Sunday, October 29, 2006

"Van Helsing" review

Van Helsing (2004)

Directed by Stephen Sommers
Writing credits Stephen Sommers

Hugh Jackman .... Van Helsing
Kate Beckinsale .... Anna Valerious
Richard Roxburgh .... Count Vladislaus Dracula
David Wenham .... Carl
Shuler Hensley .... Frankenstein's Monster
Elena Anaya .... Aleera

Van Helsing has an assignment from the Vatican: Hunt down these evil, out of control special effects before they overload the moviegoers brain. OOOOOHHHH! Too late. Summer movie overdose has fried any sense of fun left.

"Van Helsing" has all the movie elements that I would normally enjoy very much. So why was I bored watching it? This movie is the epitome of "too much of a good thing". Non stop special effects dilute your senses. This movie is trying to entertain you via a sledgehammer to the back of your head. My head is killing me.

On the plus side, the werewolf was appropriately vicious. The Dracula babes were sucktastic. Frankenstein's monster had a cool look to him too. Not as good as the vampire women mind you, but still pretty good. But the movie's reliance on special effects exposes the monsters for the fake creations they are. I knew Van Helsing was battling computer effects, not killer beasts. Ho hum. The end battle between Dracula and Van Wolfman was so obviously fake that I had to give in to the sledgehammer's warm embrace and call it a day. Zzzzzzzz….

SCORE: 2 out of 4 special effects attacking without mercy


Anonymous said...

This review is a bit off. Of course any battle beween Dracula and Helsing is going to be fake's fantasy....hey! The question is how well it's done, and it was breathtaking visuals without a stupid soppy hollywood ending. I thought it was exciting most of the way, though I take the point about too much of a good thing on the visuals. I think it deserves better than you gave it.

Anonymous said...

..this is not a movie ..its one long slash/gore/action sequence....good rating