"Emmanuelle in Rio" review

Emmanuelle in Rio (2003)

Directed by Kevin Alber

Writing credits Kevin Alber

Ludmilla Ferraz.... Emmanuelle

I saw this on cable the other day. (Singing): E-mman-u-elle...Queen of the galaxy. Oops. Wrong Emmanuelle. I wanted Krista Allen but instead I got Ludmilla. That's right. Ludmilla Ferraz. I don't know either. She may very well be the worst actress of all time. That's a bold statement. You really have to stink up the screen to win that distinction. This Emmanuelle delivers the stink.

So Emmanuelle is a photographer hanging out in Rio. She takes pictures, she gets laid, you know the drill. In between terrible sex scenes, we get a lot of shots of Rio de Janeiro. "City of God" strived for the stark realism of life in the Rio slums but I think this film really captured the bleak despair of living in Rio while making an impotent sex film. At any rate, the Rio scenes were more interesting than the sex. Where is Krista Allen when I need her? This movie almost blasted me into a coma. Beam up to Krista's love ship and leave Rio in the dust.

SCORE: LANDFILL