Sunday, January 29, 2006
"Charlie's Death Wish" review
Charlie's Death Wish (2005)
Directed by Jeff Leroy
Phoebe Dollar.... Charlie
Ron Jeremy.... Cop
The southern girl with the funky eyes goes to Hollywood to trash the place and every lowlife hustler in it. Charlie, (Phoebe Dollar), has a problem with Hollywood. The City of Angels has sucked up her innocent sister and spit her out. She died in a mysterious jail house "accident". Dollar wants her revenge on all of the sleaze-bags who had anything to do with the death of her sister. She hits the boulevard of broken dreams armed to the teeth to show Hollywood who's running things. Ron Jeremy shows up as a cop who wants to bring down the mysterious vigilante who's bumping off most of L.A.'s gangsters. He better not get in the way or else he'll burn with the rest of Hollywood.
"Charlie's Death Wish" is an ultra low budget revenge flick with a white hot desire to spit in the face of Hollywood. The very first shot in the movie shows the word Hollywood in big neon lights. So right away they've established that Phoebe's massacre will tear its way through La La Land. Later on, as a couple of bad guys make a move for Dollar, she shoots a billboard over their heads which has the word Hollywood plastered across it. The sign promptly falls on them and breaks into pieces. When Dollar really gets mad, she curses Hollywood, rolls her car over the Hollywood sign cliff, and destroys the first two letters in that famous landmark. As Ron Jeremy says, "She took the HO out of Hollywood."
All of this begs the question, who did Phoebe really want to destroy? The evil people who killed her sister or the deceitful town that spawned them and attracts more porno stars, pimps, dealers and thousands of other daydream believers to Hollywood every single day? You can't destroy Hollywood Phoebe. The lure of fame and fortune is too powerful. Your death wish isn't strong enough to compete with the California dream of limousines, swimming pools, perfect weather, beautiful women and a chance to see and be seen on Sunset Blvd with the movie stars.
"Charlie's Death Wish" has an angry Dollar killing as many people as possible. She gives Charles Bronson, (Charlie/Charles Bronson, get it?), a run for his money in the vigilante dept. Many heads will explode before the movie is over. I enjoyed this exercise in B-movie Hollywood bashing. It moved along and gave Phoebe plenty of chances to blow away lowlifes. Jeremy is a fine actor who gets to show off his acting talents as the cop tracking her down.
I'm still a little disappointed that Phoebe Dollar has never gotten naked in any of her flicks. What's up with that? She even goes undercover as a stripper but does not strip. Come on Phoebe. B-movie queens should show a little skin in between cracking skulls. Embrace Hollywood and all it stands for. Don't pick a fight you can't possibly win.
SCORE 2 out of 4 all American Jeremy's