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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

"The Exhibitionist Files" review


The Exhibitionist Files (2002)

Directed by Tom Lazarus
Writing credits L.L. Thomaso

Nikita Cash.... Diane (as Nikita Kash)
Drake Dorado.... Mark
Flower.... Della (as Flower Edwards)
Catalina Larranaga.... Lisa

I saw this on cable the other day. Catalina Larranaga is the super hot doctor researching some exhibitionists. She's creating the Exhibitionist files. She talks to them, they talk into the camera, Catalina talks into the camera and basically everyone keeps talking and talking until I passed out cold. "The Exhibitionist Files" makes the same fatal mistake that "Married People: Single Sex" makes: Too much talking! They've think they've hit on some universal truth and want to hammer it to death. Yes, people like to have other people watch them have sex, be naked and generally act naughty. So skin flick performers are exhibitionists and the viewers are all voyeurs. OK. I'm a voyeur and you're an exhibitionist. Glad to meet you. Now can we please start exhibiting something interesting?

I think I counted a grand total of two sex scenes. Catalina has sex with a guy on a couch and some other hot chick gets it on in a parking lot. Other than that, it is just one lost soul after another confessing everything to Dr. Catalina. I finally went insane when they had one guy tell Catalina about how he likes to go to massage parlors and have the women look at him as he touches himself. People please! Stop! No more! I don't want to know! Keep it to yourself man!

The only good thing about this one was Catalina Larranaga. She's got that great Mediterranean look we all know and love: Long dark hair with dark skin, etc. She had some hot outfits on in this one. She wore a couple of tight fitting turtlenecks and some nice suits. Just the fact that I have to praise her wardrobe gives you an idea of the amount of nudity in this skin flick. Close this Exhibitionist file immediately.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 wasted sessions

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I saw this movie and think your review misses the point, somewhat. This film was an attempt at satisfying one particular segment of the viewing public and I celebrate it for that.

Your review is basically this: not enough action! However, this is a soft porn flick. The action will always, therefore, leave us wanting more. That's part of the definition, really. If you are going to do a soft-porn, you should, in my opinion, try to do something a bit different and give something that more explicit flicks can't or won't give us.

In The Exhibitionist Files that something is not only the fantasy of performing exhibitionist acts ourselves, but also a slower, more cerebral, tempo and atmosphere accomplished by more dialogue, yes, but also with greater emphasis on acting than most movies in this genre.

Because of this, I found the movie more satisfying than most porn flicks, hard or soft.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Well, first let me say how nice it is to get an intelligent response to my review. Usually I get the,

"Dear Dr Gore,

You're an idiot!"

response. Since most of my feedback gets written between 11:00 PM and 1:00 AM, I'm sure there's one or two beers involved too.

I'm all for something different but the basic demands of the genre must still be satisfied. What I mean is, not enough action! I wouldn't even call this soft porn. Now "Call Girl Wives", there was a soft porn flick worth staying up for. "The Exhibitionist Files" is worth sleeping through.

It's always important for filmmakers to recognize and appreciate their audience. Late night skin flicks need skin and lots of it. People watching cable at midnight, (like me), don't want to listen to a bunch of freaks talk about how they did something naughty. We want to WATCH. The essence of being a voyeur. There was nothing to watch in "The Exhibitionist Files". Therefore, the files must be closed and forgotten.

Bob Whitley said...

Something tells me that the reviewer saw the r-rated version of this movie and not the unrated version.I have the unrated version and i have to say that it is very explicit for a soft core movie.In some of the scenes you can clearly see female genitalia such as when the black woman pleasures herself in her car while watching people look at her nude photos.There are quite a few sex scenes but i will admit that there should have been more Catalina in it.The hottest scene is when Catalina Larranaga gives a go at exhibitionism by videotaping herself masturbating until she cums.Of course you will never see this scene in the rated version of the film so make sure you get the unrated version.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

I saw whatever version was playing on Cinemax. It's hard to believe that the r-rated version would be playing on late night cable. Although if it was it would help explain why the movie was unsatisfying to me. But even if there is a harder version somewhere, I still don't think I could sit through any more insipid whining from these fools just to see a few more minutes of the lovely Catalina.