Friday, August 04, 2006

"Midnight Mass" review

Midnight Mass (2003)

Directed by Tony Mandile
Writing credits Tony Mandile F. Paul Wilson

Julia Cornish.... Raven
Elizabeth Vance.... Dakota
Mariana Matthews.... 'Mickey' Edwards
Pamela Karp.... Gwen Waters

B-movie's must learn to accept their limitations. You know a B-movie is reaching for the stars when the back of the video box promises vampires taking over the world. My spider sense was screaming at me not to rent this one. Any low budget movie that promises world domination is setting you up for bitter disappointment. "Midnight Mass" is no exception.

So vampires have taken over the world - B-movie style. We get to see a bunch of TV broadcasts at the beginning of the flick which assures us that the bloodsuckers have bitten the world. Take their word on it. This all becomes meaningless when the movie focuses on a small town church. Seems the local chapter of the vampire army has taken over the church and the priest who was running it wants vengeance. He's aided by the only atheist in town and together they will try to make their part of the world vampire free.

You know the movie is in trouble right away when they kill the hot blonde within minutes and let the overweight, droopy girl live on to torment the audience with her overacting. Who was the genius who made this decision? So she goes to get the priest and tries to shake him out of his alcoholic stupor. "Joe! We need you!" There were at least five scenes in which either Father Joe or our heroine overacted to the heavens. Was this their stab at an Oscar? I was cringing. I know I'm being mean to the lead actress but this inane movie brought out my fangs and claws. It's the movie's fault.

There is only one scene worth seeing. It's a thirty second S&M sex scene which has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie.Speaking of the rest of the movie, it's a shining example of B-movie lameness. Too much overacting kills a decent vampire movie premise. There's not enough gore or action here to make up for Ms. Hammy Girl and her attempt to bring home the gold.


No comments: