Monday, October 08, 2007

"House on Hooter Hill" review

House on Hooter Hill (2007)

Directed by Jim Wynorski

Taylor Wayne (as Taylor Wane)

It’s Déjà vu all over again in Wynorski land. His business model is set in stone. Any deviation from the softcore playbook will not be tolerated. Once again, his favorite cabin in the woods is the setting for yet another sex filled romp with as many large breasted women as the lease would allow. This one must have been filmed at the same time as “The Breastford Wives” as Taylor Wane and Glori-Anne Gilbert return for yet another round in the hot tubs. But this time there’s some inane plot device which allows women with enormous tits to have sex while music blasts over the action. Oh wait, that’s just like every other Wynorski sex flick.

Wynorski could teach mainstream cinema a thing or two about how to stretch a budget. Even the DVD case reeks of cheapness. There are two shots of Taylor Wane lifted right from the cover of “The Breastford Wives”. Why waste money on taking a new picture when you can spend it on something important? Like, for instance…hmmm…what does Wynorski think is worth spending money on? I don’t know but it’s definitely not new pictures of Taylor Wane for the cover. Speaking of the cover, I should also point out that Alexia Moore is displayed prominently on it but doesn’t appear anywhere in “House on Hooter Hill”. Of course she doesn’t. Why should I be surprised? I should just be grateful that there was actually a movie inside the DVD case.

Jim Wynorski and his softcore partner in crime Fred Olen Ray have pretty much cornered the market on late night sex flicks. Cinemax is flooded with their movies. They’ve created slick B-movie making machines which crank out the softcore flicks with brutal efficiency. To say Wynorski is in a rut is an understatement. All this softcore money has made him lazy beyond belief. But you know what? Who can blame him? If you had Cinemax bankrolling your life, wouldn’t you spend it on watching large breasted women have copious amounts of sex? The man knows what he likes.

“House on Hooter Hill” is exactly what you expect. Gilbert and her husband go up to the infamous cabin and proceed to bang anyone with a gigantic rack. Taylor Wane will leave her fortune to anyone who can figure out the secret clue she has left them. Amazingly, the secret to unraveling the clue lies in the women putting their breasts together and having a lot of sex. There are two guys and about six or seven girls. Everybody gets naked and a good time is had by all.

One thing still irritates me though. I’m going to have to file an injunction with the Softcore Film Board to bar Glori-Ann Gilbert from appearing in any more of these movies. When does this madness end? She blew two more lesbian scenes in this one and made me long for the days when Julie Smith was running around in Wynorski flicks. But of course, I always long for Julie Smith movies. Now there’s a woman you can depend on for some fun. I can depend on Gilbert to make me put my fast forward button to good use.

The best sex scene was at the beginning with Taylor Wane. She had a pretty good lesbian scene with another larger breasted girl in the hot tub. “House on Hooter Hill” was off to a good start. The rest of the movie is fairly standard although I did like the muscle-bound Xena look-alike. She didn’t really have any good sex scenes but she was a nice change of pace from the usual women who appear in these movies. Overall, “House on Hooter Hill” is a decent softcore flick. It’s worth a look.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 Hooters girls, girls, girls

1 comment:

Nando said...

Man, that girl Barbie Bennett is so hot, i want to see more of her ;P