Friday, January 20, 2006

"Terror Toons" review

Terror Toons (2002)

Directed by Joe Castro
Writing credits Rudy Balli

Beverly Lynne.... Cindy (as Beverly Lynn)
Lizzie Borden.... Candy
Kerry Liu.... Amy

When will I learn? What cosmic event needs to shake me from my slumber? For some reason, the idea of cartoon characters coming to life and killing people appealed to me. I foresaw a "Roger Rabbit" rampage kind of movie.

Instead you get two idiots, in obvious plastic masks, attacking a group of people on a super cheap set. It was painful. There is a lot of gore but it's all cheap and terrible. Just parading animal guts in front of the screen is not going to give gore satisfaction. I could go to the butcher at the grocery store if I wanted that.

And what was with the "younger" sister? She had huge breasts and did not get naked. Did NOT get naked. Why? Why I ask? The movie had nothing else going for it. Why not spring the extra 20 bucks? That's how cheap this movie was. Couldn't afford nudity but had a bucket full of cheap blood.

The main appeal of two cartoon characters attacking was a lie. A gross lie. It was just two dorks in masks being goofy. Load my gun. I've got to take this movie outside and end it all.


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