Wednesday, December 27, 2006

"Feast" review

Feast (2005)

Directed by John Gulager
Writing credits Marcus Dunstan Patrick Melton

Duane Whitaker.... Boss Man
Balthazar Getty.... Bozo
Henry Rollins.... Coach
Eileen Ryan.... Grandma
Jason Mewes.... Himself
Judah Friedlander.... Beer Guy
Clu Gulager.... Bartender
Krista Allen.... Tuffy
Jenny Wade.... Honey Pie

My brother and I watched “Feast” the other day as part of a triple B-movie marathon. It didn’t start off as a triple feature. Eventually, it just kind of evolved into one. That’s what happens when you rent five movies and are not that sleepy. You’ve just got to keep the party going. My brother looked at me after every movie and said, “Are you going to go to sleep or you got one more in you?” I was game. After seven or so beers, so was he. “Feast” was followed by “Abominable” and then “Motor Home Massacre”.

“Feast” is about monsters attacking people in a bar. The end. It is a simple, stripped down, gory monster flick. No frills. No fuss. Just blood and guts. The who, what, where and why of the monster’s reason for being or attacking is not discussed. When you get down to it, it’s not that important. What is important is that monsters are ripping people apart as disgustingly as possible. “Feast” delivers the monster thrills.

I thoroughly enjoyed “Feast”. This is the kind of B-movie I always dream about renting. This movie completely understands its audience. The monsters attack without mercy and the people fight for their lives. Done and done. There were many fine gore scenes in this one. The most disgusting had to be the horny little monster going to town on the woman’s face. Then she spits out his monster love juice. Yuck-o. That had us cringing. And laughing.

“Feast” is a must see for B-movie fans. It has everything you could want from a monster movie. Monsters? Check. Blood? Lots of it. Dismemberments? Absolutely. Emmanuelle, (Krista Allen), with a shotgun pounding a monsters face in? Heck yeah! The only thing missing from “Feast” is some gratuitous nudity. They had a lot of hot babes in this one, especially Krista, and no nudity. But with this much senseless bloodshed going on, I can let it go and just enjoy the mayhem.

SCORE: 3.5 out of 4 killer Kristas


the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

dr. gore have you seen the quite magnificent sequel to "feast"? namely "feast 2: sloppy seconds" it is absolutely superb, my favorite bit is when the monster spunks all over the gorgeous sexy young girls, that was marvellous.

Dr. Gore ( said...

Haven't seen "Feast 2" but I have it in the Netflix queue. In fact, I have moved it near the top. Should be in the next round of movies. I'm going to need some sloppy seconds too.

Pagan said...

Save yourself the pain, miss Feast II and II. Where Feast was truly and excellent movie the sequels sucked, I mean really sucked. I mean what the hell happened? It's clearly an example of milking the success of the first with putting zero effort into trying to produce a watchable movie, only milk what you can off of the first.

Anonymous said...

I have to say of all the roles Henry Rollins has played *or attempted to, depending on who you're asking*, he was ideal as the motivational speaker. And I musn't forget those ladies' sweatpants.

Anonymous said...

I have watched the first half of Feast II and can safely say that it is every bit as awesome as the first. I don't know what the haters are going on about. It also has one of the most memorable baby-toss scenes around.