Saturday, September 02, 2006

"Willard" review

Willard (2003)

Directed by Glen Morgan
Writing credits Gilbert Ralston

Crispin Glover.... Willard Stiles
R. Lee Ermey.... Frank Martin
Laura Harring.... Cathryn (as Laura Elena Harring)
Jackie Burroughs.... Henrietta Stiles

What a disappointment. I'm heartbroken. I was looking forward to Willard and his rat army. There was a lot of potential here. Now it's wasted potential.

What happened? It could have been a cool horror flick. But once again, the PG-13 rears its ugly head and emasculates another horror movie. "Willard" is toothless and bloodless.

So if Willard has a rat army at his disposal, to right the wrongs afflicted against him, why doesn't he use it? OK, he goes after his boss who is mean to him. And that's it! I waited 45-50 minutes for this?! And you want to talk about a letdown? If the boss kill was the highlight attack of his rat army, where was the carnage? There should have been a rat crawling in one eye socket and out his mouth! What's that you say? That's too gross? It's a killer rat movie man! Where was the blood?!! Producer: "Let's make "Willard" PG-13 so the kids can see it. We're sure to make more money that way. People love PG-13 flicks!" Hey! PG-13 stinks! Kids are going to see a boring rat flick! Great idea!

All this movie had was the potential for the rats to do Willard's bidding and "tear it up". Instead they get a PG-13 rating and crawl around Willard's kitchen. Willard should have had at least five or six more bullies to kill. How about a guy who steals his parking space at work? Maybe a woman who turned him down for a date and makes fun of him at work? The rats needed a lot more bodies to tear up.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 dorks with a bunch of lazy rats

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