Saturday, January 27, 2007

"The Mummy's Kiss: 2nd Dynasty" review

The Mummy's Kiss: 2nd Dynasty (2006)

Directed by Donald F. Glut
Writing credits Donald F. Glut

Mark Bedell.... Jack
Stacy Berk.... Susan
Belinda Gavin.... Dr. Zita Furneaux
Lorielle New.... Peggy
Christine Nguyen.... Elyse Lam
Cindy Pucci.... Tanya

Belinda Gavin needs women. She’s a horny professor looking for the Egyptian fountain of youth. The only way to wipe that gray out of her hair is to have sex with a lot of women and steal their soul light. She prays to a large floppy breasted goddess and her two topless twin servants to show her the way to eternal youth. They tell her it’s all about the Mummy’s Kiss. You jumpstart the mummy with a kiss and it’ll go out and pick up some hot chicks for you to soul suck. Many blondes get dragged into the museum of love while the hot Asian girl from “Ghost in a Teeny Bikini”, (Christine Nguyen), snoops around for a story.

“The Mummy’s Kiss: 2nd Dynasty” is about lesbians and a mummy. There’s a half-hearted attempt to make it into some sort of suspenseful flick, complete with hair-raising music when the mummy appears, but this attempt fails completely as the mummy inspires only great laughter. Actually, the mummy is not important to the movie. It’s just an undead pimp who shuffles along and brings the women to Belinda.

Speaking of women, this is where the movie shines. The first sex scene has two blondes getting cozy at home. They display some fake acting and even faker breasts but they know what to do in bed. I enjoyed that scene. The other sex scenes have Belinda taking each blonde for a ride at the museum so she can suck their blonde power out of them. It all ends with a triumphant four way as Christine Nguyen gets smothered with zombie blondes at the museum. This was the highlight of the movie. Of course it was. You didn’t need me to tell you that but I wanted to anyway.

As for the rest of the movie, it was pretty lame. “The Mummy’s Kiss: 2nd Dynasty” has plenty of bad acting to torment you as you wait for another sex scene to start. I doubt there was more than one take for some of these scenes. If the scene didn’t involve two women kissing each other, the filmmakers were not that interested. As a matter of fact, neither was I. But the good news is that the sex scenes are decent with plenty of blonde women groping and licking each others naked blonde bodies. I can’t totally condemn a movie with this many naked women grinding on top of each other.

So if you always wanted to watch a softcore lesbian flick with a mummy hanging around in the background, this is the movie for you. If you’re a little more demanding in your Sapphic delights, you can let this mummy go.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 triple teaming zombie blondes

"Stripped to Kill II" review

Stripped to Kill II (1989)
AKA Stripped to Kill II: Live Girls

Directed by Katt Shea
Writing credits Andy Ruben Katt Shea

Maria Ford .... Shady
Eb Lottimer .... Sergeant Decker
Karen Mayo-Chandler .... Cassandra
Marjean Holden .... Something Else
Birke Tan .... Dazzle

I bought this video for three bucks. Maria Ford is a distraught stripper. She dreams about killing strippers with a razor blade in her mouth. She works at an elaborate club which has long drawn out dance numbers but thankfully ends with the women taking their tops off. At least they remembered the most important part. All of this naked dancing is giving Maria nightmares of murdered strippers. Soon some of the ladies start turning up dead with razor blade cuts to their necks. Maria starts wondering if she could have stripped to kill her friends in her sleep.

“Stripped to Kill 2” is a typical straight to video thriller. It’s not too terrible but it’s nothing to get worked up over either. Maria Ford is the sole reason I spent my precious three dollars on it. Unfortunately, she does not look as smoking hot as she did in the Ford classic, “I Like to Play Games Too”. She’s a redhead in this one and it is not working for her. Long blonde hair is the only way to go for Maria. She does have one good scene where she is stripping on stage while pretending to be a tiger. She looks good on all fours. This was the highlight of “Stripped to Kill 2”.

The rest of the movie has various strippers in various stages of undress while Maria Ford has a nervous breakdown over the possibility of being a mad stripper killer. Distraught is not the right emotion for Maria Ford to be projecting. I’m thinking horny would be better. Yeah. Horny, lust-filled, even angry would be preferable to sad, despondent, and guilt ridden. The cops grind away at the murder case while the strippers grind away on stage and still Maria can’t stop weeping.

“Stripped to Kill 2” can be skipped. The murder mystery is uninteresting and the other strippers didn’t do much for me. Unless you’re a die hard Maria Ford fan, you can let this one go.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 deadly strippers

"Smokin' Aces" review

Smokin' Aces (2006)

Directed by Joe Carnahan
Writing credits Joe Carnahan

Ben Affleck.... Jack Dupree
Jason Bateman.... Rip Reed
Common.... Sir Ivy
Andy Garcia.... Stanley Locke
Alex Rocco.... Serna
Alicia Keys.... Georgia Sykes
Ray Liotta.... Donald Carruthers
Jeremy Piven.... Buddy 'Aces' Israel
Peter Berg.... "Pistol" Pete Deeks
Ryan Reynolds.... Richard Messner

A bunch of assassins converge on a hotel in Lake Tahoe to kill Ari Gold. He’s gone from Las Vegas magician to ruthless mob boss. A common turn of events to be sure. A $1 million bounty has been placed on Ari Aces. The mob wants his heart. This brings out many colorful hit men and hit women to try to collect. The FBI tries to save him from this army of killers as some convoluted plot works itself out.

“Smoking Aces” is, to put it mildly, over the top. The assassins run the gauntlet of movie villains. Alicia Keys shows up with her lesbian sidekick to take Aces out via blaxploitation style. Since he can’t resist a fine foxy mama like Alicia, they’re sure they’ve got it in the bag. Then there are the inbred cousins who show up out of some 70’s drive-in movie, possibly “Gator Bait”. They’ve got chainsaws and love to use them. There is also a super assassin from Italy and another who is a master of disguise. All of these bloodthirsty maniacs check into the hotel to take Ari out.

“Smoking Aces” is a wired movie. It throws as much as it can at the screen to see if any of it will stick. It is a stylistic overload of different movie genres and outrageous violence.

Needless to say, I enjoyed this film immensely. Watching super agent Ari “Aces” Gold duck and cover from hit men is what good times are made of. Normally when I see a director feel the need to show off as bad as this one did, I get turned off by his explosion of style. This time it works because “Smoking Aces” keeps the bullets flying and the bodies bleeding. Gangster movie fans will get a kick out of this one. It’s worth a look.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 smokin Ari's

"Emmanuelle 3: A Lesson in Love" review

Emmanuelle 3: A Lesson in Love (1994)

Directed by David Cove
Writing credits Emmanuelle Arsan

Krista Allen .... Emmanuelle
Paul Michael Robinson .... Captain Haffron Williams
Tiendra Demian .... Tasha

(Singing): E-man-u-elle…Queen of the Galaxy…E-man-u-elle…you think you know everything. (End Singing) Ahh Emmanuelle, the hottest woman on Earth. The only woman who can help a spaceship full of intergalactic dorks understand human love. Not only does Emmanuelle have sex better than anyone else, she also says the word sex better than anyone in the galaxy. “A toast, to the joys and pleasures of seXXXX.” She hits the X hard and holds onto it. My God Emmanuelle. Is there anything you don’t know?

Emmanuelle is trapped on the satellite of love so she can help these space travelers understand why humans want to have sex with her. Come on you alien dorks! Look at her! You’re telling me you can build a spaceship with teleportation devices and you can’t understand why Krista Allen is so dang hot! These aliens have a lot to learn. Fortunately for them, Emmanuelle is a very patient teacher and loves droning on and on about seXXXX. She takes one of the female crewmembers under her wing and guides her into many erotic adventures around the world.

The Emmanuelle movies are based on the worldly Emmanuelle and her escapades in exotic locations. This time, Emmanuelle is in outer space with a bunch of voyeurs who can’t wait to put their headsets on so that they can have a virtual party with her. Now that Emmanuelle is in space, it makes it easy for her to teleport to many parts of the globe so she can keep her sex education going.

The problem is that Emmanuelle loses interest in seXXXX about 30 minutes into the movie. She must have had enough. She’s seen it all, she’s done it all. The rest of the movie has her eager student making it with various muscle bound behemoths around the world. A bullfighter, an artist, a director and some other guys I don’t want to look at. Emmanuelle stays back on the ship and pops on a headset for herself. This is not what I was looking for.

Emmanuelle does have one good scene with her female friend. I love the way she arches her back to bring her student closer to her body. My God Emmanuelle. You do know a thing or two about seXXXX. But the rest of the movie was disappointing. Also, the inherent nature of the sex scenes in the “Emmanuelle” movies emphasizes romantic love. Every scene is shot like it’s a swooning love story, even if the couple just met five minutes ago.

Overall, this Emmanuelle can be skipped. I need to find one that has more scenes of Emmanuelle teaching by example. I learn better that way too.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 E-man-u-elles...Queen of the bedrooms...E-man-u-elles

Friday, January 26, 2007

"Witchcraft 666: The Devil's Mistress" review

Witchcraft 666: The Devil's Mistress (1994)
AKA Witchcraft VI

Directed by Julie Davis
Writing credits Julie Davis Peter E. Fleming

Jerry Spicer .... Will Spanner
Debra K. Beatty .... Keli
Shannon McLeod .... Cat
Stephanie Swinney .... Mary

I was strolling through the video store the other day when I came upon “Witchcraft 666”. The front cover of the DVD has many blurbs on it to catch your attention. The first one I noticed, (and the whole reason I bought this DVD), was an oval shaped endorsement from Mr. Skin. It said that “Witchcraft 666” is “A Mr. Skin pick to click”. Whatever the heck that meant, it sounded good to me. The other blurb that caught my attention was “From the director of “Amy’s O” Julie Davis”. This is an endorsement? Why would they think anybody buying “Witchcraft 666” would care that the director of “Amy’s O” made this movie? Maybe it was put on there as a joke. It almost made me put the movie back on the shelf. Almost…

“Witchcraft 666” is about breasts and the devil worshippers who love them. Young girls who like to wear crosses are targeted by a cult of satanic fiends. Satan wants a mistress and he only likes virgins. His loyal cult members scour Los Angeles for girls wearing crosses because any girl who wears one must be a virgin. It turns out their information is incorrect as they keep having to kill the girls for not being pure enough to please their evil master. Will Spanner gets pulled into these diabolical shenanigans because the police are baffled by the occult killings. Will tries to help lead the cops to the killer as woman after woman rips their bras off for the devil.

Well, on the one hand, “Witchcraft 666” breezes right along and doesn’t cause too much stress to my internal organs as I’m watching it. So that’s positive. But nothing much happens in “Witchcraft 666”. There are plenty of breasts bouncing around to distract you from this fact. When the movie was over, I realized I had just watched a whole lot of nothing. There’s a massive cult, (three people), picking up innocent girls and trying to massage a demonic pentagram into their stomachs. That’s the movie. Thrilling eh? While I can’t recommend “Witchcraft 666”, I can tell you that Mr. Skin seemed to like it and for good reason. But since nothing much else happened in between the breast scenes, “Witchcraft 666” can be skipped.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 demonic massagesGiant red breast attacking Spanner. Is there no end to the evil this man must face?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

"Kinky Kong" review

Kinky Kong (2006)

Directed by John Bacchus
Writing credits John Bacchus Michael Raso

Darian Caine
Anthony Crescenzo .... Proprietor
Sabrina Faine .... Fanny Sparrow
John Paul Fedele
Molly Heartbreaker .... Native Girl
Johnny Irons .... Adult Film Star
A.J. Khan .... Brunhilda Patel
Alexia Moore .... Adult Film Star

“Kinky Kong” is easily the funniest movie Seduction Cinema has cranked out. The two guys hunting down Kinky Kong were hilarious. But my horny friends, you know and I know that being funny is not what you need from a skin flick. Granted, it’s nice to have a laugh in between the sex scenes but “Kinky Kong” decides to pump up the volume on the comedy and forsake the skin flick satisfaction.

“Kinky Kong” is a spoof of “King Kong”. If you hadn’t figured that out already, you’ve got issues. It’s really all the plot description you need. They go to an island, have some sex, find a giant gorilla wearing a diaper, have some more sex, haul the kinky ape back to NYC and exploit him and the naked women for all they’re worth.

Sabrina Faire is the new Seduction Cinema girl who dominates “Kinky Kong”. She pops up in most of the sex scenes including ones with A.J. Khan, Darian Caine and a slew of others. She’s easily one of the prettiest girls to grace a Seduction Cinema flick. Nice hair, great body, long legs, looks great in a bikini, etc.But she’s also proof positive that looks aren’t everything. Her sex scenes lack a certain something. Oh, I don’t know, like energy, excitement or perhaps just a lack of giving the viewers even the slightest inkling that she’s actually enjoying herself. She needs to go back to Softcore University and get some refresher courses. Have her enroll in Professor A.J. Khan’s advanced class in Cunnilingus. She needs to learn some sex magic from a real freak. And while you’re at it, sign me up too.

But the real reason for the failure of “Kinky Kong” does not rest on Sabrina’s naked body. The real show stopper is the disastrous filmmaking techniques employed during the sex scenes. “Kinky Kong” wins my award for the most over produced sex flick of the year. First of all, the camera will not stop moving! Stop dive-bombing in on the action and take a couple of seconds to enjoy the view. The soundtrack during the sex scenes is also a dud. All of the sound effects are amplified to the point of ridiculousness. So if one girl kisses another you get a kissing sound like they're yodeling it down the Grand Canyon. If all this terribleness wasn’t enough, the lighting is also horrific. The ladies are lit like they’re glowing in Heaven. All of these tricks only make the sex scenes in “Kinky Kong” look fake.

In conclusion, “Kinky Kong” did not do it for me. Not one sex scene excited me. This is an unprecedented disaster. It’s a shame too because I was looking forward to seeing what A.J. could do with a horny monkey. I’m going to give “Kinky Kong” a 1.5 only because I laughed a few times and there was a lot of nudity. “Kinky Kong” is competently made but if the sex scenes don’t deliver, it’s not worth a heck of lot. Kinky Kong seemed to get off on it but I’m harder to please.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 easy to please Kongs

"A Chinese Torture Chamber Story" review

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1995)
AKA Mun ching sap daai huk ying

Directed by Bosco Lam
Writing credits Cheuk Bing

Julie Lee.... Ki Dan-Fung
Siu-Kei Lee.... Supreme Court Judge
Ching Mai.... Scholar's wife
Lawrence Ng.... Scholar - Yeung Naai Miu
Elvis Tsui.... Win Chung-Lung

“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” has been sitting on my pile of movies to watch for years. I’ve got quite the backlog. I used to have it on video but I gave it to my brother. He loved it. He loved it so much that he had to call me at 3:00 in the morning to let me know how good it was. He and his buddies were having a drunken torture chamber party. They had just finished watching it and needed to scream their approval into my answering machine, “That movie was great! We just wanted you to know. With the flying in the air and the horse…ohhhhh, OH! Thanks! Thank you!” So now, finally, I have witnessed what drove my brother into torture chamber ecstasy.

A woman is accused of murder. The only way to get a confession out of her is to torture her in the most sadistic way possible. Only through exquisite agony will she confess her sins. She tries to tell the judge the truth but he’s having too much fun putting the boot to her head. As her story unfolds, we come to realize that she is just a precious flower living in a cruel world. This calls for more torture! As she continues to get beaten down, we are treated to various flashbacks from her life. They’re mostly flashbacks of sex, nudity, whippings, and of course, two master kung fu fighters having supersonic sex up in the trees.

“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” is a manic exploitation movie. It’s not satisfied just showing you scenes of torture as its delirious title might lead you to believe. Oh no. You get plenty of bang for your buck with this one. There are copious amounts of naked women having sweaty sex while the subtitles make you crack up laughing. Watching the English language get savaged while all this insanity was going on made the movie that much sweeter.The best scene had to be the two kung fu fighters having a sex showdown.


They start off sword fighting up in the trees. Then the woman challenges the man to see if he can satisfy her. They fly at each other and start copulating at light speed. He drags her through the trees and is humping her like a superhero. Well, he’s my hero anyway. Then he throws her on the ground to show her some more moves. It all ends with his horny groundhog move and some electrical ejaculation. My God this scene was brilliant. I couldn’t tell you exactly why this scene was important to a movie about a Chinese torture chamber. But then again, what other movie could it have possibly fit into?


“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” is a fine exploitation flick. It’s also hilarious because of the sincerity of the actors in totally ludicrous situations. One of the last flashbacks has the woman trying to get her husband off. This selfless act just might save his life. What a woman. But while this is going on, I swear I heard what sounded like the Chinese Musak version of “Unchained Melody” blasting in the background. I was laughing like a madman.

“A Chinese Torture Chamber Story” is well worth seeing. It’s sick, sleazy and full of laughs.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 for good times in the torture chamber

Justice is not blind. Your nakedness just might save the innocents.

One last thought,

"2001 Maniacs" review

2001 Maniacs (2005)

Directed by Tim Sullivan
Writing credits Chris Kobin Tim Sullivan

Robert Englund.... Mayor Buckman
Lin Shaye .... Granny Boone
Giuseppe Andrews .... Harper Alexander
Jay Gillespie .... Anderson Lee
Marla Malcolm .... Joey (as Marla Leigh Malcom)
Dylan Edrington .... Nelson Elliot
Matthew Carey .... Cory Jones
Peter Stormare .... Professor Ackerman
Gina Marie Heekin .... Kat

A bunch of college students take a detour on their way to spring break. They end up in Robert Englund’s southern town. Trouble lies ahead. For some reason, they take it on faith that a bunch of wackos dressed like they just stepped out of the Civil War want to make them the guests of honor at their festival. The Guts and Glory festival is about to start with lots of college student guts as the main course.

It’s hard not to like “2001 Maniacs”. It’s nowhere close to being a horror film but the maniacs enjoy causing bodily harm so much that their sick bliss starts to get infectious. “2001 Maniacs” treats anybody getting violently killed as the most hilarious thing you ever saw. Bodies are mutilated with great joy. It does not skimp on the red stuff.


One of the first gore scenes involves a girl with her hands and feet tied to the end of the four horses of her apocalypse.She thought she was going to have a roll in the hay with one of the southern gentlemen but he had other plans for her body. Namely, to rip her to pieces. Hey, they needed something to eat. It even ends with him paraphrasing the famous ending line from “Gone with the Wind”. If that’s not class then I don’t know what is.


I had a good time watching “2001 Maniacs”. Any horror fan will get into it. It’s surely not the scariest movie ever made. Actually, it’s not even trying to be scary. It just wants to show you a good gory time with Mayor Englund and his hungry maniacs. You can’t blame it for that.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 maniacsAnd of course, here's my favorite scene:

Ahh, kissing cousins. Would any movie about maniacs in a southern town be complete without them?


"Care for some milk with your pie"? HAHAHAHA! Ahh. Brings a tear to my eye to hear such quality innuendo. And the answer is yes. Yes I would.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"Flowers on the Razorwire" review

Flowers on the Razorwire (2004)

Directed by Hart D. Fisher

Wanda Curtis
Fred D'Amico
Mitsuho Otani

I was given this DVD as a birthday present. It makes me feel good that I have friends out there who know we so well. The tagline on the front of the DVD says, “Sooner or later…Everybody Bleeds.” I can only imagine what went through my friends minds when they saw that tagline and thought of me. It probably went something like this, “Here’s something that nut Dr. Gore would like. Hot woman on the cover, the promise of bloodshed, it’s all here for him.” Happy Birthday indeed.

“Flowers on the Razorwire” is a short film. It runs thirty minutes. It’s about a psychotic dominatrix named Flower who tortures a guy so that she can get him to tell her a scary story. He tells the tale of a hot Asian woman being trapped in an elevator with a possible serial killer. Scary!!! Could he be L.A.’s vicious serial killer everyone is blathering about? Is the hot Asian girl everything she seems? Will this snooze of a story save his life? Not bloody likely.

“Flowers on the Razorwire” plays like a calling card for the filmmakers. There’s not much meat on the bone here. Most of the movie is spent in the elevator where the boiler repairman tries to scare the girl with his knowledge of serial killers. Sorry to say she’s just not that good at conveying fear. It looked more like she was annoyed at possibly being stuck with a psychotic killer. Also, the dominatrix scenes were too brief to get the feeling the guy was getting tortured enough to fight for his life. Of all the stories he could tell, what in the world made him think of this one? Not scary enough for our sick Flower.
Overall, “Flowers on the Razorwire” doesn’t need to be seen. It has a little blood at the beginning and at the end but not enough to warrant a viewing. The DVD looked like it held many sick thrills inside. It was all a tease. Mistress Flower wouldn’t stand for it. Neither should you.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 hot Asians in an elevator

"The Pumpkin Karver" review

The Pumpkin Karver (2006)

Directed by Robert Mann
Writing credits Robert Mann Sheldon Silverstein

Amy Weber .... Lynn Starks
Michael Zara .... Jonathan Starks
Minka Kelly .... Tammy
Terrence Evans .... Ben Wickets
Misty Adams .... Yolanda
Briana Gerber .... Vicki
Charity Shea .... Rachel

A bunch of teens hold a party in a pumpkin patch. You know what happens when teens get together in bunches. It’s carving time. A brother and sister show up at the party to forget about that little fatal incident that happened last Halloween. This pumpkin party will put their minds at ease. The brother starts going insane as he realizes he was born to be a carver. All these dang pumpkins aren’t helping him keep his sanity either. Many teens will pay for inviting this pumpkin freak to the party.

“Pumpkin Karver” is a standard B-flick. Nothing exciting or interesting happens in it. Teens, party, killer, blah, blah, blah. Usually this formula would provide me with the slasher movie entertainment I enjoy but “Pumpkin Karver” forgot to pump up the all important exploitation elements that a B-movie needs to be worth anything. I am of course referring to the foundations of B-cinema, sex and violence.

There’s no nudity in “Pumpkin Karver”. Drunken teens at a slasher movie party always need to be horny teens. Never forget that. They even had three girls dress up as Charlie’s Angels but no nudity. One scene had the sexiest girl teasing a dork but she wouldn’t flash her angels. There were a lot of other hot girls in this one but no skin in the pumpkin patch. Tragic.

The kills in “Pumpkin Karver” are weak. The movie grinds on with some ludicrous budding love story while the viewer waits impatiently for a madman with a pumpkin on his head to appear. The killer doesn’t even show himself until an hour has dragged by. When he finally showed himself, I had gotten fed up with his incompetent slashing skills and needed the movie to end.

The only good thing to say about “Pumpkin Karver” is that it had some nice gore at the end when you finally get to see why they bothered calling this movie “Pumpkin Karver”. The teens get permanent smiles thanks to the carver. But the movie is so bland for a slasher flick that it’s not worth sitting through to see it. “Pumpkin Karver” won’t hurt you if you decide to watch it but it sure won’t thrill you much either. It can be skipped.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 dead pumpkins

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

"Ghost in a Teeny Bikini" review

Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006)

Directed by Fred Olen Ray
Writing credits Brett Kelly David A. Lloyd

Alexandre Boisvert
Rebecca Love
Ted Newsom .... Constable
Christine Nguyen
Nicole Sheridan .... Ghost
Eric Spudic .... Telegram Boy
Evan Stone

“Ghost in a Teeny Bikini” tells the tale of a ghost in a teeny bikini. It is another skin flick in a long line of skin flicks from your late night cable friend and mine, Nicholas Medina AKA Fred Olen Ray. Ray has now gotten into the groove with these movies. He is the undisputed master of B-movie economics. He cranks out two skin flicks for the price of one and a half. The same cast moves seamlessly from one movie to the next over the span of a week, (maybe two), and slams two flicks into the can and onto Skin-a-max before you can say hot naked chicks rule! This time the gang has made “Ghost in a Teeny Bikini” along with “Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet”. We’re definitely a much better society for these late night contributions to horny insomnia.

“Ghost in a Teeny Bikini” has Nicole Sheridan as the ghost. Yes, her bikini is teeny. Stellar B-movie star Muffin Baker has gotten a telegram that her rich uncle has passed away and she must come up to his estate for the reading of the will. Rebecca Love and the dastardly lawyer are plotting against them. MOO-HA-HA! Thankfully, Nicole the friendly ghost is on Muffin’s side. And in her bed. Many people will fornicate the night away as the reading of the will is pushed aside for more carnal pleasures.

“Ghost in a Teeny Bikini” was decent. This one was actually a little more interested in being an amusing movie than blowing it out with hot sex scenes. They went for something a little different. Let’s put it this way, there were about three scenes of people lip synching to bad songs. It does throw you for a loop to have singing in a skin flick. But the actors were decent in this one, especially the butler who I found to be pretty funny. Muffin wasn't too bad either. Muffin, Muffin, Muffin...

Speaking of hot Muffins, let’s get back to what’s important. Let’s concentrate on the sex. There are two good sex scenes in this one. The rest were fair. The scene with Sheridan and Muffin was good. It went down nice and slow. Sheridan has a great body. But you knew that already. The best sex scene in the movie was with Muffin’s boyfriend and Rebecca Love. I have only one thing to say after seeing Rebecca in action.SHOW ME THE LOVE! Wow. I was a little saddened that she only had one sex scene in the movie. She needed three or four. And one with herself. You hearing me? More Love man. More Love. “Ghost in a Teeny Bikini” is worth a look. It wasn’t the best Medina/Ray softcore flick but it has its points. I’m talking about Love. Lots and lots of Love.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 for a whole lotta Love

Hot Telegram delivering action

Very hot script delivering action

Super hot Tip begging action. She knows how to make a Telegram boy happy.