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Monday, September 06, 2010

"Busty Cops and the Jewel of Denial" review

Busty Cops and the Jewel of Denial (2010)

Director: Jim Wynorski
Writers: Chris De Christopher, Mark Weiler

Nikki Jayne ... Busty Cop
Tory Lane ... Busty Cop
Kaylani Lei ... Other
Amy Reid ... Busty Cop

The Busty Cops are back in action. This time they have to help the quaint, humble island natives who are in danger of losing their sacred statue of perpetual orgasms. They fly to Hawaii so that they can have as much sex as possible before solving the case. The Busty Cops manage to get naked with every person they find and still have the stamina to tell outrageously terrible jokes. It all ends in complete debauchery as the busty cops have copious amounts of sex on the beach while various dirty blondes dance and fornicate to celebrate their carnal exploits.

The frequent flyer miles were stacking up on Wynorksi's credit card so it was time to make another "Busty Cops" movie. He flew the cast out, (economy class), and told them to do something interesting whenever it seemed like the camera was rolling. Wynorski was too busy chugging Mai Tai's and Pina Colada's to care. The men in this movie are most likely Wynorski's drinking buddies. They had to pay their own travel expenses but were compensated with sex scenes and all the Macadamia nuts they could eat. Actually, it makes a pretty good argument for being his drinking buddy.

So the Busty Cops are back but Wynorski forgot to bring along his best one. Where is Nikki Nova? She captures the voluptuous essence of being a Busty Cop but she is nowhere in sight. In fact, with the exception of Tory Lane, this is definitely the B-team of Busty Cops. None of these women are memorable. It is one anonymous blonde after another having softcore sex in the sand until Wynorski wakes up long enough to get them to stop.

But Wynorski manages to do a few things right and one of them was bringing along Tory Lane to romp in the sand. She is amazing. Tory Lane saves this movie from oblivion. She has a pretty nice three-way scene at the beginning of the movie with her fellow busty cops which starts things off on a positive note. She also ends up having sex with most everyone else in the movie. She is all about high energy sex and she delivers the softcore thrills.

So if you enjoy seeing clips from Wynorski's beach vacation masquerading as late night cinema, "Busty Cops and the Jewel of Denial" is the visual stimulation you seek. For those who can't get enough of watching naked women roll around in the sand, you have found nirvana. And for those who get turned on by watching women rub chocolate sauce on each other, (why Wynorksi why?!), then this film will excite you. As for me, I found it better than staring at the ceiling so it served its purpose. There were plenty of naked women and there was no plot to distract me. And as for Officer Tory Lane, for bravery in the face of Wynorksi duty, I salute you.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 busty cops

Officer Lane.

16 comments:

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Not sure if you did this on purpose, but the pic is from Elegant Angel's Busty Cops (2009), directed by William H. That's Gianna and Shyla Stylez on the cover.

I fear I may be missing a joke or something (seeing as "on patrol" is photoshopped to say "go sunbathing")...if this is the case, consider me an idiot.

Dr. Gore said...

GG girl,

Since Mr Wynorski is too cheap to provide a cover for most of his movies, you have to make things up as you go. So yes, I did this on purpose. And no, I don't consider you an idiot.

But thanks for giving credit where its due. Actually, I would have liked the movie a lot more if Gianna and Shyla were in it.

J.R. LeMar said...

I haven't seen any of these Busty Cops flicks. I'll make a mental note to look them up.

But, considering it's a Wynorski film, let me make a guess about that 3-girl sex scene that you said opens the film: it either takes place in a hot tub or a bathtub, right?

Dr. Gore said...

Close. It actually takes place near some water but they don't jump in. The Busty Cops are kissing and licking each other near a swimming pool. There may have been a shower running somewhere but I can't remember. I was distracted.

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Thanks for clarifying Dr. Gore!

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

I want to bugger all those incredible chicks and then "Tit-Fuck" them and unload half-a-gallon of spunk all over their tits.

OhMyHead said...

Who is the super-skinny girl with the tiny boobs? She's only in the film for a few minutes, and doesn't seem to be credited.

Anonymous said...

Cant figure out last song/tune in movie only know lyrics "So I just sit here all alone" "You make me feel good" Not sure if anything is credited beside Roobie Breastnut (Songs)

Anonymous said...

The super skinny girl is the lovely Franziska Facella. You're welcome ;-)

Anonymous said...

Who is the blonde with nice real breasts in the three way near the end of the movie?

Sarah-Beth said...

I was rather disappointed that the title of it is called Jewel of Denial and Jewel D'Nyle was not in this.

Dr. Gore said...

Good call. Although Wikipedia now says she is a former porn actress. But she probably should have come out of retirement for this one.

Anonymous said...

Who is the girl in the greenish color clothes

argglefarggle said...

who is the busty girl in the light blue spandex?

Eduardo López said...

Sorry, but does anybody know the name of the busty cop in licght blue spandex... I I've googled it and is very hard to find her name.

The Wet Dreamer said...

Those two ladies dressed like cowards wearing badges, their breasts are large enough that my cock could get stuck in the center of their bosoms in the middle of their cleavage. Two beautiful ladies with beautiful deep cleavage that could engulf even my dick till I cummed in the center of big bosoms.