Wednesday, January 18, 2006

"Attack of the Virgin Mummies" review

Attack of the Virgin Mummies (2003)

Directed by Daryl Carstensen Andrew Schrom
Writing credits Daryl Carstensen

Hanna Harper
Violet Blue.... Ananka (as Ada Mae Johnson)
Nikki Love

This is an interesting film because I can't figure out why the filmmakers bothered to make it. Basically "Attack of the Virgin Mummies" is about showing as much gratuitous nudity as possible. Perhaps that was the reason? If nudity was the only thing on their minds, why did they bother with the mummy angle? Massive amounts of breasts just weren't enough I guess.

It starts off with three sisters frolicking by a lake. They are all naked of course. As they bounce around, a trio of ugly guys barges in on them. The ugliest one decides he wants it all and kills the virgin girls. Believe me, I'm not spoiling anything by telling you this. Anyway, everybody gets reincarnated in modern day Los Angeles, (of course), and they start working at a strip club. The ugly guy comes back as a mummy and starts hunting them down. While the meaningless mummy storyline plays out, there are plenty of scenes of stripping by reincarnated virgin girls.

"Attack of the Virgin Mummies" is certainly not a good movie but it did have tremendous amounts of unnecessary nudity so I can't totally condemn it. The virgin mummies never attacked anyone either but that doesn't really bother me. The acting was terrible, the sets were cheap looking and the plot was non-existent but oh those virgin mummies! My favorite had to be Nikki Love, the short brunette. I found her stripping scene to be top notch. She saved that strip club from bankruptcy and this movie as well.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 for gratuitous mummy nudity


Anonymous said...

LOL, you gotta love that title. So these girls were virgins when they died, or are they virgins to being mummies? Am I analyzing such a stupid film a bit too much? Probably. Nice review though.

Anonymous said...

How exactly can you have missed the point that this is a soft porn movie? Your review seems to stem from the assumption that it is supposed to be taken seriously. If you're giving it marks for the nudity then it should be 5 stars because the girls are practically naked throughout (and full frontal too), which IS THE ENTIRE POINT. The reason they 'bothered with the mummy' is because nudity with a plot (however knowingly ludicrous)is more fun than just Playboy style dancing sequencies. I love films like this: nudity and fun. It makes me wonder why you're reviewing films like this at all if you don't already understnad the above.

Anonymous said...

With a movie like this, you either love it or believe it to be a piece of insipid garbage that stole 1 hour from your life that you'll never get back.

As the reviewer stated the mummy plot only serves as a device to show these girls naked as much as possible. The gratuitous nudity was the entire reason for making this thing because the acting, directing,dialogue,plot and production values are among the worst to ever be put on film.

But the ladies are lovely and they spend damn near the entire movie stark naked.

I like it, but only because of the nudity. Take the nakedness away and you've got one of the worst movies ever made. Keep the nudity and you've got an hour of good fun.

Three stars baby.