Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"The Final Destination" review

The Final Destination (2009)

Director: David R. Ellis
Writers: Eric Bress Jeffrey Reddick

Bobby Campo... Nick O'Bannon
Shantel VanSanten... Lori Milligan
Nick Zano... Hunt Wynorski
Haley Webb... Janet Cunningham
Mykelti Williamson... George Lanter
Krista Allen... MILF / Samantha
Andrew Fiscella... Mechanic
Justin Welborn... Carter Daniels
Stephanie Honore... Mechanic's Girlfriend

I met my friends at the Mann Chinese 6 in Hollywood to see a double feature. "The Final Destination" followed by "Halloween 2". It just felt like the right thing to do. While standing around waiting for our friend to get off the train, my other friend wondered if we should have gotten the D-Box tickets. I had no idea what he was talking about. "The girl at the box office didn't ask you if you wanted the D-box?" he asked. No, what is a D-Box ticket? "It's the movie theater chair that shakes as you watch the movie." My God, that sounds amazing. Bring me to the D-box!

After much thoughtful consideration, we decided to go ahead and pay the premium for the D-Box. If ever there was a time to feel your movie chair rattle and roll, it had to be at a 3-D horror movie. The side of the chair has a control bar that lets you turn up the juice to eleven or dim it down to nothing. Why you'd turn it off after paying for the ticket is unknown. Needless to say, we all had our chairs pumped up to maximum destruction level and prayed that it would send us flying out of our seats.

A guy has a premonition that everyone he knows is going to die. While watching a car race, he sees visions of death and destruction. His Final Destination is in front of his eyes. While he's watching the cars whiz around the track, my D-box chair is having a heart attack and leaning back and forth as flying metal spins into my face. He tells his friends it's time to leave before Death shows up. He becomes the hero of the moment as his vision ends up saving a lot of lives. But soon he begins to suspect that Death is upset with him for thwarting his grim reaper efforts. Various survivors don't survive for long as Death has macabre plans for all of them. My chair had a diabolical mind of its own as it shook my bones for most of the movie.

I enjoyed "The Final Destination". I'm not sure how much my vibrating chair played into my enjoyment but I had a good time nonetheless. The movie plays out exactly as you hope it would. You know people have a date with Death and Death does not like being stood up. Krista Allen is credited as MILF and gets cut down in her MILF prime. One guy loses a fight with a swimming pool drain and a tow truck driver wonders why can't we be friends. There are a few other ghoulish deaths to revel in as well.

"The Final Destination" plays to fans of the series. You want to watch people futilely try to escape their inevitable death and that's what you get. The success of these movies is based on how outlandish a demise the filmmakers can dream up for the characters to suffer through. There are some gruesome deaths here to enjoy which were aided with the help of 3-D glasses and, in my case, a rocking movie chair.

One last thought, there was one missed golden opportunity with the D-Box experience. There was one sex scene in the movie and the chair did not rock up and down. That would have been hilarious if the chair had kept time with the coitus. My electric chair let me down. The D-Box needs some carnal knowledge.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 rocking D-box chairs

1 comment:

JT said...

The D-Box experience seems like it kicked ass!
We had a double feature of this and Halloween 2 as well, but in reverse. We went to the employee showing the night before the two opened in theaters. (I work at a local cinema) We started the movies around 12:50 am and ended up getting out around 5:15 am. (good times)
The audience watching the 3D movie made me laugh my ass off. They were violently reacting to the 3D from the movie. Bad Acting rocks....kina
I still don't like the CG body parts and blood. It's still SyFy channel tacky.