Friday, April 10, 2009

"The Midnight Meat Train" review

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

Director: Ryûhei Kitamura
Writers: Jeff Buhler Clive Barker

Bradley Cooper ... Leon
Leslie Bibb ... Maya
Brooke Shields ... Susan Hoff
Vinnie Jones ... Mahogany
Barbara Eve Harris ... Detective Lynn Hadley
Peter Jacobson ... Otto
Stephanie Mace ... Leigh Cooper
Ted Raimi ... Randle Cooper
Nora ... Erika Sakaki
Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson ... Guardian Angel

A photographer sets out to capture a shot of the real city. He's been criticized for running from danger so he decides to head out into the night to see what kind of trouble he can get into. It doesn't take long before he stumbles upon a mysterious butcher that likes to ride the subway train all night. The butcher is stalking his prey so he can turn the subway into a meat train. A midnight meat train if you will. Heads are crushed and eyes are gouged as the butcher goes about his business of preparing the meat for delivery. The photographer tries to convince someone that there's a madman loose in the subway but no one will listen to his insane ramblings. He knows he has to go all the way and follow the meat train to the end of the line.

I read this Clive Barker story many years ago and always thought it would make a cool movie. If nothing else, I wanted to see the words "Midnight Meat Train" on a movie theater marquee. I actually did get to see that as "Midnight Meat Train" played (very) briefly in one theater before shuffling off to video stores. I'm not sure why it didn't play in more theaters as it's a solid horror flick.

"Midnight Meat Train" is a fun, gory ride. It had everything I wanted in a mad butcher on a subway train movie. The butcher had a large bag of tricks to unleash on anyone foolish enough to be riding the subway at midnight. The meat train was soaked with blood and guts by the time it reached it's destination.

There's just something gratifying about watching a movie called "The Midnight Meat Train". Only horror fans would even think about checking this movie out. You know you're in good company. I had a good time watching the butcher go about his bloody business. It's worth a look.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 midnight butchers


the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

dr. gore, you`re right this is a superb film, one of the best horror films of recent years in fact i`d have given it 3 and a half out of 4, however there were a couple of things that almost spoilt it for me, i wonder if you can guess what they were?, well, at the end of the film when all the cadavers are hanging in the train why couldn`t they all have been nude dead birds instead of what looked like a combination of dead birds and geezers, as i`ve said before on this site i only want to see nude birds in horror films not bloody geezers (whether the birds in question are alive or not, as long as they are nude birds and only nude birds), Dead nude birds are just as much of a turn on for me as living nude birds and thats all i want to see in horror films "GORGEOUS NUDE BIRDS SURROUNDED BY INCREDIBLE GORY SPECIAL EFFECTS, AND NO BLOODY GEEZERS" when will the people who make these films finally learn that heterosexual geezers like us only want to see nude birds in horror movies. The other thing that almost spoilt the film for me was the casting of that british scum vinnie jones as the bad geezer, why couldn`t they have got an american actor to play the part, but as i said aside from those 2 problems this was a truly magnificent horror movie, but just imagine how much better it would have been if it had been made my way.

Dr. Gore ( said...

Your way sounds good to me. I was thinking the butcher should have stalked larger women. Maybe a scene where he passes over a thin woman to concentrate on a more healthy lady. A little meat on the bone for the hungry creatures at the end of the line. I think a line of voluptuous women hanging upside down on the meat train would have been a splendid sight.

Vinnie Jones was miscast as the Butcher. The fact that he is so recognizable from various Guy Ritchie flicks makes the mysterious butcher seem a lot less mysterious. I would have preferred an unknown in that role.

thebonebreaker said...

I still say this was the best horror film of last year, hands down!

Glad you liked it Doc!

Anonymous said...

You really need to review cannibal the musical next.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

dr. gore, i know this is also something i`ve mentioned before but i think its worth repeating, in your comment you gave the impression that you`ve been wasting your time watching british made crap, could you stop doing this please, just stay with american movies they will never let you down. British films are unwatchable abominations and should be avoided like the plague.

Anonymous said...

This is the dumbest movie ever. It's so predictable, unrealistic and just plain stupid. What a waste of time! I would have had more pleasure in taking a dump.

Dr. Gore ( said...

While there can be immense pleasures derived from taking a satisfying dump, I think "Midnight Meat Train" might have a little more value than riding the bowl. Although I can certainly think of other horror movies that deserve to get flushed away. But the meat train is not one of them.

Anonymous said...

so yeah this was pretty much the most nastiest, sickist and unrealistic movie i've seen! who in the right mind would create such a gay movie! honestly, i soooo was disapointed in this film. it had a great plot and story line but all the crap that was un neccasary madeit completely retarded. really...

Dr. Gore ( said...

I would think that being nasty and sick would be a positive attribute for a horror movie. Better than being boring and trite. "Midnight Meat Train" has an outrageously sick idea and does the best it can. Not a perfect horror flick for sure but still pretty satisfying given the current crop of horror movies.

Guts and Gory said...

At first I thought this was going to be an awesome movie as a serial killer based psychological horror. I thought the reserved mysterious character of the butcher was brilliant and Leon's building obsession with him but I was disappointed to see it take the ridiculous monsters with OTT final battle scene route. If this had carried on with Leon's spiral into paranoia and left the killer completely myserious as to his origins etc this could've been great.

Anonymous said...

lionsgate fucked clive over on the release, so he took the film and made it available on comcasts fearnet. com for free just so everyone could get a taste. Great movie, great effects. Love Ted Rami and his flying eyeball.

Anonymous said...

anonymous said_ who would create such an unrealistic gay movie....well a gay producer was behind the scenes-clive barker. I am respectful of his sexual identity. I was surpised to hear this revelation during the extra features section when he is explaining his love for art. All these years i never thought of the creator of hellraiser and pinhead to be gay. Interesting thats all. I thought the movie was very entertaining. good horror movie. fun ride on the train.

Pearce said...

When I mentioned to the hot, horror-loving receptionist at work that I'd just rented this flick, she asked if it was gay porn.

Dr. Gore ( said...

"Midnight Meat Train" would make for a good horror porn title. Although I'm concerned that this horror loving receptionist didn't know about this movie's existence. Not overly concerned mind you, but I like to think that hot horror fans know their favorite genre.

Mike T. said...

Wow, what a redundant and ridiculous rant on dead birds vs. geezers by "the sneering snob." Buddy, if you get turned on by butchered and bloody females and vicariously live out fantasies via Barker films, you're clearly out of your mind and I'm glad you're in the UK. Anyhow, if you dig blood, may as well do yourself and everyone else a favor by taking off your own head.

This movie was really not that great btw, very nice cinematography but terrible tongue in cheek effects, weak character dev, unrealistic decision-making by all of the lead characters, and worst of all a "reveal" twist ending fit for a Shyamalan film. Paranormal activity is just one better recomm. for a horror/suspense film without the perversion and idiocy of this movie. What else could one expect from Barker and Lion's Gate though?

Anonymous said...

I love to see this movie on DVD is it true it is R18 rated. I am turning 18 in four months but dad said I can not buy it or own it until I'm 26 years old i want that DVD when I turn 18 this year what should I. Do midnight meat train is the movie I love so much