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Saturday, December 08, 2007

"I Know Who Killed Me" review

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

Director: Chris Sivertson
Writer: Jeff Hammond

Julia Ormond... Susan Fleming
Neal McDonough... Daniel Fleming
Brian Geraghty... Jerrod Pointer
Garcelle Beauvais... Agent Julie Bascome (as Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon)
Spencer Garrett... Agent Phil Lazarus
Gregory Itzin... Dr. Greg Jameson
Lindsay Lohan... Aubrey Fleming / Dakota Moss

Lindsay Lohan is in trouble. She is being stalked by a killer. Or is she? The killer loves the color blue. Or does he love red? Or do I care? Lindsay is kidnapped after a football game only to be found later lying in a ditch with some of her limbs hacked off. Lindsay insists she’s not who people think she is. She says she is actually a hardcore stripper named Dakota. This allows Lindsay to show us some moves in a strip club where she is so hardcore that she doesn’t even take any clothes off. This all leads too much confusion as a mystery unfolds as to who Lindsay really is and whether or not there is actually a movie here worth watching.

“I Know Who Killed Me” is a typical incoherent bad movie. As entertainment, it’s choppy, full of gaps in logic and just downright stupid. But as a vehicle to exploit Lindsay Lohan, it’s endlessly fascinating! This movie must have been conceived as the perfect movie to let an adult Lindsay Lohan run wild. “I Know Who Killed Me” allows Lindsay to smoke, drink, curse, have sex, bleed, get tortured and do a lot of strutting on stage under blue and red strobe lights. It is a beautiful example of how to exploit a former child star by shoving her into a totally inappropriate movie in an attempt to showcase her talents.

As a horror/thriller, “I Know Who Killed Me” is lacking in suspense, tension and thrills. The killer and his wicked ways are an afterthought as most of the movie dwells on Lindsay and her attempts to show us the adult side of her film persona. Watching Lindsay crash and burn with the movie was the only amount of entertainment I could glean from “I Know Who Killed Me”. I was disappointed that her stripping scenes ended with the exact same amount of clothes she started with but I wasn’t really surprised at the outcome. If you don’t care about Lohan or her half-hearted attempts at stripping, you will find this movie to be a complete waste of time. But if you need a little out of control Lohan in your life, it may be worth watching once.
SCORE: 2 out of 4 blue and red Lindsays



3 comments:

adam-0oo said...

Isn't it kind of depressing that all of those actions you describe to make her seem more adult, the drinking and swearing and torture and so on are actually less adult than the things she gets up to in her real life? She can't keep up with herself.

Anonymous said...

It was worth the $3-4 my boyfriend payed to rent it I guess. I'm kinda rooting for Lindsay to get it together so I went into it with a somewhat open mind- But yes, I agree it was choppy and not an overall good horror/suspense film- Still worth checking out though. Good review!

Anonymous said...

I have to see this. Lindsay tramping it up sounds like a blast.