Thursday, July 12, 2007

"Satanic Yuppies" review

Satanic Yuppies (1996)
AKA Evil Ambitions

Directors: Mark Burchett Michael D. Fox
Writers: Mark Burchett Michael D. Fox

Paul Morris ... Pete McGavin
Amber Newman ... Brittany Drake
David Levy ... Gideon Jessup
Lucy Frashure ... Julie Swanson
Renae Raos ... Detective Leslie Kellog
Glori-Anne Gilbert ... Home Movie Girl 1 (director's cut)
Debbie Rochon ... Madame Natalie

You take your life in your hands when you play Netflix Russian Roulette. A while back I added hundreds of B-movies to my Netflix queue. I have no idea what order they’re in because I want to be surprised when I get the email telling me what’s coming next. So I get the word that “Satanic Yuppies” is in the pipeline and heading my way. I vaguely remember adding this one to the mix. After a quick bit of research, I see that Glori-Ann Gilbert and Debbie Rochon are in it. Ahh hah, that explains my logic in putting it on the list of movie death. So I shoved the satanic bullet into the chamber and gave the barrel a spin. Click. Bam! Thankfully it wasn’t a fatal round of Russian Roulette as parts of the movie saved me from blowing my brains out although “Satanic Yuppies” did leave a scar.

A tabloid reporter is after a hot scoop. He comes across a naked girl with her heart ripped out. This is news! Upon further investigation, it comes to his attention that there could be Satanic Yuppies involved. All roads of inquiry lead back to the only modeling agency in Cincinnati. You know it has to be evil. Some naked women show up to try to seduce him over to the dark side. He’ll have none of it. Well, he’d like some of it but he’d rather have his satanic yuppie headlines.

“Satanic Yuppies” does have a couple of hot women to distract you from the fact that you’re watching a whole lot of nothing. Glori-Ann Gilbert shows up to squirm around naked in a few scenes. Debbie Rochon is the fortune teller who informs the reporter that he’s in a lot of trouble. She does not get naked which was disappointing. Debbie’s breasts could have helped the reporter focus on battling the evil around him. Well, it would have helped me focus on staying awake while watching this movie. But since Debbie decided to gaze into her crystal ball with her clothes on, I started to lose interest. Rapidly.

“Satanic Yuppies” is another prime example of the lame horror comedy. Actually, using the word “horror” to describe this movie would be erroneous. Come to think of it, using the word “comedy” to describe “Satanic Yuppies” would also be giving it too much credit. Let’s just call it lame and move on to the next Netflix disaster.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 satanic yuppies
Satanic modeling.
The Devil wears Armani.

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