Friday, May 19, 2006

"Jeepers Creepers II" review

Jeepers Creepers II (2003)

Directed by Victor Salva
Writing credits Victor Salva

Ray Wise.... Jack Taggart, Sr.
Jonathan Breck.... The Creeper
Garikayi Mutambirwa.... Deaundre 'Double D' Davis
Eric Nenninger.... Scott 'Scotty' Braddock
Nicki Aycox.... Minxie Hayes

So the Creeper comes back. Jeepers. The Creeper gets horny every 23 years. Lucky for him, a bunch of hunky guys get stranded in the middle of nowhere. This turns the Creeper on. The rest of the movie has the Creeper trying to pick them up and carry them away to his love shack. A farmer comes around with a harpoon gun to bag his own Moby Dick.

The Creeper has a thing for guys. Girls don't interest him. When I saw the three girls in this one, I knew they were not picked for their hot bodies. I don't know what they were picked for. When he stares into the school bus looking for his next hot meal, he licks the glass as he makes longing eyes at them. This is how he lets guys know he wants them. There are also a ton of scenes with the guys tanning their bodies. The guys also sing a song that has the c-word for the male sex organ repeated numerous times. This song was all the Creeper needed to hear to know that they swing his way.

"Jeepers Creepers 2" is as brain dead as a horror movie can get. The school bus breaks down, the Creeper flies around and that's it. There's not much here in the way of variety or imagination. There were some decent action scenes as the farmer went night fishing for Creeper. "Jeepers Creepers 2" would make a decent rental.

But there is only one thing on the Creeper's mind, and it ain't eating. Love shack! Baby Love Shack! Hop in my Chrysler, it's as big as a WHALE!!!

SCORE: 2 out of 4 hot, hunky Creeper meals The Creeper is pleased with this one.

Get up here you hot teen. Going back to my place.

How about the hat? The hat turns you on right?

1 comment:

jervaise brooke hamster said...

Victor Salva is a faggot, the bloody dirty pansy queer bastard.