Wednesday, February 07, 2007

"Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin" review

Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin (1997)
AKA Sisters of Sin

Directed by Greg Griffin
Writing credits Lou Aguilar

Justin Gorence .... Johnny Blake
Lara Daans .... Sister Avarice
Heather Lee McIntyre .... Karen (as Heather Lea McIntyre)
Alisa Christensen .... Sister Anger
Jenna Johns .... Sister Lust

“Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin” is a classic example of the B-movie bait and switch. I believed, like most people who rent a movie called “Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin”, that there would be generous helpings of bloody lesbians doing what bloody lesbians do. Alas, it was not meant to be. There was a brief bit of lesbian fooling around and I think I may have seen a drop of blood somewhere but other than that the title of this movie is a complete lie. Oh, but there were sisters in the movie. Sisters who hated each other and were never in the same room but hey, they were still family. Maybe that’s why the original title was “Sisters of Sin”. That title makes more sense than the one the out of control B-movie marketing dept. slapped on this flick.

“Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin” is trying to be some sort of “Highlander” rip-off with a lot of topless women to make the lame fight scenes go down smoother. Three sisters have three different rings that allow them be sisters of evil. The greediest sister, (Sister Avarice of course), wants the other two rings so she can be super bad. One ring to rule them all. She makes a Christopher Lambert wannabe go fetch them for her. This leads to a lot of ho hum fight scenes as our hero ends up at a karate studio and a brothel to fight the other two sisters for their rings. That’s great. Very interesting. But where are the bloody lesbians?

Well my friends, they’re nowhere to be found. There is a brief, and I mean brief, scene where one of the sisters makes a move for Highlander’s girlfriend. They have a quick kissing scene that the filmmakers repeat in slow motion just to try to squeeze some more lesbian goodness out of it. Other than that, the lesbian cupboard is bare. This dog gets no bone. AWOOOOOO!!!

There is also no blood in the movie at all. Many people get killed but blood costs money so therefore we get nothing red sprayed in our face. AWOOOOOO!!! What you do get is lots of unconvincing fight scenes as our main man punches and kicks his way through many assorted bad guys and sisters of sin.

“Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin” can be summed up in two words: Don’t bother. It won’t kill you if you watch it but why take the time to find out? There are plenty of topless women which saves it from the landfill. But when you put a heavy duty B-movie title on a movie like “Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin”, you better find a way to have a little truth in your advertising. In that respect, this movie is a lie and needs to be avoided.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 non-lesbian sisters of sin

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