Saturday, June 10, 2006

"Jacqueline Hyde" review

Jacqueline Hyde (2005)

Directed by Rolfe Kanefsky
Writing credits Rolfe Kanefsky

Gwen Davis.... Cocktail Waitress
James Ferris.... Carl
Gabriella Hall.... Jackie Hyde
Blythe Metz.... Jaqueline Hyde

Here’s a movie that knows how to sell itself to a guy like me. First, it has a big UNRATED VERSION on the top of the DVD cover. Then, it has the name GARBIELLA HALL written underneath that. Now there’s a woman I’d like to see transformed into a sex monster that will “LOVE YOU TO DEATH!” That’s what’s written at the bottom of the cover. All in all, this movie brings out the shameless hard sell. So naturally I bought it.

Gabriella inherits a big house from her dead grandfather. It turns out that granddad was an amateur chemist and was cooking up a potent sex potion. Formula 55 will let you change your body into whomever you wish. Shy Gabriella takes a swig of it and becomes sexy Jacqueline, (Blythe Metz). Metz decides she likes her ability to take over Gabriella’s body and wants to keep it. This leads to a lot of arguing and yelling as the two personalities do battle with each other for dominance. Who will win? Either way is good with me.

Ah Gabriella Hall. I remember the days when she would be the one who turned into the sex monster. Well, I say she still looks good! Dang it! All right, Metz is a hot babe. She makes a good sex beast. The problem for Gabriella is that she’s acting like such a pathetic loser in this flick that it’s hard to root for her to get her body back. Metz was taking charge of things and I wanted to leave the movie in her hands. I especially enjoyed Metz’s visit to the strip club. That was a good night out on the town. Jacqueline knows how to party. Overall, “Jacqueline Hyde” is pretty entertaining. Gabriella likes variety and turns into some other sexy naked women as well. You can’t fault her for that. One scene has her turn into a man so she can have sex with a girl. Oh that Gabriella. So inquisitive. “Jacqueline Hyde” is not a classic but its fun to watch. It keeps the nudity flowing as hot Jacqueline starts dominating Jackie. It’s worth a look.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 Jackie/Jacquelines

One last thing, I went to Crazy Girls, (the strip club in the movie), a couple of weeks ago. Let me tell you something. It's not that crazy anymore. I don't know what it used to be like but when I was there, there was no stripping going on! You heard that right. No stripping in the strip club. I think there is some lame rule now that they can only strip in the back. There were idiots actually throwing dollar bills at fully clothed women! I could walk down the street and do that! Suffice to say, I will never go back there.

Unfortunately, nothing like this happened when I was there.


Michael Whiteacre said...

You definitely missed its glory days, it would seem. BTW, in case you didn't already know, Crazy Girls is where they filmed the part of Pulp Fiction with Ving Rhames and Bruce Willis.

Dr. Gore ( said...

It makes me sad that I missed Crazy Girls at its craziest. Didn't know that about "Pulp Fiction" but I will watch the movie again to catch it.