Tuesday, February 21, 2006

"Eternal Blood" review

Eternal Blood (2002)

Directed by Jorge Olguín

Writing credits Carolina García Jorge Olguín

Juan Pablo Ogalde.... M
Blanca Lewin.... Carmila
Patricia López.... Elizabeth

I waited 100 minutes for this movie to start and it never did. There should be a flashing warning sign on the front of the video box: WARNING: THIS IS NOT A HORROR MOVIE! Since there isn't I'll warn you now: THIS IS NOT A HORROR MOVIE! Oh sure, there are two bad beasties on the cover looking all blood thirsty. And yes, there is a girl with two long fingers of death giving you the evil eye. It's all a mirage. She's actually giving you her middle finger. It's all smoke and mirrors. "Eternal Blood" is a fraudulent, cold blooded LIE. This movie is not a movie. It is 100 minutes of nothing. If it wasn't a rental, I would have bashed it into little bitty pieces and thrown it out my car window.

The worst part is that this movie had potential. There were some interesting scenes at the beginning which seemed to be building up to something. The Goth kids are playing their vampire role-playing game and priests are wielding shotguns. Anything that was remotely interesting in this movie was all in someone's imagination. The imagination of drug taking Goth losers. I deliberately avoided renting a similar straight to video movie called "Vampire Clan" because I knew the "twist" to the story. I thought this movie was going to dip over into the horror genre. Nope. It's a total lie. Waste of time, energy and space.

Screw this movie and all it stands for.


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