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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

"Asylum of the Damned" review

Asylum of the Damned (2003)

Directed by Philip J. Jones
Writing credits Matt McCombs

Bruce Payne.... Dr. McCort
Matt Stasi.... James Bishop
Tracy Scoggins.... Helen

After watching "Asylum of the Damned", I got in my car and drove to the nearest bookstore. I came to the realization that there must be better ways to entertain myself than watching a braindead B-movie like this one. So I grabbed the latest Michael Crichton book, "State of Fear", with the hopes that my brain can be recharged and saved before it's too late.

"Asylum of the Damned" is lame. Yes. That's exactly the word you will use after seeing it. Like, "Geez, that was lame." Lame. So very lame. OK, so some demon lives in the basement of an asylum. Now that I've told you that, you can fast forward through most of the movie. This is one of those movies where the monster is a mystery to the main character but is obvious to everyone else. The hospital staff, the inmates, the director, and the audience all know that there is a big snarling beast in the basement. So what is the point of dragging this movie on and on? Yeesh. By the time our hero figures out that there's a possibly interesting movie hiding in the basement, the audience is sound asleep. They roll the beast out once or twice but he doesn't do much. They probably disturbed his naptime.

Avoid this Asylum. Read a book.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 books to read instead

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

this movie sucked

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Succinctly true.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

its odd that even though tracy scoggins was 49 when this movie was shot she was still reasonably tasty, strange when you consider the fact that she was 31 years past the peak of her physical attractiveness and desirability, that blond chick julia lee was pretty sexy as well. Now with regards to the actual quality of the film, i thought it started quite well, (especially in terms of the spooky and cosy atmosphere inside the asylum), its just a shame it lost its way towards the end.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

I don't think there was ever a point in this movie where I thought it was going well. It was stuck in lame from the beginning. The monster should have popped his head up from the basement a lot sooner.

BTW - The Michael Crichton book kind of dragged. But it was still more entertaining than "Asylum of the Damned".