Thursday, December 28, 2006

"Secret Desires of a Housewife" review

Secret Desires of a Housewife (2004)

Directed by Francis Locke

Beverly Lynne
Evan Moore

I bought this DVD. I bought it because I needed to see what secret desires Beverly Lynne had. Guess what? Her secret desires involve sex. Although this time, she actually just wants to watch. Now Beverly is playing the voyeur as other people get it on for her pleasure.

So Beverly and her friend start a webcam business. Beverly gets to be the horny webmaster while her friend auditions people in front of the camera. This is all Beverly’s secret desire as she’s afraid to tell her new husband that she has hardcore voyeuristic tendencies. It all ends with her husband helping fulfill Beverly’s secret desire by having some webcam sex with her hot girlfriend. What a guy.

“Secret Desires of a Housewife” is pretty ho-hum. The only good scene is the first sex scene with Beverly. She walks into the bedroom in the first five minutes of the movie and has some marital bliss with her hubby. This scene is shot in a very slow, lovey dovey kind of way. Usually this would make me retch but it allows the real voyeur here, (me), to linger on Beverly’s body. This is the only Beverly Lynne sex scene in the movie as the rest of the time she is logged onto the webcam watching and watching and watching…She likes to watch. The rest of the movie is a letdown. Beverly stares at her computer as various exhibitionists have sex on her webcam. She was turned on by it all but I was not. This movie also breaks one of the cardinal rules of softcore filmmaking by having the same couple have sex twice. This might not have been so bad if the couple was worth watching. When the first audition was over, Beverly’s friend shouts out, “You are hired!”. I’m not sure if we were watching the same couple. I would have fired them on the spot. I also would have had the guy arrested for impersonating a softcore actor. Oh man, it was bad.

Overall, “Secret Desires of a Housewife” is not worth the time. If you’re in desperate need of some more Beverly Lynne in your life, it may be worth a little something.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 Beverly's in the bedroomBeverly, Beverly, Beverly.


Anonymous said...

Good review man. Keep it up!

Dr. Gore ( said...