Tuesday, May 16, 2006

"The Bare Wench Project" review

The Bare Wench Project (2000)

Directed by Jim Wynorski
Writing credits Jim Wynorski

Nikki Fritz.... Nikki
Julie K. Smith.... Chloe
Lorissa McComas.... Lori
Antonia Dorian.... Toni
Lenny Juliano.... Lunk
Julie Strain.... The Bare Wench

I bought this DVD. Nikki Fritz and Julie Smith fill the screen with their abundant charm. They're off to see the Wench, the wonderful Wench of Oz. They drag a couple of other girls with them for some variety. They're all going hiking in the woods so that they can locate the Bare Wench and still find time to take their tops off. I think we all know which is the more important mission.

I saw "Bare Wench Project 2" before seeing this one. But, funny enough, I didn't miss anything by skipping ahead as "Bare Wench Project" is the exact same movie as "Bare Wench Project 2". I mean, plot, locations, dialogue, Fritz, it's exactly the same. The only thing that has changed are the other girls who get bare.

So on that note, let me once again drool in Fritz's general direction. That is one killer, A+ body. We need to see Fritz in a horror flick. OK. How about this? Nikki Fritz - The Sexorcist. She could drive out sex demons from girls who are possessed. Yeah. And why isn't Julie Smith in more B-movies? She is in the same league as Fritz. The League of Extraordinary Babes.

So if you're looking for top notch T&A, look no further. The only thing wrong with this one is the same thing that was wrong with the "Blair Witch Project": Improvised shouting matches. I don't want to see the ladies get testy and berate each other. Be calm. Get Bare.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 Nikki's lost in the topless woods

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