Thursday, June 29, 2006

"McBain" review

McBain (1991)

Directed by James Glickenhaus
Writing credits James Glickenhaus

Chick Vennera.... Santos
Michael Ironside.... Frank Bruce
Christopher Walken.... McBain

I bought this one from Blockbuster for three bucks. The title "McBain" instantly made me think about the McBain character from "The Simpsons". In the various clips they showed on the show, McBain was always trying to take down Latin drug kingpin Mendoza. "MEEEENNNNDDDOOOOOZZAA!!" I was hoping Walken was going to do a Schwarzenegger impersonation while gunning down insane amounts of Colombians. Well, there's no Arnold impersonation but Walken does get the lead out. Of his machine gun that is.

This is a ridiculous B-action movie. When you see Walken hanging out in the jungles of Colombia wearing a Hawaiian shirt, you'll be laughing. Walken is asked to come to Colombia to settle some scores. His old army buddy was killed there and Walken decides he owes him a violent revolution. So a handful of guys take on the Colombian army. It's a B-movie war.

If you're into insane B-movie body counts and idiotic action scenes, you'll get into this one. If you need more coherence and logic in your action flicks, steer clear.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 McBains!


platyjoe said...

You know, the whole 3-dollar thing at Blockbuster/Hollywood video is about the coolest thing that has happened to me in many years....

I'm glad you turned me on to it.

Dr. Gore ( said...

Three bucks and a Blockbuster. What else does a B-movie fan need? Have fun.

some guy named Jake said...

I've wanted to see this for years, after catching a trailer on a videotape of another horrendous B movie. I've really, really wanted to see it ever since I heard that it was made after "The Simpsons" invented McBain. A movie made by people that oblivious (or possibly crafty) has got to be wonderfully bad.

But what I want to know is...WTF is that dinosaur doing on the DVD cover?

Dr. Gore ( said...

The Colombian army had to bring out their secret weapon to deal with McBain. They went to Jurassic Park and stole a T-Rex. Little did they know that McBain eats dinosaurs for breakfast.

Either that or it was in the background of whatever amusement park they shot this movie in.

Anonymous said...

Actually, the makers of this movie forced the Simpsons to stop using the McBain character/movie. Cos, obviously, you don't want a huge pop culture phenom referencing your shitty movie.

Dr. Gore ( said...

Yeah, that kind of massive publicity would just kill the artistic integrity of this film. Besides, Walken wearing a Hawaiian shirt in the middle of the jungle is all the publicity you need.

Anonymous said...

i am colombian, and believe me not even chuck norris can defeat our guerrilla.

Dr. Gore ( said...

Don't underestimate McBain. Many a guerilla army has fallen by thinking a guy in a Hawaiian shirt can't be an inhuman killing machine too. A vacation for McBain is just another excuse to massacre people.

some guy named ... said...

Ha. I still think the original Simpson's "McBain Movie" is better: