Sunday, July 29, 2007

"The Erotic Diary of Misty Mundae" review

The Erotic Diary of Misty Mundae (2004)

Director: Helen Black
Writer: Helen Black

Anoushka ... Sexy Friend
Erin Brown ... Misty Mundae (as Misty Mundae)
Darian Caine ... Fantasy Girl 1
A.J. Khan ... Love Goddess
Julian Wells ... The Teacher

“The Erotic Diary of Misty Mundae” AKA “The Pimping of Misty Mundae” shows Seduction Cinema at its most shameless. They must have had a bunch of sex scenes lying around on the floor and wondered what to do with them. They needed some hook to haphazardly tie them together so they had Mundae blather on about how she has these strange sex fantasies that look a lot like Seduction Cinema clips. They had a couple of scenes of Darian Caine and Mundae going at it along with Ruby Larocca and Anoushka having a good time. Throw in a clip from a Julian Wells flick and they had a rough facsimile of a movie. Buy it suckers!

Seduction Cinema has been sitting on this one for awhile. It must have been stashed away for a rainy day. Now that Mundae has ditched her Misty past for “Erin Brown” town, it’s monsoon season over in Seduction land. Oh, they’ve got other girls in their stable but none that will click with the late night crowd like Mundae. I wish I could say I was one of the Misty fans but I’m not. She does fascinate me though. It’s all part of my never ending quest to understand why guys like her. It’s been explained to me but I still don’t get it. Its hard research but I don’t mind the long hours with Misty and friends.

“The Erotic Pimping of Misty Mundae” has several sex scenes that are (very) loosely tied together by voiceover from Mundae. She seems to have a fascination with Darian Caine so they have three sex scenes together. One scene has them having a pillow fight followed by naked tickling with a huge feather. This part of the diary wasn’t that erotic for me. Mundae also daydreams about Anoushka and Ruby having two sex scenes, one on a bed and one in a bath. The “movie” ends with a Julian Wells/Mundae clip from “Dr Jekyll and Mistress Hyde” which I would normally refer to as filler but that would imply that the rest of the movie wasn’t filler.

So the “Erotic Diary of Misty Mundae” is the first all-filler movie. It’s for people who truly get off on Misty Mundae and need more of her in their lives. Seduction Cinema also pulls the same trick they used in another stinker, “That 70’s Girl”, by showing all the sex scenes in slow motion. This is to cover up the fact that if they ran them at normal speed the movie would have lasted 45 minutes. They even have the nerve to rip-off one of the best sex scenes in “Mistress Hyde” but don’t let it grind on to the best part. The ending of the sex scene had a girl tied up in ropes while Julian went to work on her breasts. Now that my friend would have made a great entry in the erotic diary.

The only thing that saves this diary from getting thrown in the garbage is Anoushka. She has a look that I love. Great breasts, nice body and always knows what to do with the other woman. Even with her sex scenes crawling by in annoying slow motion, I still loved it. As for the rest of the diary, Mundae can keep her slow motion fantasies to herself. Unless you’re crazy for all things Misty, you can let this one go.

One last thought, instead of being credited as Dr Jekyll or Mistress Hyde, Julian Wells is credited as The Teacher. She certainly could teach Mundae a thing or two about the Sapphic arts. This teacher credit is fitting because as you know, Julian Wells invented sex. Well, actually that’s not true. There was sex before Julian Wells. But man, it wasn’t any good.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 love teaching Wells

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