Pages

Sunday, March 05, 2006

"Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade" review

Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade (2005)

Directed by Jim Wynorski

Aria Giovanni
J. Nichole Italiano-Zaza (as Nikki Nova)

Let me make one thing clear. Nikki Nova is hot. I mean, smoking hot. Her long legs, her flowing hair, her perfect breasts… I could drool on and on. I bought this DVD because I saw that she was in it and I wanted to watch her busty crusade. As hot as she is, I still don’t think I’ve ever seen a real Nikki Nova sex scene. Nova has at least three different scenes where she’s rolling around with women, (including super babe Aria Giovanni), in lush tropical settings. But Nova is a model with a capital M. Every scene she’s in, she’s posing. Whether she’s holding a knife, a bullwhip or a woman’s breast, she never stops posing. She is constantly looking into the camera and giving it the supermodel stare. She can never concentrate on her partner(s) long enough to have a decent sex scene. It’s always a quick kiss here or a brief lick there and then right back to striking a pose. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to stare right back at her.

“Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade” is the tale of three babes named Jones and their quest to take their tops off. Since they’re in a Jim Wynorski flick, it won’t take too long. There’s also some sort of gibberish about a sexually stimulating mango that may fall into the wrong hands but since that had nothing to do with naked breasts, I wasn’t too interested. I can assure you that the filmmakers weren’t either.

Well, any skin flick that starts off with two of the babes from “Call Girl Wives” has to be good on some level. The first sex scene had the two “Wives” going at it and then getting attacked by flaming skulls. My God, they’re great together. The call girl wives I mean, not the skulls. This was the best sex scene in the movie. It truly was the only all-girl sex scene in the entire flick. The other two sex scenes were pretty weak guy/girl scenes that exist only to be fast forwarded through.

The rest of the movie consists of Nova and friends rolling around naked in the grass or on the sand. Sometimes they even rub bug lotion all over each other. They’ll take any excuse to get a little more nudity into the movie. It’s hard to condemn a movie with this much naked Nova. Sure “Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade” is a slapped together piece of nothing that was probably filmed over a long weekend in Hawaii. The cast was probably paid with a free beach vacation and all the pina coladas they could drink. But Nikki Nova is in it. And she’s naked! A lot! If that excites you, and I don’t see how it couldn’t, it’s worth a look.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 for Nikki, Nikki, Nikki


30 comments:

Michael Whiteacre said...

The first sex scene (as well as its accompanying set-up and action sequence) featuring Amanda and Taimie from "Call Girl Wives" was directed by CGW's producer/director, Michael Whiteacre (me), as a pick-up a couple of months after principal photography ended. Thank you for your kind words about it, and of course about CGW. Jim Wynorski told me he liked the pick-up, and it represents the greatest praise coming from the filmmaker whose movie I had "appended to."
Please note, my sequence in "Alabama Jones" (which has a shitload of camera set-ups, BTW) also manages to pay homage to a ton of movies -- most notably "I Spit on Your Grave" and "Army of Darkness" -- and all it was shot in under 3 hours.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Michael,

"Call Girl Wives" was great. I can't tell you how much I liked that opening three-way scene without getting very graphic. I'll spare you the details. Then again, I guess it's pretty obvious why it's so good.

Your comment has inspired me to throw "Busty Crusade" back in the DVD player for another round with Taimie and Amanda. I'll have to look for those homages you mentioned as I missed them my first viewing. With the naked Wives running around, it was hard to concentrate.

You picked the right Call girl wives to take to the Busty Crusade. Taimie and Amanda were the best. I wait feverishly for the sequel: "Call Girl Wives 2 - The Second Calling".

Michael Whiteacre said...

The "I Spit on your Gerave" bit is an homage to the movie poster -- in this case it's Taimie shot from behind, walking away from camera, as she carries a machete. The "Army of Darkness" bit concerns the solution to the question: "How do I shoot them running through the bushes without a tracking rig?" -- I chose the same solution as Sam Raimi: have them run in place against a blue sky, and have PA's hit them with branches on both sides! I like to think of the lens flare bit as they cross the rope bridge as a tribute to the original "Planet of the Apes."

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

OK. I see them now. Wow. Three homage's in three hours. You are a serious movie fan. You should think about segueing into horror flicks. Take the Call Girl Wives with you. I want Amanda spitting on someone's grave.

Normally I'd be a little surprised at a lesbian sex scene having that many horror/sci-fi homages but, now that I think about it, I remember a credit at the beginning of "Call Girl Wives" for "Un film de Whiteacre". I laughed at that. As I look at the IMDb movie connections, one of them is for "Yentl". I take it you are not one to get too serious about your skin flicks. Have some fun, kick back and have a woman dance around in a giant sombrero. It all makes sense somehow.

Michael Whiteacre said...

You know, I feel I'm serving the same fan base when referencing those films. Or perhaps, only those seriously into cult movies have those particular sensors and synapses open enough to notice or even seek out such moments in any film genre. BTW, there's an "Evil Dead II" reference in "Call Girl Wives" too, as well as a bunch of "Bubba Ho-tep" inspired "flashes" (from the opening credits on) and skip-frames (during shots of the gals sleeping), not to mention a "Sexy Beast" homage (when Amanda awakens from her dream). The "un film de" is both a nod to my friend Jim Wynorski and his use of pretentious-sounding pseudonyms, and to a line in a short film I enjoyed immensely at the 2000 Sundance Festival, "Men Named Milo, Women Named Greta" which is frequently on the Sundance Channel.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

I missed all of those homages on my first viewing of "Call Girl Wives", especially the short film since I have never heard of it. I completely believe that they were there though. That opening three-way scene was so damn hot that my sensors and synapses overloaded.

I've often wondered why Wynorski has so many pseudonyms: Jay Andrews, Bob E. Brown and, of course, Harold Blueberry. Does he not know that everybody knows when he's directing a B-flick? Is it some legal reason? Or is it just for the fun of it? Wynorksi truly is a B-movie machine. You've got to give the guy credit even if some of his movies are completely terrible. However, his Blueberry persona has mastered the art of the softcore flick. You've got to play to your strengths. Un film de Blueberry can only mean one thing: lots of naked breasts.

Anonymous said...

I loved the movie "Call Girl Wives," I'm acutally very dissapointed that it is not on video.

Anonymous said...

In the Alabama movi during the first sex scene the sound track is good. Love sick baby....

where can I get that song ?

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Not sure where that song is. Or what it's called. I was tuned in to other sounds. Or is that turned on?

Anonymous said...

Who shot the campfire-dance scene? I swear, the lighting in that part made the gals look twice as hot!

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

I'll bet Wynorski filmed the campfire scene. There's also a campire scene in all of the Bare Witch flicks.

Michael Whiteacre said...

Everything but my sequence was shot by "Mr. H.R. Blueberry" on location in Hawaii. And yes, he has a way with a campfire.

Anonymous said...

Just saw a hi def version of this movie on showtime and it was the first hi def skin flick I've seen. What amazed me was all of the stretch marks! There was one actress during the campfire scene that the camera had to back away from because she was all stretch marks around the waist and breasts. Is the DVD version more explicit than the cable version?

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

I haven't seen the cable version so I can't really compare the two but my bet would be that it's the same version as the DVD. I don't think they edit too much for late night cable sex flicks. The DVD is not too explicit. Standard softcore with a lot of naked Nova.

Anonymous said...

where do i can get the free videos?

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

I'm not sure I know what you're talking about. Don't know of any free videos. Get Cinemax and you're sure to run into Alabama Jones sooner or later.

DaVe said...

hey guys, I'm lookin' 4 the sound track Alabama movie too...love-sick baby...who performed it?! Do u know?? It's very good!!!

please, if anybody know it, contact me!!!

thx
D@v3

Anonymous said...

when does that movie come on agan

Anonymous said...

whats the name of the reggea song durring da the scene by da little water fall with nikki and the 2 othe girls?

Anonymous said...

I'm also looking for the name of the female singer and composer of the song "Lovesick Baby" which is quite prominent in this movie, as well as some others by Digital Entertainment (DE). I first heard it in another movie where this secretary danced her way across a conference table to get to her boss's embrace. But in Busty Crusade, one can hear the complete tune and it is looped a second time to cover the fire dance scene. The film is acredited with Sasha Spiller-Rieff for "Music", but he (a.k.a., "Sashamon") only did the reggae number "Justice" which was used for another scene. Since there doesn't seem to be any OMP CD soundtrack for this movie, I, too, am interested in who sang and wrote "Lovesick Baby!"

Anonymous said...

I came across this movie on Cinemax, and thought wow, that area looks familiar. Then I realized it was filmed right here on my island of Kauai. The beach where they dance late at night and play in the sand during the day is right down the hill from me.

Some other scenes look like they were up in the mountains or foothills, perhaps near where they filmed "Jurassic Park".

IMHO, the only worthwhile part of the movie was the scene with Aria.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

That's pretty funny. Hopefully you were walking around and got to see the Jones girls in action. I would try to find the Aria lagoon and mark it as a tourist attraction. Or maybe a historical landmark. Both perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Hey guys .. here is the list of songs performed by the artist Sashamon, who did more than one song for the flick.. once you hear the songs you will be able to place where each one falls in, I haven't seen the movie in a while but anyhow here ya go..
http://www.sashamon.com/music.html''and Im still diggin for that one song.. Ill find it.. and Ill post as soon as I know..

gummigirl said...

Do anyone know that song lovesick baby? who sings it? the song played when they were dancing around the fire.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Try this link:

http://www.klownhead.com/music.html

Where are you lovesick baby? Why do you hide?

lovesickbaby22 said...

That site was great. It didnt have love sick baby but had alot of other songs

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

The quest for Love Sick baby rages on. We need a hero. A hero named Jones to save us. Alabama Jones, please help us find this song.

JKS said...

OOPS ...I WAS SICK AGAIN FOR THIS ONE!

Michael Whiteacre said...

LOL. JKS was one of the lucky ones. I directed the Amanda/Taimie scene because Jim left the movie unfinished. I didn't get to go to Hawaii, however -- I had to shoot in Sylmar and try to make it match. Fun times.

Dave said...

Did u find it