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Sunday, October 19, 2008

"Vipers" review

Vipers (2008)

Director: Bill Corcoran
Writer: Brian Katkin

Tara Reid ... Nicky Swift
Jonathan Scarfe ... Cal Taylor
Corbin Bernsen ... Burton
Genevieve Buechner ... Maggie Martin
Jessica Steen ... Dr. Collins
Claire Rankin ... Ellie Martin
Mercedes McNab ... Georgie
Edwina Cheer ... Jen

Tara Reid is being attacked by vipers. The greedy corporation has mutated vipers to help Corbin Bernsen raise his company's stock price. Because as you know, flesh eating vipers always lead to massive profits. The vipers escape the lab and proceed to attack a small town. Will the townspeople survive a night of viper attacks? Will Corbin's stock portfolio be able to sustain the damage caused by an outbreak of vipers? Can Tara Reid learn to love herself again after losing her boyfriend and getting menaced by hostile vipers? And how many times can I write the word vipers in this review? Vipers, vipers everywhere.

Vipers. Why did it have to be Vipers? Yet another mutated animal escaping from a lab movie. "Vipers" is a part of an ongoing series of films called "The Maneater Series". You'll be happy to know that the vipers do in fact eat some men in this movie. And some women too for that matter. I don't think I've ever seen a movie where the snakes actually took the time to devour a body. The beast from "Anaconda" would swallow you whole but the vipers actually take the time to nibble away at your body until there's nothing left.

But since the vipers are ridiculously cheap special effects, the shock from watching these cartoons attack people is almost non-existent. "Vipers" is pure B-movie product designed to be as efficiently terrifying as their $500 budget allows. It exists to fill a time slot on the Sci-fi channel or as background noise while you chug a few beers. There is nothing scary, suspenseful or interesting about it. "Vipers" is watchable in it's own vipers on the rampage way, but there's not much reason to do so. If you need a killer snake movie, try "Anaconda". If that's out, try "Snakes on a Plane". If that's out, you must live in a town that loves killer snake movies. Then and only then, I would pick up "Vipers" for a night out with Tara Reid and her viper friends.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 beware of B-viper attacks

Although this may look like a picture of a rattlesnake, don't be fooled. That evil genius Bernsen has mutated another viper to give it a rattler. Only Tara Reid can save us now.

6 comments:

thebonebreaker said...

Nice Review Doc!

I'll keep an eye out for this one, on the Sci-Fi channel, in case there is nothing else on :-)

The Hulu Man said...

I run a fansite for Hulu, and I was wondering if you would like to be a member of a panel for our Hulu Awards Ceremony.

You would be one of about 20 panel members who would be asked to suggest and vote on the best Hulu content in a variety of categories.

Please let me know if you are interested. Either email me at uictoday@homtail.com, or leave me a comment here: http://thehulureview.blogspot.com/2008/10/hulu-awards-ceremony.html

Be sure to include your name, website, and email address if and when you respond (and I really hope you do).

Thanks!

Matt "The.Hulu.Man"

jenn said...

Why do people keep putting Tara Reid in movies??

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Tara Reid means big box office. Or in this case rentals. There was a scene where her character referred to herself as a "trainwreck". Self-referential or just inspired dialogue? You just never know what that train is going to do next.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

its interesting that you mentioned "anaconda" and "snakes on a plane" because i thought "vipers" was a better film than either of those, and by the way, "anaconda 3" is surprisingly good as well.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

I will have to check out "Anaconda 3". I liked "Anaconda 2" as well. And I would watch "Snakes on a Plane" a dozen times before watching "Vipers" again. When I think fantastic cinema, I'm thinking of the scene where the snakes attack the topless babe in the airplane bathroom. That alone sends "Snakes on a Plane" soaring over the cartoon vipers.