Saturday, January 30, 2010

"Bad Biology" review

Bad Biology (2008)

Director: Frank Henenlotter
Frank Henenlotter R.A. Thorburn

Charlee Danielson ... Jennifer
Anthony Sneed ... Batz
R.A. Thorburn ... Ex-Boyfriend (as R.A. The Rugged Man)
Ginger Starr ... Porn Model
Brittany Moyer... Vagina-Faced Model
Vicky Wiese... Hooker
Krista Ayne... Woman in Penthouse
Mar Sirivanh... Woman on Couch
Rachael Robbins... Woman in Kitchen (as Rachel Robbins)
Alicia Hastings... Woman in Closet
Jelena Jensen... Woman in Shower
Vladislav S.... Porn Model
Jzone... Dealer
Eleonore Hendricks... Crackwhore
Tina Krause... Herself
Carolyn Thompson... Vagina-Faced Model

A woman with seven clitorises is searching for the man who can satisfy her. On the other side of town, a man with a drug addicted super penis has to find a way to control his member. The woman's body is so advanced that after she has sex she gives birth to a mutated baby a couple of hours later. The man's super unit is so powerful that it can think for itself and will wander off in search of women on its own. These raging examples of bad biology must meet.

"Bad Biology" attempts to answer the age old question that keeps me up at night. How can mutated freaks of nature find love? As for seven clit Jennifer, she stalks the bars and clubs hoping someone can feed her vagina the loving it needs. Her accelerated baby production is an unfortunate side effect to her rabid love making but she doesn't let the mutants slow her down. As for 24 inch Batz, he is trying desperately to control his third leg before it winds up hurting someone. His python of love gives women unending orgasms. Jennifer needs orgasms to live. These two were made for each other.

"Bad Biology" also answers another important question. Namely, what kind of movie would director Frank Henenlotter want to make if he jumped back into the B-movie world? I now know the answer and can safely say that he is as much a freak as Jennifer and Batz. I always loved "Frankenhooker" and was hoping he'd come back for more blood, guts and sleaze. I was not disappointed.

You can take a quick look at the hilarious credits to get a general idea of where this movie is heading. You have Porn Model, Hooker, Crackwhore, Vagina-Faced model(!), and lots of "Woman" credits. Woman in closet, shower, kitchen, penthouse, etc. "Bad Biology" was filmed in NYC and feels like it was directed by a guy who spent a lot of time hanging out in Times Square in the 70's and 80's. Only an exploitation maniac could have made this movie.

Consequently, only exploitation horror fiends are going to enjoy this movie. It's amateurish acting and inept special effects only add to its sleazy charm. When the supreme penis detaches itself and goes on the hunt for love, its quest for naked women becomes a stellar B-movie moment. It all culminates when Jelena Jensen steps out of the shower and into the loving embrace of super penis. See a giant penis attack a topless Jelena! I was crying tears of joy.

"Bad Biology" is sleazy, nasty and completely ridiculous. Naturally, I enjoyed it. It will show you the lighter side of mutant sex. It has naked women, blood, guts and vagina faced models. And it also has plenty of orgasms both big and small. Mostly big. For what is the point of using your bad biology if you don't enjoy it?

SCORE: 3 out of 4 mutant orgasms

1 comment:

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

I like the picture of the chick in the bath it looks as though shes being buggered with the aformentioned 24 inch chopper.