Pages

Sunday, May 28, 2006

"Survivors Exposed" review


Survivors Exposed (2001)

Directed by Doug Hoffman
Writing credits Jimmy Diblanket Randolph Kret

Julie K. Smith.... Ruby Sparrow
Shauna O'Brien.... Babbette Laroux
Aimee Sweet.... Angela Adams
Alexus Winston.... Cheryl church
Aria Giovanni.... Monica Snatch

I never thought looking at topless women could be boring until I saw "Survivors Exposed". I rented it because I saw that Julie Smith was in it. Naturally, I wanted to see her take her titanic top off. She did not disappoint me. In fact, she was the first girl to let her breasts bounce free. What a sight they are. Soon all of the other Survivor chicks will get back to nature and fling off their unnecessary bikini tops. Once the cast has all gone topless, the movie faces an incredibly perplexing question: Now what? "Survivors Exposed" has no answer.

Only a great fool would take the time to criticize this movie for being a thrown together piece of nothing. "Survivors Exposed" was slapped together to give the less fortunate males of our society a glimpse at some hard bodied California women. The movie exposes itself at the very end as being nothing more than a commercial for the cast member's websites. Each girl gets to give out their website address where we can go for more sexy pictures, more video images, and more, more, more! Yeesh. I mean, come on. Don't you think that the goobers who rent this know exactly where to go for their continued viewing pleasure?

One last thing, there is actually a section of the DVD called OUTTAKES. Listen closely my friend, this whole movie is an outtake. They turned the camera on and hoped a movie would magically appear on the other side. No such luck.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 exposed Survivors

In the spirit of this film, I give you more, more, more of all of the Survivor women.

Julie K. Smith - #1 Survivor

Aria Giovanni

Alexus Winston
Aimee Sweet

Shauna O'Brien

More, more, more Julie K Smith! Still the best.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dammit, I love Aria but this sounds shitty.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear the movie sucks but I do appreciate the hot photos!

Michael Whiteacre said...

Prior to seeing this movie, I would have thought it impossible to make an erotic movie THIS bad with this cast. The problem was, they were in denial about what kind of movie they were making.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

They may have been in denial that they were even making a movie. It's more like a showcase of women. Sure I like seeing Julie Smith naked as much as the next man. Well, probably more than most. But even I couldn't get into this waste of time. A shame for sure since every Julie Smith nude scene should be cherished.

Julie K Smith said...

HEY, I THOUGHT I DID A GOOD JOB CONSIDERING WHAT I HAD TO WORK W/ . HOW MANY OTHER BABES YOU KNOW CAN IMITATE 'RUDY'(THE WINNER OF THE FIRST SERIES OF 'SURVIVOR')??? THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE WHAT THEY CALLED A PARODY ON IT...IN HINDSITE...IT WAS (I HAVE TO AGREE) C R A P!! YA WIN SOME, YA LOOSE SOME, AND IF YOUR LUCKY... YOU GET SOME!!!