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Friday, March 03, 2006

"Bloody Tease" review


Bloody Tease (2004)

Directed by Brad Sykes
Writing credits Eric Spudic

Elina Madison.... Treasure
Allison Beal.... Monique
Monika Wild.... Serena

"Bloody Tease" is a complete waste of time. There's just something about vampire strippers who don't strip that rubs me the wrong way. Three guys head to a strip club and run into vampire strippers. That's pretty much all there is to "Bloody Tease". The rest of the movie consists of partying down scenes as the guys try to persuade the strippers to finally take off some clothes back at their pad.

This movie is obscenely pointless. There's nothing here. I think the movie was thrown together with the idea that they'll film the guys making out with some hot women and somehow build a movie around that. All of the stripping scenes have absolutely no stripping in them! Not one single item of clothing falls off of any of the strippers! I found it hard to believe that the guys were having a great time when the women were half asleep and fully clothed. If I was at that strip club, I would have demanded my money back. In fact, I feel like demanding my money back right now.

Two of the vampire strippers finally get naked back at the swinging college pad but it's too late to save "Bloody Tease". If you're going to promise sleaze, deliver sleaze. "Bloody Tease" is certainly a tease. It promises you a good time with some hot vamps but gives you nothing but bad acting, a meaningless plot, mediocre gore effects and various other things that have nothing to do with a female vampire taking her clothes off.

SCORE: LANDFILL

3 comments:

Jeff said...

I watched this movie recently, and I couldn't agree with you more.
The characters have no constant flow: "MARTIN! DO ONE COOL THING IN YOUR LIFE AND HAVE ANOTHER BEER!" -That made me laugh so hard, just thinking how he was the only sober one there, yet he suddenly is 100% pissed.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Jeff,

Sorry you had to suffer through "Bloody Tease" too. I wish I had laughed at something in this movie. No such luck for me.

Matt Klapmeyer said...

Saw this one last night the cover lied to me again ugh!!!! :-( Why does this keep happening to me lol