Sunday, August 06, 2006

"Screaming Dead" review

Screaming Dead (2003)

Directed by Brett Piper
Writing credits Brett Piper

Erin Brown.... Bridget (as Misty Mundae)
Sylvianne Chebance.... Receptionist
C.J. DiMarsico
A.J. Khan.... Model in Opening Sequence
Rob Monkiewicz.... Sam Rogan

OK. Here's the deal. Listen close. Misty Mundae is a softcore porn star. She's not a particular favorite of mine but you've got to give her credit for her willingness to hop into bed with other women. That's right. Misty Mundae = Sex with women. Mundae is shorthand for girl/girl action. That's what she does. Everybody knows that. So who decided to have a scene where Misty is in bed with two other women and then let them not have sex?! NOOOOOOO! Why Lord Why???

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, if she's not getting it on with other women, there must be something else for her to do. That's where you're wrong. There's nothing else for Misty to do. Actually there's nothing for anyone to do. "Screaming Dead" is all build-up and no payoff. Misty Mundae is in bed with two women and there's no sex. Need I say more?

OK I will. Three models and a photographer head to an abandoned maniac's house. Sadist the friendly ghost is hanging around waiting for someone to turn him on. The photographer likes to take S&M pictures of girls. For some reason, there is a muscle-bound goon hanging around the photo shoot. He wears a bright green shirt that actually glows greener when he's angry. He's the Incredible Bulk. Bulk smash! Will he protect the girls from the kinky photographer and the ghostly sadist? You'll have to watch the movie to find out although I wouldn't recommend it.

No Mundae sex for you! Bad B-movie fan!

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 Mundaes, Bloody Mundaes

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