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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

"The Arena" review

The Arena (2001)

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov
Writing credits John William Corrington

Karen McDougal.... Jessemina
Lisa Dergan.... Bodicia
Olga Sutulova.... Livia
Julia Chicherina.... Diedra

I was strolling through the Action section of Blockbuster the other day when I spotted this one. "The Arena". Interesting...I looked closer. It had two Amazon gladiator chicks doing battle in "The Arena". I thought about reading the description on the back of the box but then thought better of it. It couldn't possibly be any more enticing than the front. Why ruin a perfectly good Amazon warrior movie with plot ramblings?

Naturally, it didn't take long for this one to disappoint me. I've got to learn to control my B-movie lust. I see Amazons fighting, I get excited. I can't help myself. "The Arena" is an ambitious movie. It longs to be more than just a movie with two hot chicks fighting to the death. Why the filmmakers would want this is unknown. It has a plot, characters, drama, weird camera angles and all sorts of things that shouldn't be anywhere near an Amazon sword fighting flick.

There was one scene that started to scare me. The Romans are celebrating their victory by having a party. This party has all the soldiers in a circle holding hands, jumping up and down and shouting "Ho! - Ho! - Ho! Ho! Ho!". This drags on for about three minutes. I wasn't sure where this male bonding party was heading. Fortunately, the Amazons broke up the festivities before things got out of hand. Amazon women save the day again.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 Playmate gladiators

2 comments:

Kester Pelagius said...

I feel your pain. I remember setting my VCR to record this off cable when it first came out. It was so abysmal I recorded over it after only watching about 15 or so minutes.

However if you think you're disappointed over a blind buy be glad you didn't see, or know about, the original. For then you'd really be disappointed!

That's right this is a remake of, are you ready for it, THE ARENA (starring Pam Grier) produced by none other than the sleaze on a budget pulp guru himself Roger Corman.

Not that it was much better.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Kester,

Original "Arena" you say? Pam Grier you say? Hmmmm... It must be better than this movie.

I wish I had reached for the stop button as well. I'm a glutton for punishment and watched the whole thing. It did not get better after the fifteen minute mark. That's did NOT get better. Shocking I know.