Thursday, December 14, 2006

"Kristy Comes Home" review

Kristy Comes Home (2005)

Directed by Francis Locke

Tabitha Stevens
Shyla (as Amanda Auclair)
Brittany Skye (as Brittney Skye)

I bought this DVD. I bought it because I needed some more Amanda Auclair, (Shyla), in my life. “Kristy Comes Home” has Amanda on the cover while a guy looks over his shoulder. She is also featured on the back of the DVD. Logically, I figured she was the star of this movie and probably played a girl named Kristy.

How wrong I was. Kristy was actually played by Tabitha Stevens. She’s the hot star who is being courted to be in an insane producer’s next film. “Kristy Comes Home” consists of about five different scenes of a dumbstruck director and a hyperactive producer auditioning girls to star in their movie after Kristy leaves for Cancun. I’m not ruining anything by telling you that Kristy comes home at the end. The title "Kristy Comes Home" spells out everything you need to know. Oh, except for the small fact that Amanda is not the star of this movie.

Now, if I was the producer, I would have been begging Amanda to be in my movie. I really wanted to watch “Amanda Comes Home”. Her sex scene was the best in the movie. She has great breasts. My God, they’re magnificent. And she always looks like she’s having a good time. She is clearly the girl you should be on your knees pleading for. One thing that is rare for these movies is how entertained I was by the non-sex scenes. The guy playing the producer was hilarious. “That was great! I’m in tears! I’m going to buy some tissues. Great! Except I don’t want to be crying. Let’s try something else. Go to page 56.” He had me laughing. The director was good too. He had a completely baffled look on his face when the producer was going off on him.

But as a softcore flick, “Kristy Comes Home” is not that great. It has the director auditioning a girl while the producer goes insane. Then the director and the girl have sex. The end. Amanda is the second girl he auditions/has sex with and it rocks the house. The rest of the scenes were fair at best. There’s not a lot of variety here. Amanda, please come home. We need a couple more auditions.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 Amanda auditions

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