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Saturday, January 21, 2006

"Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain" review


Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain (2003)

Directed by Christian Viel
Writing credits Christian Viel

Bobbie Phillips.... Karen Douglas
Howard Rosenstein.... Paul
Ginger Lynn Allen.... Pandora
Chasey Lain.... Amy
Taylor Hayes.... The Breeder
Jenna Jameson.... Jenny

A bunch of tourists head into the woods to do some research on the ancient ways of the druids. Some inbred, mutant cannibals decide that they look delicious and are going to have their way with them. Porn stars keep showing up in the forest as well. Jenna Jameson and Chasey Lain are two lovely ladies who would look extra yummy sitting on the cannibal’s dinner table. The rest of the movie has the tourists running for their lives from the famished cannibals. Will the lone virgin wearing pigtails survive the vicious onslaught? A porno star doesn’t really stand a chance of getting out alive in these kinds of movies.

I can safely say that only a true horror movie geek could have made this movie. You can hear the pitch: We’ll kill some porn stars, throw in some gore, it’ll be awesome!!! Thus, “Samhain” was born. In fact, the back of the video box proudly proclaims: “Cannibals wreck havoc on Jenna Jameson!” That’s quite the exploitative tagline. Well, it worked wonders on me. I couldn’t rent it fast enough. I’d pay to see Jenna Jameson attacked in a horror flick. In fact, I did pay to see it.

“Samhain” starts off like any other horror flick as the cast/victims end up at a remote spot. Then they take the time to explain the legend of Sawney Bean to the group to get their imaginations fired up. Where would horror movie filmmakers be without Sawney Bean and his clan of killers? So the Irish hills have eyes and they spot a bunch of people making a B-movie. Once the cannibals come out to play, the movie becomes one long gore scene as everybody gets their bloody turn under the knife.

“Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain” has enough of a potent gore and porno star mix to make it worth watching once. That’s not saying it’s any good mind you. “Samhain” has some of the worst acting I’ve seen in a B-flick. The goober who explains the horror movie rules was really annoying. How he scored in the shower with the Jenna Jameson look-alike is a mystery. Chasey Lain looked like she was going to fall asleep during her scene in the tent . On the plus side, Jenna Jameson shows up long enough to get horribly killed. Check out the deleted version of her death scene. It almost makes it all worth it.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 because Jenna Jameson was attacked by a mutant cannibal

4 comments:

ana said...

But SERIOUSLY.

Was it REALLY necessary to everyone getting thier colon ripped out of thier ass and strangled with it?

Inbreds like the tasty goodness of human colon?

I guess?

:\

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Never underestimate the tangy, chewy yumminess of intestines. That's what horror movie filmmakers love to pull out of their victims more than anything. Truly, "the guts" in blood and guts.

Now the strangling with the intestines part? Well, I would chalk that up to the overzealousness of the filmmakers who clearly have a love of excessive gore and gratutious porn star cameos. Both had to be exploited for all they were worth.

Anonymous said...

Jenna gets opened up from her tits to her pubic bone and gets her innards pulled out like carving a pumpkin. Give her credit. Not many actresses would do this scene. Dare I say she had a lot of guts to do this?

Dr. Gore said...

Ba-dum-bum-CHING! A lot of guts indeed.

Jenna Jameson is one of the few brights spots in this movie. In fact, I would give her all of the credit for making this movie watchable. She's a gutsy performer.

Ba-dum-bum-CHING! We're on a roll now.