
Terror Toons (2002)
Directed by Joe Castro
Writing credits Rudy Balli
Beverly Lynne.... Cindy (as Beverly Lynn)
Lizzie Borden.... Candy
Kerry Liu.... Amy
When will I learn? What cosmic event needs to shake me from my slumber? For some reason, the idea of cartoon characters coming to life and killing people appealed to me. I foresaw a "Roger Rabbit" rampage kind of movie.
Instead you get two idiots, in obvious plastic masks, attacking a group of people on a super cheap set. It was painful. There is a lot of gore but it's all cheap and terrible. Just parading animal guts in front of the screen is not going to give gore satisfaction. I could go to the butcher at the grocery store if I wanted that.
And what was with the "younger" sister? She had huge breasts and did not get naked. Did NOT get naked. Why? Why I ask? The movie had nothing else going for it. Why not spring the extra 20 bucks? That's how cheap this movie was. Couldn't afford nudity but had a bucket full of cheap blood.
The main appeal of two cartoon characters attacking was a lie. A gross lie. It was just two dorks in masks being goofy. Load my gun. I've got to take this movie outside and end it all.
SCORE: LANDFILL

No comments:
Post a Comment