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Saturday, September 12, 2009

"Busty Cops: Protect and Serve!" review

Busty Cops: Protect and Serve! (2009)

Director: Michael Whiteacre
Writer: William Williamson


So there I was, watching what I thought was "Busty Cops 2" on late night Cinemax. That's what the cable guide said. This was not "Busty Cops 2". It's actually "Busty Cops: Protect and Serve!" I had seen half of it one night but wanted to watch it from the beginning so I could get the full Busty Cops experience. Since I couldn't wait another minute to get some Busty Cops in my life, I discovered the joys of cable on demand. It was ready to go in seconds. I demanded some Busty Cops and Cinemax delivered.

As I'm watching this rough facsimile of a movie, I swore I had seen some of these scenes before but I couldn't remember where. One scene has Hannah Harper in front of a brick wall and it jogged my memory to visions of another Busty Cops adventure. For the answer to the origin of my Busty Cops flashback we must go Back In Time....

I had seen clips of this movie when it was known as "Busty Cops: Back in Time". The director, Michael Whiteacre, shared a few scenes from the movie with me awhile back. In his version, the Busty Cops travel back in time to the 1980's to do battle against nefarious Reagan-era bad guys. He didn't share any of the sex scenes with me, (dang it!), but there were a few funny scenes that showed the Busty Cops hanging out in the 80's. Cocaine and Rubik's Cubes were prevalent in most scenes. Belinda Gavin was also in an extended scene with a coked out surfer guy.None of the scenes I saw made it into the finished movie.

So now in 2009 we have "Busty Cops: Protect and Serve!". But what the heck is it? It is a stripped down, bare bones, brutally efficient, cut all the noise and get naked version of Whiteacre's movie. It also makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. But it is clear that the businessmen behind this spectacle are not interested in little details like plot, coherence or anything else that distracts from the softcore action.

"Busty Cops: Protect and Serve!" is a hard movie to describe but an easy one to like as one sex scene rolls into another. Nikki Nova, Hannah Harper and Lexi Marie are the Busty Cops. They are sent on a dangerous mission to get laid as much as possible. An annoying narrator tries to hold the film together but only ends up exposing the movie for the stapled together mess that it is.

So "Busty Cops: Protect and Serve" took the sex scenes from the original movie and trashed the rest. This is B-movie madness in action. The good news is that there are some quality sex scenes to enjoy. Hannah Harper has the best sex scene with two other women in front of some blood red lockers. This scene is followed almost immediately by a foursome with Aimee Sweet and Nikki Nova. While an abundance of nipple licking is going on, there is a glimpse of a "Footloose" poster on the wall. Then the girls go over to a dresser drawer and there is a pile of cocaine on it. A few images of the 80's managed to make their way into the finished movie after all.

But not all of the sex scenes were working for me. Lexi Marie was fairly disappointing in this one. She has one sex scene with a guy on some stairs and another with two submissive guys in a dream sequence. Both scenes are shooting blanks as she seems dazed and confused as to why she's there. Although there's an orgy scene where a girl wearing pigtails, (Princess Leia look maybe?), starts making sweet love to Lexi's rear end. That whole sex scene was pretty good.

Overall, "Busty Cops: Protect and Serve" has some good softcore sex scenes and little else. It is a nonsensical late night adventure with plenty of sex and nudity to help keep you awake. Although, I have to wonder what Whiteacre's version would have looked like if the Cops had hopped into the Delorean so they could tell some 80's punk to go ahead and make their day. I wonder how the movie ended up as this version from the scenes I originally saw. I wonder...

SCORE: 2 out of 4 busty cops

I don't know the context of this cut scene, (nor do I need to), but Belinda bound and gagged should have been in the movie for the Busty Cops to rescue. Busty Cops in big trouble. Who will save them? The editors got around that dilemna as this scene is also nowhere to be found.

37 comments:

Michael Whitacre said...

Doc,

The locker room scene with Hannah and the cadets was a good scene, with the stand-out being Eve Laurence, the busty cadet. She was a last-minute replacement, and she worked out wonderfully; I've never met a performer more eager to please and willing to take direction. All the girls were great in that scene, but she really energized it.

The fourth girl in the follow-up foursome with Hannah, Nikki and Aimie was Jelena Jensen. I wish I had good things to say about my experience with her. She had been plucked from relative obscurity over a year earlier to appear in "Busty Cops 2," and she was a fresh-faced, clear-skinned go-getter, who was quite funny and very sexy. By the time she showed up for "Busty Cops: Back In Time" (as it was then called) things had changed. Her acting was very good, and I was pleased that a credible performance could be elicited, but she had gained weight, her skin was bad and her attitude was awful. She refused to stop looking at herself in the monitor while we were shooting, which ruined many takes. She refused to do so even after I directed her not to. She also began arguing with me saying, "I've got a degree, I probably know more about cinema than you do." At this point, I have a short speech I give to unruly performers: "If you want to get out of here at a reasonable hour, please remember that your job here today isn't to act; it isn't to emote; it isn't to burn down the house. Your job is to make the director happy. Do that and we can put this scene behind us, you can get paid and I can finish my movie."

I had to shoot two scenes involving Jelena and Aimee back-to-back, and my solution for the second scene was to stage it in a shower in a small bathroom where a) she could not see the monitor, and b) she had no audience in front of which to complain. Cut!... moving on.

Cutting Belinda Gavin's scene with the surfer-dude pizza delivery guy (Kevin Harvilla) is a great loss indeed. But when they removed the entire time-travel plot, it became superfluous. She was the character who introduced the cops to other characters. She was written into the script to provide some '80s name-drops (her name is Carly Brezhnev, she's writing a book called "You'll Never Do Blow In This Town Again," and she has starred in some mondo-exploitation and porn movies with titles such as "48 Whores" and, my personal favorite, "Gorky Pork") and to add another sexy girl who could do dialogue. Originally the role had been written for Nikita Denise, whom I had used to great effect in a movie a few months earlier.

An equally great loss was the excision of the DeLorean, which looked just like the car from the "Back To The Future" series. That, as I was told over and over again, was the real "production value" of the movie (or movies, since it was shot as parts 1 & 2, simultaneously). One of the producers was obsessed with the "Back To The Future" movies, so all this DeLorean stuff was put into the scripts. I told them I needed car mounts to make the driving scenes work, so they got them for me, but managed to lose one of then on one of the first days of shooting. Then they complained that there wasn't enough of the car the movie. They wanted shots of it driving in the city at night, with all its lights going. But to shoot at night, you need a shitload of lights up and down the street. We didn't have those.

Michael Whiteacre said...

I wasn't happy with any of Lexi Marie's scenes either, other than the party scene you mentioned with Mari Possa in pigtails (Mari came up with the stand-out rear-end action -- she was a pleasure to work with), and another scene with Hannah and a guy. Mari was Seymore Butts' girlfriend, and both of those scenes were shot at Seymore's house. What I do like about those two scenes with Lexi (who was a horrible, belligerent, unprofessional young woman) is that I got to use a trick handed to me by John Frankenheimer (yes, it's really true). I asked him about getting really low angle shots where you don't have the ability to dig a hole and put the camera in it. He shook his head, "You don't have to dig a hole, or even have movable walls" he said. "You just put a mirror down on the ground, or against the wall, and shoot into the mirror. Then you 'flip' the shot in post." Genius! The plane of the mirror substitutes for the plane of the lens. So, in order to get a shot you don't really see in low budget sex fare -- the camera looking up at the girl from the floor -- I used that technique.

Without some kind of applied "style," Lexi's sex scenes were as wooden as her acting. Everything she did looked like hardcore. It was just dead-on, bump and grind. She had no subtlety, and no willingness to listen or adapt. Casting her (this was done by the producers -- I had never seen her prior to the day before filming began, when they showed me a glamour picture of her) was a fatal error.

I worked for free for two months in post-production on this movie. They didn't hire my editor; instead they hired the guy who had been passed over for my directing job! Things ended badly with me and Digital Entertainment, the original production company, but I was still surprised that Sam Phillips, the movie's producer, was not credited on this version of the movie. I am also kind of disappointed that Mr. J. Wynorski, whom I consider a friend, who oversaw the released version of it (and who also provides some of the ADR) saw fit to trivialize my participation in the film -- I co-wrote it and directed every frame of it except for the opening surfside "dream-sequence" which was directed by Jonathan Morgan in Hawaii in early 2004 while the main unit was off shooting "Alabama Jones And The Busty Crusade," and the scene of Nikki in the bubble bath, which was shot in a Las Vegas hotel room around the same period, and I also personally re-edited almost all of the sex scenes -- by not only removing my name and substituting a fake one, but crediting me as a stand-in in the end credits (which were themselves lifted off of my movie, "Call Girl Wives").

There are a lot of beautiful women to enjoy in the finished movie, and some nice lighting on which I worked very hard with Director of Photography Herbie Bueno, but not much else. A few of my jokes remain; my favorite remnant joke has villain Billy Vicious asking party girl Layla Jade, "What would you say to a nice long night of mudslides and anal sex?" She replies, "Well, I don't really drink . . . ." But the rest has been gutted, some needlessly and lazily -- like the "Boogie Nights"-inspired climax, which originally included Charmagne Star running around naked setting off fire crackers and snap caps. It also had the girls pitching Billy a new TV series (this was a scene set in the 1980s): "It's a series about a group of lesbians." Billy tells them, "that's been done already," its on TV now, "it's called The Golden Girls."

I watched the released movie for the first time with a horrified Sam Phillips the other night (I showed her my original two-part assembly the day before), and I'm quite confident I won't be watching it again voluntarily.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

So what we have here is two movies worth of sex scenes crammed into one movie. They had no room for anything else that didn't involve naked women. I did note the "Boogie Nights" set-up which seemed like it was going somewhere but then, (like everything else), was cut out. We also can't forget Mr. Quackers. That lovable duck was also tossed into the trash along with poor Belinda. But at least this movie had plenty of beautiful women to lust over. Layla Jade had a good sex scene at the end with Hannah and Charlie Laine. Nikki Nova was hot as always and the girls by the pool, (especially the Asian girl), looked good.

The idea that Wynorski couldn't bother to make the effort to credit you for your contributions shocks me. Can you feel the sarcasm in that last statement? If I were to play devil's advocate, Wynorski may not have known of your involvement in this movie. Of course if that were true then why would he use the credits for "Call Girl Wives"? One can only speculate on his motives and most speculation leads to a bad answer. At best, he was too cheap to care. At worst, he thought it was hilarious to credit you as a stand-in. What's interesting about his involvement is that he must have known that eventually you would have discovered this movie's existence. If he was worried about how you would take its edited release, it sure doesn't look like he'll be losing too much sleep over it.

There are still a lot of unanswered questions when it comes to this calamity. You certainly don't need to answer them but I still can't help but wonder about a few things. If they hired you to do a softcore movie about time travel, how did things go so awry when it seems like you made the effort to accommodate their needs? You've got cocaine, Rubik's cubes and a Delorean for crying out loud. You even had Nikki Nova posed as Michael J Fox at the beginning on her bed. Did they want to throw "Teen Wolf" into the movie too? Not enough Delorean the problem? Did they just not like you? What was the final straw that shut this movie down?

But the really important question is this: If "Busty Cops: Back in Time" can get released as "Busty Cops: Protect and Serve!", what will be the fate of the other two unreleased Whiteacre movies, ("Lust Eternal" and "Call Girl Daughters")? Have they already been sold off? Will I turn on Cinemax one night and see "Lust Enduring" and "Busty Daughters: Protect and Service!" playing? Will they combine them into one giant sex scene movie and call it "Lust Daughters" or "Call Girl Eternal"? If the Busty Cops can make it to Cinemax, the other two wayward films may slowly find their way to a late night cable channel soon.

Michael Whiteacre said...

What went wrong? A lot of things. I had been close friends with Sam Phillips since 1997. She had an open invitation to dine with my family, who adored her, and I would frequently sleep over at her house. We were close platonic friends, so it was not uncommon for me to sleep in the same bed as she. Often, other guests in the same bed included Nikki Nova and Tera Patrick, so I'm sure you an understand the appeal. But our friendship began to suffer around the time of my involvement with Digital Entertainment. I've thought about this a lot, and the best explanation I can posit is that the principals of DE, one of whom was dating Sam, thought it wise to keep us from forming a critical mass of power in the multi-sided relationship, and their solution was to drive a wedge between us. I, being an ambitious person, and having already had a taste of the riches to be got from creating and marketing late-night fare, was suddenly showered with encouragement and handed a long-term contract to direct and distribute DE's output.

Sam's role in DE was essentially to cast the talent and liase between them and DE. She wasn't merely the casting director, she was a kind of den mother to them, and an advocate as well. She would try to get them the best rate possible, etc.... At the time I was being told something quite different by DE. I was led to believe that Sam had a desire to direct, and that she was jealous of me, and angry at me, and that I had to watch out. DE's offered solution was to suggest that they act as a buffer between Sam and I, to protect me and the productions. That was very thoughtful of them. You see, Doc, it was all bullshit -- Sam was not my enemy, although she was becoming justifiably annoyed at my avoidance of her. It was she who had introduced my to the DE folks, and she felt betrayed. She was not wrong to feel that way. God knows what they were telling her about me, but the above is what I was told about her "dark motives."

It was into this environment that DE mounted a 10 1/2 day production effort in April 2005. By the start of pre-production, all communication had ceased between Sam and myself. I was possibly the person with the most varied production experience in the group at that point, yet I had no role in producing the movies (Busty Cops: Back In Time parts 1 & 2, and Call Girl Daughters). The line producer was DE's "Joaquin Rome," and the production manager was one of their employees, "Rob Styles." Both of these guys owed their livings to DE. Rob lived at a condo which had been rented to be a post-production house of an offshoot entity. In other words, they were the "bitches" of the man who actually ran the show, and arranged for its financing. They were employees, I was an outside independent contractor. This would become important later on, when CYA set in.

Throughout the production, there was no direct communication between Sam and I. It was a Cold War which gradually turned into a campaign of mutual sabotage and the undermining of each other's authority. Sam tells me now that she was not consciously doing anything to me, and I must take her at her word, but nonetheless, it was an awful working environment, and four camps emerged - those people who were loyal to her (which were many, since she had hired 95% of the cast and much of the crew); those loyal to me; those who were just there to make a movie and didn't care one way or another; and DE, which was driving the boat. The attempt to keep us from ganging up against DE's interests was backfiring, the movie was completely out of control, and we were all going to ride it down to the ground. I was convinced that there was a mutiny afoot, and DE tacitly encouraged that view by keeping me isolated from Sam's camp. I had to hear everything second- or third-person.

Michael Whiteacre said...

The production was also critically understaffed. The production manager was also the 1st Assistant Director and the still photographer. He was also quite obviously smitten with one of the leads, and in my recollection, he spent far more time photographing her and running the behind-the-scenes unit than doing anything else. I would be out on set working wit the core crew -- the same people I had worked with since Call Girl Wives -- trying to slay the dragon. The universe does not want movies to be made; it's a battle against time, against the elements. Movies are an unnatural occurrence. You need to have someone who has your back when you're out there with your hands deep in the mud and blood. But whenever I would turn around to get whatever I needed for the next shot -- a prop, a costume, an actor, an answer -- not only wasn't it ever there, there wasn't even anyone there to ask. Ever. I would personally have to go running off set to find someone. Every time. The costumer would not listen to me when I said "Stay here, so I can tell you what scene is next," so she'd have notice as to which costumes to have ready for the cast. This was a movie set in two different decades. Wardrobe and make-up issues were intensely important. Consequently, continuity issues arose.

Another obstacle was that, in a cost-saving measure, Sam had hired many of the girls for half-days. That's fine, except, the production manager and I, who did the schedules, needed to know and we didn't. I would be told, "Aren't you going to shoot so-and-so soon? You know she has to leave in an hour." I'd say, "What are you talking about, she's scheduled for this afternoon!" Then I'd have to shuffle of drop scenes on the spot to accommodate something I should have been told about in advance. Then there was the cut-rate steadicam operator they hired who could not get his rig to work. I had planned a lot of steadicam shots to make shooting go faster. Steadicam is exciting camera movement, and it allows you to move around a scene without having to do separate set-ups, like two-shots, over the shoulder shots, what have you. But this guy took hours to get the thing working, so I'd have to change the way I'd intended to shoot a scene, and start doing set-up after set-up.

Then there was Lenny Juiano. I adored Lenny. I'd known him for years. I met him on one of Jim Wynorski's sets in my earliest days in LA. Casting him as "Doc," the crazy inventor character, was my ace-in-the-hole. Finally, an actor who's performance I didn't have to worry about! But Lenny showed up looking like hell. He was white as a ghost. Rob Styles said to me, "He looks like a guy who's in his first week of AA." Lenny had not memorized his lines, which were many. He was to provide most of the exposition for the movies, explaining how time travel worked, etc... This was a big problem. We lost more than a half-day trying to get his scenes shot. By the end I was feeding him lines and having him parrot them back in close-up. We had to bring him back another day to grab some more of the lines we had missed. It was a different location so I had to re-stage the scene, and DE had to rent the Delorean for an extra day. And Lenny was a little better, but not much.

Yet another problem was, after being assured that I had been hired to do the movies my way, the same way I had done my others, DE instead routinely substituted their own ideas and intuition for mine on set. Lines of dialogue were added, cut or changed. I was told which scenes or shots would be dropped. I had no authority over anything. As someone who had spent so much time on the script -- which had already been loaded up with dialogue by Mr. Rome, who fancied himself a screenwriter -- it was heartbreaking. I kept going, figuring I'd solve these problems in post-production. This was hubris on my part. I thought I could maneuver around these obstacles, but I was fooling myself. We were all doomed. These guys were, as a director friend of mine with personal knowledge of DE called them, "a couple of rich dopes."

Michael Whiteacre said...

Nonetheless, I tried to make the most of what I was given. The scene you liked with Layla, Hannah and Charlie was shot it a small, dim, stuffy attic in the same house where we shot Lexi's staircase tryst, as well as the pool/jacuzzi finale, the dialogue scene between the two villains that Nikki overhears, and Nikki's striptease where she accidentally reveals her badge. Outside the house I grabbed establishing shots, and the traveling shot of Nikki walking up to and getting into her car. I also shot a trick photography sequence, and a scene of Nikki showering, both of which have been cut from the released movie. We shot the hell out of those locations, but it was in service of a flawed script, which became worse and worse as time went on and changes were forced. At one point, one of the DE lackeys came up to me on set, and made me stop shooting, in order to tell me that we were five pages behind schedule and that he didn't know how we would be able to make them up. I'd had it by that point. I looked at him wearily, and opened my shooting script to a random page. "Wow, five pages?" I asked. I then tore out five pages, one at a time, crumpled them up and tossed them away, and shut the binder. "Don't worry about a thing," I smiled, "we're right on schedule." No one ever mentioned the schedule to me again.

A story I've heard circulated is that I was a drug-addled madman on set, and that's why the movie was not finished. I was very thin at the time of the shoot, that was true, but I was a rapidly deteriorating nervous wreck, and I had been ill in the weeks prior to filming. I had caught a bad flu at the 2005 AVN Expo in Las Vegas, which Chasey Lain (who was living with me) and I kept giving back and forth to each other. Chasey had also given me pink-eye, which turned into a clogged tear duct and a severe infection. I looked like a fish, with a big swollen eye, for weeks. I was still carrying around a bag with my eye drops, eye wash, etc... on set, and I've heard that people thought it was my "stash." Also, a lot of people there had not worked with me before and were no doubt puzzled by the fact that I wear a big blue sombrero when I direct. If I were a visitor to that set, I met well have thought the same of the director. To those who question my chemical state at the time of production I can only offer the following question: why would DE have not simply fired me if I were this unreliable maniac? They could have done so during pre-production, or chosen to delay production. They could have relieved me of my duties on set, but they did not. Instead, I worked the entire length of production, going straight from set to the production office, where Messrs. Rome and Styles and I worked on the next day's schedule, and I often slept over at the office, in the company of the production manager. Half of the movie was shot in fairly remote locations. I then spent two and a half months working on the movie in post production.

Michael Whiteacre said...

But eventually it was all shut down. I can't say what the final straw was, but the progress of the editing had not be encouraging. This is where the inexperience of DE became a critical factor. DE had outsourced the post-production of its previous movies, but they planned to do these movies in-house. The problem was they had hired an editor who, as I mentioned above, had been passed over for the directing job, and who was busy directing and editing a short film of his own at the time the footage arrived. He had two of his assistants capture and log most of the footage, and then he came in and finished that task. Now, there are standardized ways to log footage so that editors can find the shots they need when they need them. The problem here was that each of the people who had captured the HD footage had used a different method of logging it! It was a nightmare. The editor and I would spend 20 minutes trying to find a shot which should have been able to be found in 30 seconds or less. To make matters worse, some footage was incorrectly logged, or not logged at all. This resulted in first assemblies which had huge holes in them -- missing scenes, missing shots, missing lines of dialogue, scenes in the wrong order. It was shocking and disheartening to all concerned.

The world will never see Mr. Quackers, the duck, or his untimely end. I still think that the shot of the Detective discovering his pet duck's horrible fate is one of the best things I ever shot, as is the gag sequence that I did with the core crew during lunch one day -- they gave up their lunch to do it for me, these were good guys -- involving two construction workers, one of which is distracted by the Busty Cops walking by. I wanted to do more sight gags, DE refused. They wanted more time travel plot stuff. I told them that the time travel stuff wasn't working that well, and that we should shift toward sex and comedy, but I was shot down. Unfortunately, the world will never see Belinda Gavin and Kevin Harvilla's roles, and they had some very funny stuff. One of the last things that Mr. Rome told me was that the production was a missed opportunity, and he was correct. The collapse of the movies, and DE's subsequent refusal to pay me monies they had collected for Call Girl Wives, which I had made as a joint venture with them in 2004, marked the end of DE. The experience drove Mr. Rome out of the movie business. It was also a financially crippling blow to me, personally. I had to do a couple of quick directorial "works for hire" to make up the cash. My name is not on those movies, and I've never seen them, but I did see the sales figures, and they were very profitable for their investors. Life goes on, Doc. That's show business.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

You may have been overdosing on eye drops and tylenol during the shoot but there was definitely someone in this cast of characters that was snorting some of your cocaine props. Did you notice any missing? Was there a DE lackey who kept distracting you while another one grabbed the coke? There was a drug addled madman somewhere in this debacle. There is no logical reason why all of these nefarious power plays had to happen unless someone was snorting controlled substances with great abandon. Actually, it would be funnier if you were doing lines of Bolivian blow between Chasey Lain's breasts between takes. That would be a great way to destroy a movie.

I don't think I realized how devastating this whole fiasco was for you. This is more than a case of you being an independent contractor. You were invested in these movies release and success and yet it seems like no one cared if they ever finished the movie. How you manage to get four different camps competing against each other during the making of a "Busty Cops" movie is a testament to the powers of sex, lies and greed. All of these beautiful women may have driven the producers mad. Or maybe it was the money.

But I wonder if there was any truth to your arrangement from the start. Why would they shower you with praise to get you to direct only to turn around and try to sabotage their own movie? What possible benefit could they get out of corrupting your relationship with your producer? Were they jealous? Did they lose faith in the movie early on but didn't want to tell you? Was it all a lie from the beginning? And if it was, why would they spend the money on a movie they never wanted to make? Were they hoping you'd quit in disgust and leave the bags of cocaine behind?

There was some weird game being played here but we may never know exactly why. Maybe there is no reason. Maybe it's another case of a couple of rich guys who want to see beautiful ladies disrobe but hate having to deal with the guy in the sombrero who keeps the disrobing on track. Maybe, as you say, this is show business. But the business seemed to derail in a haze of accusations and deceitfulness. You'd think all of the busty sex breaking out would calm people down. It just seemed to rile them up.

Robert said...

When I saw this I just thought it was a redesigned box for Busty Cops. I should have known better, what "B is for Busty" movie would ever need new cover art to garner fresh attention? But if Nickie Benz is the 3rd Cop, then apparently this is actually a 3rd installment.

Admittedly, I'm a bit surprised to see Hannah Harper return. She just didn't seem to be too into the first one. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but it just looked that way. I liked the cast for Busty Cops 2 the best. Actually, I like Gloria-Anne Giblert the best!

Michael Whiteacre said...

Well, Doc, if power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, then self-delusion is the ultimate intoxicant. In this case, all of the principal players were guilty of it, including myself.

Riled up or not, as you suggest, I do not believe that it was ever DE's intention to sabotage their own movies; that's not what I'm saying. They were naive young guys (all younger than me), and they believed that the changes they were making or demanding would work and would improve the movie. Also, the two above-named people both had to please their boss, who was an arrogant young man who simply enjoyed issuing edicts and having them followed to the letter. That's good work if you can get it, but absent a lot of knowledge and experience in a field, it's a dangerous farce. He was not exactly a people person, either.

At first, they certainly did care if the movies were completed and released. They were banking on it. But when they couldn't get what they wanted, they came up with an alternate business model. Plan B: everybody keeps the computers and other toys that the company had bought for them, and they go and apologize to their rich investor(s). Then DE simply goes out of business.

What did these productions in is partly the syndrome that has risen to the fore in American business, and it sickens me. Ego now trumps greed. The smart thing to do would have been to treat this like a business investment, and let it run its course. But the movie business makes people wacky. So many people harbor dreams of being in the movie business, for a host of reasons: fame, sex, power, etc.... I was invested in these movies in other ways. I had a long-term contact which provided for me getting a percentage of the profits upon their release. I already knew lots of girls; I didn't need to be a director to meet girls.

Another factor here is that the modus operandi of the boss in this case was to indulge subordinates in their dreams, and provide encouragement, in order to gain their gratitude and loyalty. That's why Mr. Rome, a number-cruncher, was suddenly a screenwriter. By the same token, that's how I, a journeyman in film production, who had spent most of the previous six years as a film distributor, became a director in this genre. I stepped in to direct a scene for DE after Jim Wynorski had to leave to go an a date in Vegas in January 2004, and then I asked DE to loan me their camera package and insurance in Feb 2004, and allow me to shoot with their crew (whom I paid) to make Call Girl Wives.

Michael Whiteacre said...

As for the image of being between Chasey's breasts between takes, no I don't think that would be a good way to destroy a movie. These productions ended with my friend Friday working the last day of shooting, doing a scene for Call Girl Daughters, and sticking around so that I could take naps between takes on her ample bosom as she sat beside me. Gracious plenty incarnate, I called them. I was completely exhausted, and I could no longer stand up. It was the first and only time I can recall not standing or pacing on set. She took pity on me, and stayed around for hours. She, my crew, and the cast members of CGD, including Kimberly Kane and Taryn Thomas, were very concerned. Ten and a half days straight is a long haul, especially under those working conditions. When we wrapped, it was time for a long lie down in a cool dark room.

You asked a very interesting question: "Were they jealous?" No one involved was jealous of the fact that I was directing the movies, or any of the work that I had done for DE. They were into their own thing. But, I had become very tight, I thought, with all three of the principals, especially the boss and Mr. Rome. We would have lunch or dinner together three, four times a week. I would bring girls out to dinner (in the case of Mr. Rome) or over to their place of residence (the other two). We had drinks, we had fun, everybody got laid. I always shared. In the girls department, despite not being particularly wealthy or well-bred, I always did just fine. Looking back on it now, it appears to me that this was one thing that the DE guys could never fathom -- or forgive. They simply didn't think I deserved that. No matter how much they would be the beneficiaries -- whether by hanging out with these girls, or by me getting Hannah Harper, whom I had dated, to return to her Busty Cops 2 role after she had walked off that movie and swore never to work with DE again -- they would always resent me for it. A part of them took great pleasure, I remember too well, in the collapse of the projects, and, especially, in my forced exit in August 2005. Mr. Styles gleefully told me of all the changes he had made to my cut, listing one by one the moments of which he knew I was fond, and what he had done to them in the latest round of editing. This arrogant guy from the wrong side of the tracks, Whiteacre, was finally getting what had been a long time coming.

One of the few people who saw it (but, of course I didn't listen) was Chasey, who regained consciousness long enough to tell me they were using me and would discard me when they felt like it. She was an expert in the pains of the latter, so perhaps I should have taken heed, but by that point I was more than willing to compromise myself in order to set myself up for the future. I made a deal wit the devil. I gleefully allowed myself to be seduced, or "razzle-dazzled" as Sam Phillips calls it. It's not easy to admit that you were a fool, tilting at windmills, but it's true. I look back on the whole DE experience as a doomed love affair -- not a great tragic affair, but a failed one that started out beautifully with all the right words being spoken, and ended up with blood on the tracks.

Michael Whiteacre said...

This stuff I've been writing you must be excruciatingly "inside" for the average reader/viewer who has no interest in production problems. Perhaps I should mention the ladies?

I haven't yet written anything about Nikki Nova, and I really should, since working with her was one of the few joys of that miserable production. Sam Phillips' friendship with Nikki Nova was really the foundation of the Digital Entertainment business model. Without it, there would have been no Busty Cops movies.

Although I'd first glimpsed her in a video which Ivan Nagy had made, All Nude Nikki, I met Nichole through Sam. In addition to being absolutely gorgeous, she is also very sharp and sardonic. We were friends for a long time -- not super-close, mind you, but we enjoyed some degree of mutual respect -- until I ruined it one night at Sam's house by blowing my stack needlessly. It was over something petty and insignificant, but I had gotten into a bad mood, and I took it out on Sam and Nichole. I later apologized for it, with all sincerity, but Nichole chose not to accept my apology, as is her right. It's certainly my loss.

This all happened way before we shot my Busty Cops movie(s). She had concerns (that I would be cruel to her on set) which needed to be addressed before she agreed to sign on. I assured her I would act professionally toward her, and so she returned as "Maxie." Throughout the shoot, Nikki was an absolute pleasure to work with. She was a pro. She knew her lines, she could sell all the "business" I needed her to pull off on camera, and she was just terrific. We worked out in detail all the things she was would and would not do in the sex scenes, and we never had any issues there. I'm very happy about the way her scenes turned out, because I told her straight out that she has a tendency to look like she's posing when she performs them -- it's a remnant of all that posing for still photos -- and she agreed and worked with me to avoid that. I think you'll agree, Doc, that she does that a lot less in my movie. The girl most guilty of it in the movie is Aimee Sweet, although I managed to break her of that habit by the time we got around to shooting her scenes for Call Girl Daughters, where she played the older, instigator character (sort of the way I had envisioned Taimie Hannum in Call Girl Wives, but didn't really yet know how to pull it off). When I shot Aimee's scene with Taryn Thomas, in an Encino hot tub, there was danger of a semen flood on set.

Jessica Jaymes appears in the poolside scene with Hannah, Danny Pape and Kaylani Lei. I adore Jessica. She is just stunning, and she is also very sharp, and quite tender. I met her when I cast her for a movie a produced right after Call Girl Wives, entitled Sexual Suspects. She and I hit it off, and I remember one night at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, she was having a rough night so I played the piano for her and she really appreciated it. I mean, it was really no big deal for me, but she was flattered that I had pulled her aside and spent some time with her in that way. She plays the piano as well, and I suppose there's something in between the notes that you play and those that you don't which speaks to other musicians -- especially when one of them is a sexy woman who's constantly fielding come-ons and insults. That night she definitely fit the description of the girl in Elvis Costello's song, Beyond Belief: "Charged with insults and flattery/Her body moves with malice." She said she knew me much better after hearing me play, and I think she's right. It's a deeply intimate form of communication.

Michael Whiteacre said...

When it came time to shoot her one day on Busty Cops: Back In Time/Call Girl Daughters (yes, ONE day. She didn't have an ego which would prevent her from taking small roles) she was more than a bit under the weather from some drinking she had done the night before. Still, she didn't want to disappoint me or leave me stuck, so she came. She was so ill when we shot that she had a bucket beside her on the chaise lounge into which she would vomit between takes. But she kept going and she looked incredible. It's a genetic thing, I guess. She said she did it because I'd played the piano for her. Finally, all those lessons paid off.

Lexi Marie was a worthless individual. She would not take direction, she drank several beers every day -- at least three before 11:00 am, one time she drank the prop wine coolers in between takes (wreaking havoc with the continuity), she smoked on set -- even between takes, she could not do dialogue, she was belligerent, and she was one of the single stupidest people I've ever met. Even worse, she considered it a badge of honor. She told me that she didn't have to be smart because she was THAT HOT. Every time we reached a line of dialogue with a big word in it, she would get confused and we'd have to give the line to another girl to say. She couldn't figure out what the line "hang him out to dry" meant, nor could she even say it. I hate her still. If she were drowning, I'd put a hose in her mouth.

To me, she represented everything that was wrong with the production. She looked good on paper, but in practice, in person, she was a nightmare -- a completely unworkable problem. I had no control over who was hired. I'd wanted Friday for the role of the third Busty Cop, but that was shot down. Lexi was hired without anybody ever checking whether she could do dialogue. No one watched her recent movies (she was new in the business, and had recently been made a Vivid contract girl). She was the epitome of the 22 year old skinny stripper who thinks, "I've got a great boob job, so everything else will fall into place." As much as I couldn't stand her, I pitied her. I remember telling her, "Don't you realize, there is no 30 year old version of you? It doesn't exist. Anyone who tolerates you now does so because you're a 20-something piece of arm candy. Unless you wise up, at 29 -- you're done. You'll just disappear."

I don't like the behind-the-scenes camera; I see it as a distraction. The last thing I need to be thinking about is whether I'm scratching my fucking nose while I'm trying to make a movie. I don't really like being on camera, period. I've done plenty of interviews for TV -- VH1: Behind The Music, and The E! True Hollywood Story, to name a couple, and I look all right, and I sound all right, but I don't enjoy doing it. It's not something I've ever strived for -- being on camera. Consequently, I told the behind-the-scenes cameraman to not shoot me. I made one exception -- the cameras were rolling when Lexi, the production manager, the cameraman, and others were in a huddle with me while shooting in Little Armenia (Hollywood and Normandie). I was explaining to Lexi how I wanted her to do a particular thing on camera. I said, "Now, I don't want this to sound condescending -- which means to talk down to you -- but . . ." and I continued my description, as Lexi stared back, blissfully ignorant of what I had just done, and the crew literally bit their lips to keep from laughing. Shortly after we shot our movie, Vivid dropped Lexi. Good riddance to bad rubbish, and may she never darken our respective doorsteps again.

Michael Whiteacre said...

The wonderful Monica Sweetheart was terribly underused in the party scene. I used to take her and her roommate, Sue Diamond, out for dinner and drinks in Woodland Hills, near their pad. The geographical proximity was no coincidence, friends. I'd wanted Sue for the movies as well, but she'd gone back to the Czech Republic. Britney Starr also figured prominently in my cut of the party scene. It was originally a raucous '80s party, with much drug use in evidence. When I arrived on set (at Seymore Butts' house), I was told that the band who was appearing in the scene would only do so if I shot a music video for them that day as well(!), so DE had agreed to it. Sure, no problem. So, I enlisted Britney to be the star of the video, and she was very very hot.

Monica Mayhem and Nikki Benz also worked that night. Nikki was very quiet, and Monica looked unsure as to what was expected of her. Some girls go with the flow, but she seemed like she needed some guidance, and I was otherwise occupied with the chaos of the night's shoot. I managed to pull of a camera trick which was inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's The Rope, but that sequence is missing from the new cut as well. We had only enough lights and extras to use in one room at a time, so I had Joaquin Rome, who is a big, tall fellow, stand at the edge of frame wearing a black shirt, with his back to the camera. As we dollied by him, I used that as a point at which to do a matched dissolve into the next shot, which began at his black shirt, and dollied on into the next room, which had now been lit and filled with re-dresed extras. That night, the wonderful Nicky Hunter brightened my day by stopping by to meet me in person and pick up her script for Call Girl Daughters, where she essayed the role of "Tara the Crackwhore."

Layla Jade was actually a last-minute replacement for Amanda Auclair. I think Amanda was annoyed that I'd given her what she thought was an insignificant role, after having her as the lead in my previous movies. I had planned to shoot in such a way that it was quite pivotal, but I had bigger things to worry about than her ego at that point -- and that's coming from someone who absolutely loved Amanda. She was very special to me. But, the problems before me were so overwhelming, I was simply not available to re-assure her. I've introduced you to her, Doc, and I'm sure its not difficult for you to imagine her as rather feisty.

Layla, however, did not require such a degree of relationship maintenance. I'd known her since she first came to America, and had already cast her as the Madam in Call Girl Daughters. Layla was wonderful, and a hard-worker, and she actually stood up for me. She said she was horrified by the mood on set, and she stuck up for me. She told anyone who complained over something trivial to shut up and just be glad they were working.

Michael Whiteacre said...

I just looked it up, and found out that Lexi Marie was only 19 when she appeared in this movie. Not only was it illegal for her to be drinking on set, it was also a grave insurance risk. I've never allowed drinking on set, until we wrap. Then: drink 'em if you got 'em -- and I'll join you.

Lexi drank everything that wasn't nailed down. When we shot at Seymore Butts' house, she actually snuck her drink on camera. It was in her hand, and she was trying to hide it behind a bar. I stepped out from behind the camera and grabbed it out of her hand.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Girls, Girls, Girls. How many porn stars do you know? If I were to peek in your cell phone address book would there be a separate group listing for them all? It is a mighty list indeed. Honestly, a lot of the ladies you mentioned I've never heard of but rest assured I am now taking the time to get acquainted with them thanks to the power of the internet.

Of course I've heard of a lot of them too. Nikki Nova is raging hot. I do agree that she was posing for the camera a lot less in this movie. That's good direction right there. I have complained in other reviews about her inner super model taking over with her incessantly striking a pose during her sex scenes. Not so in this movie. She kept her eyes focused on where they belong. On the other naked women of course.

That's too bad that Amanda was not in the Busty Cops adventure but Layla Jade gave the couch a good workout. The party/orgy scene was a good one. I don't think I recognized Nikki Benz in that scene. I may have to watch it again. Mari Possa brought the decadence to the party. You don't see rear end loving from a pigtail wearing girl in most softcore flicks. She was the standout.

Though I must say you have some pretty harsh words for Lexi Marie. You usually give people the benefit of the doubt but to read your complete evisceration of this person feels like you are boiling over as you write it. Was it really that bad? Can you hate someone even just knowing them for 8-10 days? One thing is for certain. You need to have input on casting decisions because if the chemistry is wrong with you, there may just be an explosion.

Michael Whiteacre said...

Well, first of all, I think that, in a sex scene, the participants should be looking at each other, not at the camera, and not off into space. I like to see eye contact between the performers. You can see that aplenty in the Nikki/Jelena Hannah/Aimee scene, for instance. I don't know why people shoot scenes where the girls are smiling or laughing in bed. Do you like seeing a woman laughing and grinning while you're making love to her? I know it's not high on my list. I think a look of lust and passion is more appropriate.

How many women do I know? I don't know, Doc -- a lot. It's not only my business, it's my hobby. I like women. And when you're in proximity to adult film stars and centerfolds, that's who you end up spending your private time with. It's not something I've strived for, it's really just proximity creating opportunity.

Nikki Benz is in the party scene at Finkel's house, doing a bit with Britney Starr and Hannah, believe. Their scene has a reddish hue.

Can you really hate someone knowing them only a few days? Yes. But I'm hardly boiling over as I write this stuff; I'm less angry than utterly baffled. I still do not understand how creatures like the exasperating Lexi Marie exist, or how their brains can generate enough power to make them walk and talk. It's a mystery to me. It's like something out of a zombie movie: she's ambulatory, but there's no intellect. There's only some form of low-grade consciousness, very primitive cognition, and a clutch of primal instincts and urges. She's not a performer one would hire in order to extend the boundaries of the art beyond the limits of mere urgency. You won't find any subtlety or poetry in her. The whole experience of meeting and working with her still confounds me. Perhaps I should begin a treatise on the anthropology of her. Maybe turn it into a rock opera.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

I just want to bugger every chick in the movie.

Michael Whiteacre said...

To the sneering (homo-phobic) snob: I have followed your frequently hilarious comments on other blogs, and I want to thank you for joining in here. You just don't hear enough buggery comments these days, if you ask me.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

Michael, do you know Cherry Poppins, Demi Marx, Melissa lauren, or patricia petit? and if so have you ever been lucky enough to bugger them or spunk in their gobs?, if you do know them maybe you could tell them that "the sneering (homo-phobic) snob" would like to spend the rest of his life performing every sex act in the known universe on them.

Michael Whiteacre said...

I don't know any of them well, but I've certainly met two of them (Demi and Melissa). Should I run into any of them during my upcoming casting, I will direct them to your comment. You have fine taste, Sir.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

You mean theres an outside possibility that those four incredible little sexpots might appear in the next film that you make.

Michael Whiteacre said...

I don't know about all four, but there's a decent chance that Melissa might, since I'd like to work with her. Stay tuned.

Anonymous said...

Nice review . Do you know where can i find this movie to download ?

Thanks in advance.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

But what of "Call Girl Daughters"? Is there a chance it could meet the same fate as Busty Cops? Or was there not enough footage? But then again why should that stop it from happening? They could always throw in some scenes from "Lust Eternal" to make up the difference. Or maybe that was a different production company.

Michael Whiteacre said...

It's a little complicated. With "Busty Cops: Back In Time" and "Call Girl Daughters" it was the same production company, but the rights vested differently - in a different proportion -- between that company and mine vis a vis those projects. Also, the "Call Girl Daughters" script was entirely mine, while the Busty Cops script was largely mine, although based upon an original script written by someone else. Also, DE owned the Busty Cops franchise, having already produced two Busty Cops movies. "Lust Eternal" was shot a month earlier, in February 2005 for a different company. DE never owned that footage, although it had been stored for a time at the editing facility where DE's movies were being mangled. To the best of my knowledge the successors of DE do not have the "Lust Eternal" material.

Michael Whiteacre said...

I don't know. I had cocktails with the lovely and insanely talented Kimberly Kane the other night, and worse comes to worst, I'll shoot a new movie with the same key cast. That's show biz. I won't have yo work too hard to match "Busty Cops Go Hawaiian" (which I hear has already been shot).

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Kimberly Kane, Sasha Grey and Belladonna would make an interesting counterpoint to the Busty Cops. Although I prefer busty women, (Julie Smith, Nikki Fritz etc), those three are some of the more hardcore women out there. Nikki Noire is another good one. And I agree it's probably not going to be too hard to compete with the Busty Cops on their Hawaiian vacation. Unless Amanda is in it. She can raise the busty stakes.

D Hammontree said...

Mr Whitacre:

I don't know why people shoot scenes where the girls are smiling or laughing in bed. Do you like seeing a woman laughing and grinning while you're making love to her? I know it's not high on my list. I think a look of lust and passion is more appropriate.

I'm not a moviemaker or anything - just one fan, and I'm sure I'm in the minority opinion on this one, but I couldn't disagree more. I really prefer a more light-hearted tone in sex scenes - smiling and laughing makes everything more accessible and fun. Nothing turns me off more than all the leaden, deadly seriousness with which most softcore sex scenes are filmed (not yours per se, I just mean in general). And I mean, it's an active, aggressive, often channel-flipping, fast-forwarding turnoff for me.

Passionate lust and fun aren't incompatible - quite the opposite. They're quite a powerful combination when done right.

I say this in all earnest respect. Obviously, you're a filmmaker, and I'm just some guy. I know that mine is just one fan's opinion. But this is something I've had occasion to think about more than once, unfortunately. Anyway, thanks for listening. :)

Michael Whiteacre said...

I'm glad you raised the issue again, for, upon review of my comments, I wished I had provided myself more wiggle room. (What a surprise, I need more space to flesh out my thoughts and opinions!)

What I should have said is, in my particular genre, as opposed to the "sexy romp" genre, I think it's important to keep the scenes more "sexual" and less "whimsical" and "rompish" (if the latter is actually a word). That's because, generally, the storylines of my movies are light enough that they actually need something akin to dramatic relief (or "passion relief") when it comes to the sex scenes. Outside of that, perhaps I should look inward, and try to channel my younger self in order to inject an element which I freely admit my movies lack. I shall take your comment under advisement.

D Hammontree said...

Mr. Whitacre:

Thanks a bunch for reading and responding to my post. I suspect I may have overstated things a bit - I didn't mean to suggest veering into "rompage" territory in the sex scenes. If "sex farce" is at 10, then what I have in my mind is probably around a 2 or 3. Playful enjoyment more than goofiness, I guess.

I definitely take your point about the counterpointing nature of sex scenes, and how this plays out differently in a comedy compared to more ostensibly serious efforts like "erotic thrillers". The two scenes with Aimee Sweet in BC:P&S are themselves framed in a light way already, and that combined with her breeziness makes those scenes fantastic.

I guess I was just expressing the opinion that "in the throes of passion" and "having a fun time" are very blendable tones. Again, thanks for listening. :)

eric said...

Hey there Michael had no idea about all the shit that went down on busty cops 3, and what became of it. I have 2 quick questions who is the blonde chick in the opening scene of bc3. And in the big orgy scene i just want you to confirm that i got this all correct as far as the women in the scene. Hannah Harper, Lexi Marie, Mari Possa, Monica Mayhem, Nikki Benz, and Britney Star. And while I was watching this on cinemax, i could have swore that Mari Possa was Kelli Brown. If you don't know who that is google her, she also was in the movie The Casino Job but was credited as Deanna Minerva.

Michael Whiteacre said...

Hi Eric,

The opening scene of "Busty Cops: Protect and Serve!" was not shot by me -- it was tacked on by Jim Wynorski when he prepared the move for release (I shot TWO movies in 2005 - parts one & two. Jim removed the plot and condensed them into one. My movie (part one) opened with a long shot panning across a room full of clocks a la "Back To The Future," and then settled on Nikki Nova in bed, sleeping in the same position as Michael J. Fox/Marty McFly. Jim cut out the clocks and instead inserted a "dream sequence" leading in to Nikki waking up).

I don't own a copy of the released, abridged movie, but I recall that the scene was lifted from the Jan/Feb 2004 Hawaii shoot (some of which became "Nikki Nova: Sex On The Beach"), and was directed by Jonathan Morgan. The cast of that movie included Katie James (Angela Little) from the first two "Busty Cops" movies, as well as Cheyenne Silver, Nikki Nova, Aria Giovanni and possibly Kelle Marie and Deanna Merryman as well (they were there on that shoot, and may be in it). Angela, Deanna and Kelle are all blondes, Cheyenne is dirty-blonde. I hope that helps.

As for the orgy scene, here's everyone I remember: Hannah Harper and Lexi Marie (two of the three Busty Cops), plus Nikki Benz, Britney Star and Monica Mayhem (the scene with a reddish hue) and Mari Possa (the stuff with Lexi. Mari is in pigtails). Monica Sweetheart may also be seen briefly, at the end of the scene, and probably elsewhere in the background of the party.

Of the girls in that scene, my favorites to work with were Hannah, Monica (though terribly underused), Mari and Britney. Monica was very nice but ill at ease, Nikki was absolutely dull and expressionless, as if all capacity for human expression had been botoxed away -- plus she turned in a really low-energy performance. And Lexi was, as I wrote earlier, a worthless, despicable excuse for a human being. Her only good scene in the movie is with Mari, and it all had to do with Mari.

I only met Mari Possa that night, and, outside of her XXX work with Seymore Butts (to whom she is now married), I am unaware of her other credits. That said, she doesn't much look like Deanna Minerva to me, but I'm no expert.

Cheers,

MW

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Thanks for the response Mr. Whiteacre.

I just noticed that "Busty Cops: Protect and Serve!" is back on cable on demand. I shall look closely at the orgy scene again for a more thorough examination of the ladies. I shall be fast forwarding through most of Lexi Marie's scenes, (with the obvious exception of her rear end romance scene with Mari which needs to be seen multiple times).

Michael Whiteacre said...

No problem, Doc.

I just realized my last post is a little confusing vis-a-vis the TWO Monicas in "BC: PAS!"

The Monica I really enjoyed having on set was my friend, Monica Sweetheart. Monica Mayhem, whom I was anxious to have in the movie, and who is a very nice person, was nonetheless ill at ease that evening. I didn't have enough time to really illustrate to her what I wanted from her in the scene, and had to, essentially, just throw her in.

It had been a rough evening, with many production problems, many of them centering around Nikki Nova not feeling well. We were forced to tear down our lighting and start from scratch twice, because we had lit for scenes which required Nikki, who was suddenly unavailable. That took a toll on our schedule. Plus Lexi was drinking, as usual, and even brought her drink on camera at least once.

This was also my first day working with the actor who played Frank Finkel, and he was a prick, plain and simple. He refused to be directed, insisted on doing his role in FDR's voice (and with that telescopic cigarette holder) after I had vetoed the idea in pre-production, and then he just chewed the scenery. No one would back me up on how I wanted him to do his role, so I just decided then and there to downplay his participation in the movie.

At least I found what I think is a funny way to use the cigarette holder he insisted on using -- it's the visual gag which I think remains in the final film, where the 3 Busty Cops have to flinch and duck to get out of the way of his cigarette swinging by them at the opening of the party scene.

This was also the night where one of the movie's writers (a professional screenwriter friend of mine who had written a bunch of material for me as a favor) stopped by -- and started pointing to changes I had made in the script and complaining. Just what I needed!

MW

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

You'll be happy to know that the cigarette ducking scene did make it into the final butchered version of "Busty Cops: PAS." I was going to ask about Frank Finkel and his hammy ways. But since he wasn't a hot naked woman I decided to let it go.

Although we've discussed this before, (see comments above), it is truly amazing at the number of egos that clashed, collided, and otherwise butted heads on this movie. Even Frank Finkel gets an attitude.

I'm not sure who your screenwriter friend is but he must have been on other movie sets before and probably should have been a little more sympathetic to your plight. But you know how writers are. They hate to be rewritten. Even a choregraphed orgy scene couldn't placate him.

All of this drama and trauma leads to the conclusion that you had no friends on this production. You thought you had allies but they had already switched sides. Filming started with high hopes but turned into an all night body cavity search by the Busty Cops without a glove. Up the ying yang with Lexi's beer bottle. As Marlon Brando once gasped, The horror...

Michael Whiteacre said...

Eric -- I finally looked at the thing, and the blonde performer in the opening scene is Kelle Marie.