Saturday, September 09, 2006

"Delta Delta Die!" review

Delta Delta Die! (2003)

Directed by Devin Hamilton
Writing credits Devin Hamilton

Julie Strain .... Marilyn Fitch
Brinke Stevens .... Rhonda Cooper
Karen A. Smith .... Hannah Bull (as Karen Smyth)
Tiffany Shepis .... Patrice
Rachel Myers .... Clarice
Lizzy Strain .... Mandy
Katie Adams .... Young Marilyn Fitch

The sorority girls of Delta Delta Pi have a problem. Their diet consists of fraternity boys. No vegetables, just meat. House mother Julie Strain wants a big bash planned for the Homecoming. Since bake sales are what they do best, it has been decided that some buff dudes should be rounded up and put in the blender. Brinke Stevens catches a whiff of the plan and decides to give Strain a piece of her mind. It's time for a B-movie scream queen showdown.

First, let me state the obvious. This is not a good movie. The acting is embarrassing and the action is lame. The gore is also pathetic. I think a weekend would have been enough time to shoot this B-epic. If this took any longer than two weeks to film, I would be shocked. Is it a good horror film? No. The very concept that this movie could be scary is laughable. Horror is not to be found at this house.

HOWEVER, if there's one aspect of B-movies I always appreciate, it's the nudity. "Delta Delta Die" excels in that aspect. It is my duty and privilege to thank them by name. Thank you Julie Strain, Tiffany Shepis, Katie Adams, and Rachel Myers. All the other sorority girls need to leave the DDP's and go hook up with the Lambda Lambda Lambda's. Get lost nerds. Only these four understood that they were in a cannibalistic sorority movie. The movie couldn't do anything else right but film topless women. At least they knew how to do that.

Thank God for Julie Strain. Amazon warrior Strain does her topless thing again and all is right with the world. She has never met a bra she didn't want to rip off. Please let it always be so. Tiffany Shepis shows up to get her groove thing on in a strip tease dance. If she wanted to, she could look into stripping full time. She's got the hot moves. I'm not saying that to be insulting. I mean it. HOT. Adams and Myers also get naked. Adams scene is during a flashback and Myers has two rounds of nudity. I'd like to see Myers in some more B-insanity. She's got the bod AND the right B-movie attitude.

So as far as nudity, I applaud "Delta Delta Die". Everything else was lame. Brinke Stevens shows up and does NOT get naked. Oh Brinke. Why are you being shy? I have a Haunting Fear we won't be seeing Stevens getting naked again. Strain had to carry the load in this one. No shyness to worry about there.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 only because Julie Strain and Tiffany Shepis rock the sorority
Yeah, a fine sorority girl in leather if I do say so myself.

Hot mama Strain rocks the galaxy too.

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