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Sunday, September 20, 2009

"Jennifer's Body" review


Jennifer's Body (2009)

Director: Karyn Kusama
Writer: Diablo Cody

Megan Fox ... Jennifer Check
Amanda Seyfried ... Needy Lesnicky
Johnny Simmons ... Chip
Adam Brody ... Nikolai Wolf
J.K. Simmons... Mr. Wroblewski
Amy Sedaris... Needy's Mom

Jennifer, (Megan Fox), is having boy trouble. She needs to keep eating them or she will die. A horrific fire serves as the catalyst that allows a demon to possess her. Megan Fox is a succubus. Not surprisingly, many men happily follow her to their doom. Her BFF, (Amanda Seyfried), starts to realize that there might be something amiss with her hot friend after she shows up at her house drenched in blood. Dead bodies start piling up in their small town as Jennifer uses her body as bait so she can chow down on the horny high school guys. Only a true best friend can stop Jennifer's evil.

I walked into this movie with one hope, one dream for "Jennifer's Body" to fulfill. I dreamed of a scene where they linger over Jennifer's naked body. It is with profound sadness that I have to tell you that there are no Megan Fox nude scenes in this movie. This is clearly the most obvious error in the film. The title promises Jennifer's body yet they do not deliver it. For shame. There was one scene where she was swimming topless in a lake, (not sure why but who cares), and she slowly pulls herself out of the water. The camera veers away from any of the interesting Fox parts so that we don't see too much of Jennifer's body. Why couldn't there have been a scene where she stretches out on the dock and does some topless sun bathing? Where is Jennifer's Body when I needed it?

So without salacious scenes of Megan Fox's nubile body, what else does this movie have to offer? There are a couple of bloody scenes as Jennifer tears open a few necks but nothing too gory to get excited about. "Jennifer's Body" is not scary enough to be an effective horror movie and it isn't funny enough to be a comedy. So what exactly is it? It's a Megan Fox vehicle disguised as a Diablo Cody high school fantasy. I can't believe that there weren't any characters named Juno in this movie. I was expecting to see a pregnant girl get bitten and say something witty while she's dying like "but I just drank my weight in Sunny D". It's never too early to start referencing your own work.

But let's discuss what's really important here. What is it about Megan Fox? Is Megan Fox just a younger version of Angelina Jolie? No she isn't. She's a young Megan Fox and we must cherish these precious moments that we have with her. "Jennifer's Body" gives us a lot of sexy scenes of Megan but they're just not lascivious enough for me. If they had put a prolonged Fox nude scene in this movie, the box office gross would have tripled. If Amanda Seyfried had joined in, it would have quadrupled. If there was a prolonged lesbian scene between the two, the sky would have been the limit. You have to think about the exploitation potential that a horror movie has to offer. Well, you don't have to but I like to.

Overall, "Jennifer's Body" is a fair movie. It's got sexy girls making bloody messes so it can't be all bad. It's trying to be a little different than the average horror flick but ends up being just another piece of Hollywood product off of the assembly line. It was designed for Megan Fox to strut her stuff and in that respect it succeeds.

One last thought, the best scene in the movie is the one that saved "Jennifer's Body" for me. Jennifer shows up at her friend's house to tell her the truth about her demonic demeanor. But first, they have to kiss hello. The camera goes into extreme close-up so we can enjoy every subtle nuance of two pretty girls kissing. This scene was magical. This is a brilliant example of how to film women kissing each other. Concentrate on the lips and you can't go wrong. As you may know, this is what girls do when they're alone. Oh yes. It's true. This beautiful scene helped save "Jennifer's Body". I wasn't sure how I was going to rate this one until Megan Fox and her lips saved the day. Now, it's worth a look.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 Jennifer's kisses

And Jennifer's Body

8 comments:

Michael Whiteacre said...

Yes, Doc, Megan and Amanda (either one) fleeing some flying flaming skulls in the nude would have made this one better. I was very disappointed.

The most damning thing you have to say here is that even a simple self-referential joke would have made this a better movie. I find it incredible and hilarious that girls (note, I didn't say "actresses") who are more famous for posing in Maxim than anything else can topline a movie like this without providing the moviegoers with what they have come to see -- and that which the title and advertising hint at: her body. At least the new Friday the 13th delivered on that count -- AND had a couple of good actors to boot.

Watching this movie, I kept hoping for shots of Megan's weird thumbs to break the boredom.

J.R. LeMar said...

Eh. I'll pass. I may catch it on cable someday, but not going to go see it or rent. I personally find Megan Fox to be very overrated.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Much like the magazine itself, Maxim girls bring the tease.

Other than the kissing scene, "Jennifer's Body" doesn't deliver much in the way of good clean exploitative fun. I don't think it was asking too much of a demonically possessed high school girl flick to show a little more skin on Jennifer's evil body.

Not the exploitation classic I was hoping for but it's still watchable. Fox has the brunette look that drives me crazy even if she's shy about showing off all of her assets.

Alan Winart said...

i bet Megan Fox's popularity will shrivel down to almost nothing within the next few months; better than average looks can only get you so far

JT said...

This would have been a good rental. Other than that.....

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

I want to bugger Megan Fox and A-girl-da Seyfried.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

Dr. gore, megan Fox is 24 today which means shes already 6 years past the absolute pinnacle and peak of her physical attractiveness and desirability, now thats bloody scary. By the way, i still want to bugger her senseless but i just wish she was 18 instead of 24.

Dr. Gore said...

Happy Birthday Megan Fox!

24 years of Megan Fox. Soon I will be admiring her 24-year old body in "Jonah Hex". Looks like another winner in the Megan Fox oeuvre.