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Saturday, September 02, 2006

"Vampires: The Turning" review

Vampires: The Turning (2005)

Directed by Marty Weiss
Writing credits D.B. Farmer Andy Hurst

Patrick Bauchau .... Raines
Nophand Boonyai .... Suwan
Stephanie Chao .... Sang
Colin Egglesfield .... Connor

"Vampires: the Turning" is a very generic B-movie. Everything one would expect from a kung fu vampire flick is here. No surprises, just the usual. So a kickboxer breaks up with his girlfriend in Thailand. The vampires swoop down on her and take her away. This upsets the kickboxer. Soon he will meet up with some good vamps and try to wage war against the motorcycle driving bad guys. Some vampire hunters show up as well to complicate the thin plot further. It all ends with a generic fight to the death.

First off, why is this guy risking his life for a girl that doesn't love him? She breaks up with him in the middle of a bloody kickboxing match. How cruel is that? It's clear that she is not the girl for him yet he insists on risking his soul to save her. It doesn't make sense. At any rate, all of the fight scenes are ho hum and not that bloody. This movie has almost no connection to the other "Vampires" flicks other than a brief hunting scene where they drag one vamp out into the sunlight via car pulley. The movie putters along with one lame fight scene after another until it finally ends. Finally.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 generic vampire attacks

4 comments:

Big Panda Bear said...

I think Egglesfield is a real cute soap opera star, so I surfed the Net while watching this terrible B movie out of the corner of my eye!!

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Big Panda Bear,

Probably should have used the corner of your eye for more productive purposes. Like, for instance, pretty much anything.

Anonymous said...

Great review... now find me the soundtrack by Tim Jones.

He is like a ghost in the blogosphere of things and it is absolutely frustrating beyond belief...

Thanks!

~A~

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

A,

Tim Jones is the Ghost in the Machine. The soundtrack is hiding. Couldn't tell you where it is. He may have a myspace page for all things Jones. Good luck.