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Monday, June 02, 2008

"Mexican Werewolf in Texas" review

Mexican Werewolf in Texas (2005)

Director: Scott Maginnis
Writer: Scott Maginnis

Erika Fay... Anna Furlough
Gabriel Gutierrez... Miguel Gonzalez
Michael Carreo... Tommy
Martine Hughes... Rosie
Sara Erikson... Jill Gillespie
Louie Cruz Beltran... Manny Gonzalez
Mark Halvorson... Brad Furlough
Leslie Marshall... Carol Furlough

There has never been a good movie made about the chupacabra. “Mexican Werewolf in Texas” is no exception. The chupacabra is the monster movie kiss of death. In fact, I will go on record as to say that there will never be a good movie made about the chupacabra. Since no one really knows what it is, it will take some imagination on the filmmaker’s part to bring this blood sucking beast to life. The chupacabra does not strike fear in the hearts of men but he is good for a laugh or two.

So some bored teens are wasting away in Border Town, Texas. The town is famous for being the goat capital of the world. This excites the chupacabra who makes his way over the border so that he can chow down. The town is baffled by these mysterious killings. Tensions are getting high as the white people want to blame the Mexicans and the Mexicans want to blame the chupacabra. I blame this movie. Of course the only people who can save the town from a horrible blood sucking death are the bored teens who have become instant experts in chupacabra hunting.

The werewolf is a fine movie monster while the chupacabra is a disgrace. The chupacabra has no legend behind it to make it interesting. No silver bullets, no full moon insanity, etc. It has no back story at all. It’s just this big hairy beast that likes goat blood. Its name translates into “Goat Sucker”. Goat sucking does not cause terror. At least with a werewolf we know it’s someone who’s cursed to destroy anyone in his path under the light of a full moon. The chupacabra is cursed to destroy any movie he’s in.

As low budget and amateurish as this is, it’s still strangely watchable. There’s just something inherently amusing about watching a guy in a rubber suit attack people. Of course nothing truly interesting happens in this movie but it kept me watching in the hope that the chupacabra would surprise me. He didn’t. You can let this goat sucker go.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 goat suckers

2 comments:

The Vicar of VHS said...

I agree that there has not yet been a good chupacabra movie--and perhaps will never be, for the reasons you outline so deftly--but I just have to say, I think that rubber suit monster is fairly kickass.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Agreed. It is a fine rubber suited beast. He just needs to get over his goat fetish.