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Saturday, January 27, 2007

"Emmanuelle 3: A Lesson in Love" review

Emmanuelle 3: A Lesson in Love (1994)

Directed by David Cove
Writing credits Emmanuelle Arsan

Krista Allen .... Emmanuelle
Paul Michael Robinson .... Captain Haffron Williams
Tiendra Demian .... Tasha


(Singing): E-man-u-elle…Queen of the Galaxy…E-man-u-elle…you think you know everything. (End Singing) Ahh Emmanuelle, the hottest woman on Earth. The only woman who can help a spaceship full of intergalactic dorks understand human love. Not only does Emmanuelle have sex better than anyone else, she also says the word sex better than anyone in the galaxy. “A toast, to the joys and pleasures of seXXXX.” She hits the X hard and holds onto it. My God Emmanuelle. Is there anything you don’t know?

Emmanuelle is trapped on the satellite of love so she can help these space travelers understand why humans want to have sex with her. Come on you alien dorks! Look at her! You’re telling me you can build a spaceship with teleportation devices and you can’t understand why Krista Allen is so dang hot! These aliens have a lot to learn. Fortunately for them, Emmanuelle is a very patient teacher and loves droning on and on about seXXXX. She takes one of the female crewmembers under her wing and guides her into many erotic adventures around the world.

The Emmanuelle movies are based on the worldly Emmanuelle and her escapades in exotic locations. This time, Emmanuelle is in outer space with a bunch of voyeurs who can’t wait to put their headsets on so that they can have a virtual party with her. Now that Emmanuelle is in space, it makes it easy for her to teleport to many parts of the globe so she can keep her sex education going.

The problem is that Emmanuelle loses interest in seXXXX about 30 minutes into the movie. She must have had enough. She’s seen it all, she’s done it all. The rest of the movie has her eager student making it with various muscle bound behemoths around the world. A bullfighter, an artist, a director and some other guys I don’t want to look at. Emmanuelle stays back on the ship and pops on a headset for herself. This is not what I was looking for.

Emmanuelle does have one good scene with her female friend. I love the way she arches her back to bring her student closer to her body. My God Emmanuelle. You do know a thing or two about seXXXX. But the rest of the movie was disappointing. Also, the inherent nature of the sex scenes in the “Emmanuelle” movies emphasizes romantic love. Every scene is shot like it’s a swooning love story, even if the couple just met five minutes ago.

Overall, this Emmanuelle can be skipped. I need to find one that has more scenes of Emmanuelle teaching by example. I learn better that way too.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 E-man-u-elles...Queen of the bedrooms...E-man-u-elles

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