Friday, September 12, 2008

"Boarding Gate" review

Boarding Gate (2007)

Director: Olivier Assayas
Writer: Olivier Assayas

Asia Argento ... Sandra
Michael Madsen ... Miles Rennberg
Kelly Lin ... Sue Wang
Carl Ng ... Lester Wang
Kim Gordon ... Kay
Alex Descas ... Andrew

Asia Argento in black lingerie. That's all I knew about "Boarding Gate" before renting it. That's all any man needs to know. The cover of "Boarding Gate" has Argento in her underwear kneeling down while holding a gun. At least the filmmakers knew their most precious asset and exploited her for all she's worth. Too bad they had no interest in letting their beautiful lingerie wearing killer run wild in any sort of interesting or engaging thriller.

So Asia is having second thoughts about her S&M relationship with Michael Madsen. She loved him once but has grown tired of the leather belt and handcuff scene. They discuss their relationship in hushed tones while the audience slowly drifts off to sleep. But then the viewer is awakened suddenly when Argento strips down to reveal her black lingerie and starts to act the role of the dominatrix. This scene was going to be amazing. Alas, the good times were not to last long as the filmmakers needed to put a stop to all of the sleazy B-movie shenanigans as soon as possible. The second half of the movie takes Argento to Hong Kong where double crosses, deceitful people and Karaoke bars await her. Unfortunately with all of the convoluted plot going on she can't find time to strip down into her black lingerie again. Where are Asia's obsessed ex-lovers when you need them?

"Boarding Gate" has all of the raw ingredients of a typical thriller but cannot seem to give in to the genre. There are drug deals, Asia Argento topless, gun battles, and Asia Argento in black lingerie. These elements are all you need to make an entertaining film but "Boarding Gate" is just too pointless to make any of it exciting. It's almost as if it's slightly ashamed of itself for thinking these dirty thoughts. Just when "Boarding Gate" threatens to get interesting, something tedious happens and the movie comes crashing down to Earth.

Still, it did have Asia Argento in black lingerie. We have to keep the big picture in perspective here. Sure we've seen Argento strip down before but she does it so well. Too bad for us that the rest of the movie is not nearly as much fun as watching her strut around. If you linger on the cover of "Boarding Gate", you've already seen the best part of the movie.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 Argento struts

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