Sunday, March 05, 2006

"Emmanuelle vs Dracula" review

Emmanuelle vs. Dracula (2004)

Directed by KLS

Writing credits Rafael Glenn

Natasja Vermeer .... Emmanuelle
Beverly Lynne .... Mary
Kelsey .... Susan
Mollie Green .... Lucy

I saw this on cable the other night. Vampires invade a party. Emmanuelle gets suspicious. Since she is worldlier than the other girls, she knows what these undead studs are up to. Why, they want to have sex with the women! Shocking! After the girls have been with the vamps, they turn into vampire women. You'll know they're vampires by the amount of lipstick and eyeliner they use. It has to be heavy if you want to be a vampire babe. Emmanuelle must make a desperate, last ditch attempt to save her friends and the movie by finally having sex with someone. It's too late Emmanuelle.

"Emmanuelle vs. Dracula". That is a powerful B-movie title. It had a lot to live up to. It failed miserably. Here's another attempt to be cleverer than the movie needs to be. All of the sex scenes are edited in a blender. The camera can't stay still for five seconds. Although I've probably seen Beverly Lynne have more sex than I need to, it would have been nice if the camera would have stopped moving for a second and concentrate on her. The star of the show, Emmanuelle, doesn't even have sex until the last ten minutes! This is Emmanuelle? What the heck is she waiting for? The credits to start rolling? The worst part is her sex scene wasn't even that good.

Ahh, whatever. Another late night disaster. Skip this one. There are better Emmanuelle movie out there to be seen. A lot better.


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