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Saturday, August 05, 2006

"Deep Shock" review

Deep Shock (2003)

Directed by Phillip J. Roth
Writing credits Brian Mammett Jeff Rank

David Keith.... Capt. Andrew (Andy) Raines, USN
Simmone Mackinnon.... Dr. Anne Fletcher (as Simmone Jade Mackinnon)
Mark Sheppard.... Chomsky
Sean Whalen.... Arciero

It could have been so simple. You rent a flick called "Deep Shock" and expect giant eels to be attacking. Well, that's what I expected. Instead I got a hokey, moronic, painful waste of a movie. Who was in charge of quality control for this stink burger? Yuck-o. Shockingly terrible.

Giant glowing eels attack an underground station. The UN sends the usual plucky scientist to investigate. The eels looked like the dragon from "Never Ending Story". They did not look like eels. They shoot lightning bolts out of their heads! What? Wait...What? What is that about? These are super eels. How super you ask? The scientist creates a computer program to talk to the eels!! YES!! Instant messaging with eels! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!

This movie is as lame brained as it gets. I was in agony watching it. The monsters turn out to be misunderstood eels and the humans are wretched for not trying to understand them and their eel ways. If there is one lesson I can impart on monster movie filmmakers, it is this: Monsters are there to be killed. They are the bad guys. They are not there to be petted like a puppy dog or otherwise sympathized with.

This movie was made for only one purpose: To show off their lame computer special effects. Over half the movie is spent having characters look at computer screens. Whoop-dee-doo. The eel flick needed lots of computer screen shots with diagrams of subs, stations and whatever else was in chaos.

Send this flick down into the eel trench. They might like it. All humans should avoid.

SCORE: LANDFILL

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Absolutely correct review.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Thanks.