Monday, January 23, 2006

"Dracula 3000" review

Dracula 3000 (2004)

Directed by Darrell Roodt
Writing credits Ivan Milborrow Darrell Roodt

Casper Van Dien.... Capt. Abraham Van Helsing
Erika Eleniak.... Aurora Ash
Coolio.... 187

When you rent a movie about Dracula in outer space, you know you're cruising through the B-movie galaxy. You add Casper Van Dien and Coolio to the mix; you're traveling at warp speed. Then I saw the big man himself, Dracula, wearing the classic black cape with the huge collar. His fashion sense hadn't changed in the last 2,000 years. This ship was out of control and headed for the sun.

"Dracula 3000" is pretty bad. But one has to wonder if it had any chance of being good. Hmmmmm...Probably not. Coolio was overacting his brains out. Van Dien was acting cool, confident, comatose. Even blonde Captain Babe couldn't bring this one to life.

"Dracula 3000" has the classic B-movie set-up. A bunch of characters roam around a big empty space. This time it was an abandoned warehouse/spaceship. Yawn. There's barely any gore, Dracula is a loser, and the viewer slowly drifts away into darkness. Infinite darkness...

SCORE: 1 out of 4 life-sucking Coolios

No comments: