Thursday, August 31, 2006

"The Punisher" review

The Punisher (2004)

Directed by Jonathan Hensleigh
Writing credits Jonathan Hensleigh Michael France

Thomas Jane.... Frank Castle/The Punisher (as Tom Jane)
John Travolta.... Howard Saint
Will Patton.... Quentin Glass
Eddie Jemison.... Mickey Duka
Rebecca Romijn.... Joan (as Rebecca Romijn-Stamos)

Thomas Jane, (Frank Castle/Punisher), is out for blood. But first he wants to take his shirt off. Oh yeah. That's better. Let those pecs free. The Punisher has to let the world see his nipples as much as possible. So Travolta decides to wipe out Castle's family. This doesn't sit well with our bare-chested vigilante. Travolta has pushed the Punisher to the limit. He's made him put on a shirt. Anyone who gazes on his skull t-shirt is marked for death.

Travolta decides to reason with Castle by sending a couple of hitmen his way. The first hitman decides to serenade Castle while he's eating. This is how cold blooded killers communicate with each other. The hitman dedicates the song to the one he loves. Only through the majestic power of song can two hard souls come to grips with the unfair world around them. The second hitman is a super huge, throbbing Russian Waldo.I found him! I found him! He attacks the Punisher while his male neighbors are dancing together and singing along to opera. The Punisher looks longingly out his window, wishing he could join them.

His hot blonde neighbor, (Rebecca Stamos), wants Castle to replace his old, bad memories with some new, good ones. He tells her, "I'm not what you're looking for." and runs off. Shortly afterwards, we see the Punisher choking on the business end of a handgun. This is one conflicted Punisher. Will no one stop his pain?

The Punisher is punishing himself far too much. He should take the same action hero therapy that many men have tried before him. By killing insane amounts of bad guys of course. The Punisher is more into being subtle. He takes his time and exacts his revenge in a very thoughtful, precise manner. Personally, I think the Punisher should have wasted everyone as inhumanely as possible. That would have shaken off those post family massacre blues. Eventually, the Punisher puts on some clothes and takes care of business. I just wish he would have straightened himself out a little sooner.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 fully dressed for revenge Punishers

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