Pages

Sunday, May 14, 2006

"Nightmare Man" review


Nightmare Man (2006)

Directed by Rolfe Kanefsky
Writing credits Rolfe Kanefsky

Gwen Davis.... Wendy Simmons
Robert Donovan.... Doctor Evans
James Ferris.... Jack
Blythe Metz.... Ellen
Richard Moll.... Captain McCormac
Hanna Putnam.... Trinity
Tiffany Shepis.... Mia

I saw “Nightmare Man” at an advanced screening. It was me, my plus one, the cast, crew, family and friends. It was a cozy little setting.

“Nightmare Man” is about a woman who has nightmares. She thinks she’s being stalked by a demon. A Nightmare Man. Her husband thinks she’s nuts and wants to dump her in an insane asylum. Of course, he couldn’t pick an asylum that was down the road so they proceed to drive into the deep dark woods to find it. Oh no! Their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. He decides he’s had enough of her babbling and ditches his hot wife on the side of the road. This man has clearly not watched many horror movies.

So naturally the Nightmare Man manifests himself and charges after his favorite victim. She makes a run for it and ends up at a house with four other people. It’s going to be a long night as the Nightmare Man wants to get inside the house and rip and tear his way through everyone in it.

“Nightmare Man” is a solid B-flick. The pacing is tight, the effects are good, and the acting is on par, if not a little above, usual B-standards. It drags a little at the beginning when the wife, (Blythe Metz), is stuck in the car with her Nightmare Man but once she makes a dash for it and heads to Tiffany Shepis’s house, the movie keeps rolling. I enjoyed myself.

Speaking of Tiffany Shepis, has anyone looked better holding a crossbow while stripped down to their black laced underwear? That’s a rhetorical question. Of course no one has! We must thank the director, (Rolfe Kanefsky), for having the foresight to include it in this movie. There’s another good scene where Metz is covered in blood. She’s in her underwear as well. Shepis and Metz also both have topless scenes. My God man. You can’t ask for more than that.

One last thing, I had a good plus one with me at the screening. The second he heard that there was booze available, he leapt up and got me a rum and coke before the movie started. I proceeded to chug it in 10 minutes. Free booze delivery? You can’t ask for more than that.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 black laced Tiffanys


4 comments:

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

I want to bugger Tiffany Shepis (as she was in 1997 whan she was 18, not as she is now obviously).

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

Actually being more specific with regards to actual dates, i would also love to have buggered Virginia Madsen on september 11 1979 (her 18th birthday) and as i was thrusting my knob in and out of her lushious young arse-hole i would be thinking about how exactly 18 years in the future on september 11 1997 i would be doing exactly the same thing to Tiffany Shepis on her 18th birthday, thats right Tiffany was born the very day that Virginia turned 18. I would then have some truly great memories of september 11 instead of the dodgy ones i have got. Hey maybe its time for some more glorious frivolity after that bit of morbidity so i was just thinking that in the 36 years between 1961 and 1997 it would have also have been great to have buggered hundreds or perhaps thousands more gorgeous sexy young girls without caring about their ages or birthdays (as long as they were all aged somewhere between 18 and 22 obviously) and just ensuring that each time i got my knob up another birds bum i always left it gaping and oozing with spunk, imagine buggering 5 or 6 different gorgeous birds every day for 36 years, now thats perfection.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Your knowledge of actresses birthdays is impressive. I hope that you are keeping a spreadsheet somewhere that catalogues all the different birthdays. Or maybe there's a website somewhere that keeps tabs on when movie stars turn legal.

Virginia Madsen is an interesting choice to hop in the sex time machine for. Always liked her in "The Hot Spot". But Shepis would be worth traveling through space and time for.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

Jennifer Connolly was in "The Hot Spot" i would have loved to have buggered that incredible little darlin` on december 12th 1988 (her 18th birthday) what a stunning bird she was. Virginia was 28 when she appeared in "The Hot Spot" so 10 years past the absolute pinnacle and peak of her physical attractiveness and desirability although still a tasty bird obviously. I was just thinking back to easter of 1997 (april 12th to be precise) and Claire Danes 18th birthday, imagine buggering her on that day i`d have felt like i owned the universe.