Saturday, May 06, 2006

"Lolita 2000" review

Lolita 2000 (1997)
AKA Lolida 2000

Directed by Cybil Richards

Jacqueline Lovell.... Lolita
Danielle Williams.... Joey
Heather James.... Keely
Tom Sherri
Eric Acsell.... Tom
Gabriella Hall.... Sherry
Taylor St. Clair.... Jolene
J. Nichole Italiano-Zaza.... Maya

I bought this DVD. I saw that Nikki Nova was in it and had to check it out. Lolita, (Jacqueline Lovell), is some sort of outer space storyteller. She wants to spin tales of lust and sex for our viewing pleasure. The "System" she used to work for tried to cool her down but Lolita wants to heat things up. She has blasted off in her love rocket to show us three stories. "Are you in control of your mind?"

Well, I was disappointed. Everything that is wrong with softcore porno is evident in "Lolita 2000". The women are all hot and the sex scenes have that glossy shine to it. So you see the problem don't you? Lots of half hearted sex scenes don't make for a hot skin flick.

Take the Nikki Nova scene. Nikki is in an intergalactic prison for the criminally horny. She's sharing a cell with some hot blonde. Naturally, they want to express their love for each other. This scene should have blown my mind but instead left me unsatisfied. Nikki and friend just kind of dance around each other while rubbing and touching. This is what I'm talking about. This is the "Lolita 2000" version of a sex scene. All they needed was to have the babes get naked. It doesn't matter if the ladies are actually trying to have sex, being naked is enough. Well, not for me Lolita!

Speaking of Lolita Lovell, why doesn't she have a sex scene? She babbles on and on about the power of the stories but doesn't seem to get too hot and bothered about them. OK, so she fools around with one chick for about 30 seconds. You call that a sex scene? Come on Lolita. Practice what you preach.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 tame Lolitas

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