Tuesday, July 25, 2006

"Hell Asylum" review

Hell Asylum (2002)

Directed by Danny Draven
Writing credits Trent Haaga

Debra Mayer.... Paige
Tanya Dempsey.... Amber
Sunny Lombardo.... Rainbow
Stacey Scowley.... Stacey

I bought this video for four bucks. Five lovely ladies check into the Hell Asylum. They are there to play the "Chill Challenge". It's a reality based TV show. If you get scared, you're booted out. The producer has rigged the house to scare the ladies and make a few bucks. Little does he know that the Hell Asylum is actually haunted! MOO-HA-HA! Haunted by what you ask? I don't care! MOO-HA-HA!

Well, this was lame. Not that I expected too much mind you, but this was pretty ho hum. "Hell Asylum" is one of those run of the mill B-movies that is instantly forgettable. Soon it will recede to the back of my B-movie watching memory, never to be heard from again. So you got five lovely ladies in the Hell Asylum and yet not one of them can lose their shirt? Tsk. Tsk. For shame. No nudity. Cheap gore. It has all that and less.

It's pointless to criticize such a lackluster piece of blah like this. It doesn't care. I don't care. No one cares. It's unanimous. Let's all just move on and let this sleeping dog lie.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 knocked-out cold dogs

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