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Wednesday, June 04, 2008

"Cemetery Gates" review

Cemetery Gates (2006)

Director: Roy Knyrim
Writers: Pat Coburn Brian Patrick O'Toole

Reggie Bannister ... Belmont
Peter Stickles ... Hunter Belmont
Aime Wolf ... Dr. Christine Kollar
Nicole DuPort ... Kym
Kristin Novak ... August
Howard Berger ... Stoner Dude Doug
Gregory Nicotero ... Stoner Dude Michael

Activists decide to release a mutated Tasmanian devil on the world because they can’t stand the sight of such a magnificent monster being locked up. The beast goes hog wild with his new found freedom and proceeds to tear them to bits. The monster makes his escape to a graveyard where an amateur zombie movie is being filmed. He decides to bust up the student filming so that he can show them how a real blood soaked horror movie is made. Many fools die badly trying to escape the monster’s wrath and a good time is had by all.

“Cemetery Gates” combines two of my favorite B-movie elements: A rubber suited monster and copious amounts of blood and guts. The Tasmanian devil, (which goes by the name Precious), is a fine example of how a monster should behave in these movies. He shows no mercy to whoever is stupid enough to cross his path. He doesn’t take kindly to any kind of rude behavior. If someone should try to use him as a toilet, it will end very badly for that person’s offending anatomy. There’s another great scene where the monster leaps out of nowhere and does a flying tackle on a jogger. I had to rewind that scene a couple of times. There’s nothing like watching an extra hungry monster dive for his food for a few good laughs.

“Cemetery Gates” doesn’t try to be a serious horror movie but instead goes for large helpings of comedic gore. I had a good time watching Precious rampage his way through the cemetery. It delivers everything you would expect from a mutated Tasmanian devil movie. Blood, breasts, gore, and a guy in a rubber suit leaping on screaming people. It’s all here.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 hungry devils

4 comments:

Heather Santrous said...

Sounds like a movie I will have to check out sometime. I do have a question though. With a name like Precious, are you sure it was a he?

The Vicar of VHS said...

Dr. Gore, I'm hosting a beer and movie night this weekend with some of my like-minded friends, and your latest reviews have presented me quite a conundrum--I have one movie slot to fill, and I can't decide between Andre the Butcher or Cemetery Gates. Watching both at the same party is, unfortunately, unworkable. What do you suggest?

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Heather,

You may be right about the sex of Precious. I took it as a form of affection from the mad scientist for his beast. Either that or I wasn't paying attention.

Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) said...

Vicar,

I would go with "Cemetery Gates". "Andre the Butcher" had a few slow spots which may turn your beer fueled friends against you. The tasmanian devil keeps the blood flying.