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Monday, July 23, 2007

"The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String" review

The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003)

Director: Terry West
Writer: Terry West

Erin Brown ... Dildo Saggins (as Misty Mundae)
Darian Caine ... Horny
A.J. Khan ... Spam (as A.J. Kahn)
Barbara Joyce ... Araporn
Michael R. Thomas ... Smirnof, the Wizard
John Link ... Ballem
Anoushka ... Benadryl
Allanah Rhodes ... Hymen Torn
Julian Wells... Tree Nymph (as Juliette Charles)
Suzi Lorraine... Drusilla (as Kelli Summers)

Ahh Misty Mundae. That’s right, I said Misty Mundae. I do not, nor will I ever, accept the name “Erin Brown”. It might very well be her real name but I still won’t call her that. It’s Misty forever. There is no escape. It would be a better world if people would look upon starring in a string of lesbian sex flicks as a good thing. I know I have no problems with it. But I guess that’s obvious.

Mundae and friends are Throbbits. It’s kind of like being a Hobbit except you get laid a lot more. They need to destroy the deadly G-String before it falls into the wrong hands. Along the way, the Throbbits take the time to relax from the pressures of G-String destruction and have plenty of sex. One of the first sex scenes has Mundae getting it on with some hairy man. Odds Botkins! That G-String is so powerful its driven lesbian kingpin Mundae insane! Soon she comes back down to earth and gets back to kissing girls. Some other inane plot twists happen and the viewer ignores them in the hope that another sex scene will start soon. Thankfully there are two good sex scenes near the end which save Throbbit town from total destruction at the bottom of my garbage can.

I had to see “Lord of the G-Strings” after my cousin boldly proclaimed that this was the best of the late night Cinemax offerings. He also thinks Mundae is one of the better softcore performers. “Can’t you just let her disrobe in peace?” he said, “At least she doesn’t take it seriously. Most of the late night flicks are just some lame murder mystery with sex thrown in. Misty’s movies are fun. And by the way, her body is fine.” While I respect my cousin’s opinion, he’s also a guy who sees three to four movies a year and is definitely not an expert on late night softcore adventures.

So it’s the casual fans that truly get off on Misty Mundae. She is the non-threatening softcore star. But Mundae does not turn me on and this is a tragedy. You want your softcore stars to have a look and an attitude that screams sex. I look at Mundae and I want to send her packing back to Throbbit town. I’ve bashed Mundae enough in other reviews so I’ll just say that the main Throbbit once again left me cold. Sorry cousin. I can’t agree with you.

That’s not to say there aren’t some good things here. If there is one good thing about Mundae it’s that she is always ready to have an extended kissing session with whomever they put in front of her lips. She also is proficient in the art of licking nipples. And yes, it is an art. There’s a good four-way scene with Mundae, Darian Caine, A.J. Khan and another woman. A.J. is great in this scene as she pairs off with Caine for some extended lovemaking. There’s also a pretty good three-way scene near the end with Mundae, Khan and a TREE NYMPH. It ends the movie with some nice lesbian NYMPH action.

Overall, this was a decent Seduction Cinema flick. It’s got some hot lesbian action, (I love typing that), and some amusing scenes in between the hot lesbian action, (I did it again, WOO-HOO!). It’s worth a look.

One last thought, the IMDb has Julian Wells credited as TREE NYMPH in “Lord of the G-Strings” under the name “Juliette Charles”. This credit is incorrect as I can assure you that Julian is nowhere to be found in Throbbit town. I’d recognize her freckled body anywhere and the TREE NYMPH is not freckled beauty Wells. I believe the TREE NYMPH is actually Isadora Edison from “Suburban Secrets”. I know my Seduction Cinema babes and take my TREE NYMPH credits seriously. Wells may be a nymph, but she’s no TREE NYMPH.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 throbbing Mundaes

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This may well be my favorite Seduction Cinema flick ever. It actually had some funny moments, and AJ Khan was really good in it.

Anonymous said...

Totally a Misty fan (more so now that I caught up on her bio (and her sisters) on imdb.com), lol, saw this one... it was funny!

Michael Whiteacre said...

This was the second Seduction Cinema title I placed on US TV. Play-mate Of The Apes was the first, and it was a huge breakthrough for them. I loved those guys. I showed up at their Christmas party or end of production year party in Hoboken right after Play-mate was bought by HBO and Showtime. This was a happy group of people. Darian Caine is gorgeous and really wacky. When I told her that she was going to be on national pay tv she got so excited she jumped and jerked around and accidentally punched me right in the eye! I remember telling her that her life would never be the same, and that people she didn't know were going to start recognizing her in the supermarket (which did happen). I believe I also may have met Kelli Summers at that party, prior to inviting her to LA to appear in Busty Cops. Anyway, I like this movie. It's quite wry and nowhere near as campy as it would have been had it been made by one of the West Coast schlock-houses. I can see Misty's appeal, but I'm more of a Darian Caine kind of guy, sucker punch notwithstanding.